Embrace Discomfort in Business for Unprecedented Success, with Tessa Lynne Alburn

Say YES to Your Soul

Tessa explores the theme of empowering women entrepreneurs and several areas of awareness that are causing you to lose your confidence. She addresses common challenges, such as self-doubt and seeking external approval.

Tessa highlights the importance of embracing mistakes and raising one's capacity for discomfort, and to avoid seeking approval from sources that can cause you to lose energy and confidence. Sharing personal experiences and client studies, Tessa urges you to remember your brilliance and pursue success on your own terms.

Key Takeaway: Breaking free from societal expectations is a power move.

Tessa’s Free Gift: Reignite Your Soul Fire with the Reignition Roadmap! http://www.tessafreegift.com/

Check it out!

• Embrace Mistakes & Imperfections: Entrepreneurship is not about perfection but learning from every step, overcoming self-doubt, and embracing imperfections.
• Confidence is a Journey: Confidence is gained through owning the discomfort of growth and making critical decisions that impact not only your life but others'.
• Break Free from Societal Expectations: Essential to anyone wanting to become successful as an entrepreneur. Define your narrative.
• Avoid Approval-Seeking Behaviors from under-qualified people. Instead, talk to experienced individuals in your industry who have succeeded and want you to succeed, too.
• Raise Your Capacity for Discomfort! Entrepreneurship involves uncertainty; view discomfort as a sign of growth, paving the way for unprecedented success.

* About the Host *

Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.

As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.

Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful Roadmap and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/

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May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Transcript

Tessa (00:00):

Well, hello there. Today we're going to dive deep into the essence of your brilliance, pushing boundaries and unlocking your true potential. This episode is on breaking barriers and empowering women entrepreneurs. Now, whether or not you are an entrepreneur in this moment, I know that there's going to be some overlap here of some of these ideas and how they can also serve you in your life, but maybe you're not an entrepreneur yet. Maybe you will start that up soon, or maybe you've been thinking about it. But I know a lot of the women that I work with in soul work often are entrepreneurs or become them.

(00:56):

And I wanna share some statistics with you. You know, one of the things that's happened in the last few years is an increase in self-employed women, and I found some stats from the Center for Economic and Policy Research. I'm just gonna read this to you. The share of employed women who report being self-employed rose from 7.5% in the pre-pandemic period to 8.2%. And that is an increase of 0.7 percentage points. By contrast, the share of employed men who report being self-employed rose by just 0.3 percentage points. So they went from 12.1% to 12.4%. Now, these increases represents something like 400,000 people. So even though they sound like small percentages, they actually represent a lot of folks. So it's possible that we're gonna continue this trend. It looks like that is happening already. And today I wanna share some things that I think will help you to have greater results. So I'm gonna talk about some problems and also some stretches, things that you're going to want to do. The first thing I want to bring into the light here is this problem with self-doubt.

(02:59):

One of the things that I notice in working with women, and this is the same for most of the other professionals I know in the field when they're working with women as well, there just is can be a lot of self-doubt. And this is coming about because of the relationship to fearing making mistakes. So your journey actually begins by embracing mistakes. The journey of the entrepreneur is not about perfection, neither is the journey of being a woman, that it's about embracing imperfections and learning from every single step. And associated with this is that I see a lot of people stuck in approving pattern, right? So it's not okay to make a mistake. And then if somebody like highlights something or even just asks a question about why would you do that in your business? That something gets triggered where the woman feels she has to defend her point of view, or she has to defend her decisions that she's making in her business. And so there's a lot of concern and energy put on what others will think of them.

(04:26):

And so they get their courage up and they put something out there in the world where they're seeing, maybe it's a launch, maybe it's an offer. They're making requests, they're calling people, talking to people and saying, here's what I'm doing. And if they don't see immediate results, they start to second guess or to doubt what they're doing, like they miss something. And I should have done something. And I believe that being an entrepreneur must be done with a mastery perspective, otherwise the stress is going to just be off the charts. Now, what I'm talking about is a shift in how we approach things so that we're in mastery and not coming from a performance-based perspective and having performance-based goals only. If we attempt to solve performance issues in creating or ramping up our business, and we're in a performance perspective, the stress levels can really start to go off the charts.

(05:34):

Now, confidence, which is related to all of this, right? So if you, if you have self-doubt, your confidence levels are lower. Confidence is not a destination. It's not just something you're born with either. But confidence is a journey. And so we want to have an embracing, an owning of the discomfort of growth, growth in business growth as an entrepreneur, growth as a woman, making critical key decisions with resources that are gonna impact not only her or her family, but the lives and families of others that maybe she employs or partnerships or other people that she's in relationship with in business - vendors even. One of the things you can do to start building your confidence is to always take time to reflect on your achievements. And this is any achievement, no matter how small, because every step you take is a triumph over self-doubt.

(07:09):

One of the things I want you to start stretching into is being willing to and doing it - the DEFYING of societal expectations. There's no way to live up to everybody's expectations if you are actually listening to your own inner guidance. If you're listening to your higher self, you're not gonna do the same thing everybody else is doing. And breaking free from societal expectations is your power move. So it is time to define your narrative, to boldly showcase your authentic path, your authentic process, your authentic products.

(08:02):

What you want to not do is to seek approval for your ideas with the wrong people. Women love to run to their friends and get encouragement. Oh, yeah, I had this idea. What do you think of that? And instead of like just being, Hey, wow, I feel great, I've got some ideas happening in my business. Yeah, I think, you know, I'm really excited to see where these go. Instead, they tend to put themselves in a position of being judged and then they're upset because they feel judged. So when you're exploring new ideas, the best people to talk to are going to be people who are in a very similar industry and who have succeeded already. And these are not your friends usually.

(09:06):

I remember when I was first starting out, as what I would say was like the big turning point of becoming an entrepreneur, because I had worked for myself, I'd been self-employed and I'd freelanced, and I'd worked for other people here and there and had my own healing business.

(09:24):

But there was a bigger shift when I decided I wanted to become a consultant. I wanted to be hired by companies to provide content for them, to provide training materials for their companies. And I'll never forget, I started to get names of people I was asking around, like, who do you know? Who's a consultant? Do you know anybody that does this kind of thing? Because it was just unknown to me, like what that actually looked like in real life. And I had a phone call. It was the first one that I had with the very nice man who was like the boyfriend of somebody I knew at the office. And it took time to talk with me. It was great. Like I didn't even know really what to ask him. And he was, you know, non-judgmental.

(10:26):

And I'm really grateful for that conversation. But at first, when I was listening to him, honestly, it sounded like Greek. I was like, what? What is he talking about? I just could barely relate. And I was someone who'd already freelanced for years.

(10:44):

So sharing our business stuff with our friends is not productive. And as a matter of fact, it usually does the opposite. When you go to friends for entrepreneurial business support and they are not entrepreneurs or they are not successful entrepreneurs, then what they're hearing from you or their comprehension of it is gonna be as though they're listening to a foreign language that they have no skill set with.

(10:52):

Go to your friends, please for emotional support, but don't go to them for your business decisions to actually base your decisions on what they say is not the best course of action for most people.

(11:26):

Something you can do is to listen to stories from women who have defied expectations and crafted their success on their terms. Your story's just waiting to be written. And if you wanna listen to some inspiring stories, listen to some other episodes on this podcast. Every week that we have a guest, someone is sharing an amazing part of their journey where they were having issues and they got through them and they have become successful. I'm providing successful people for you to learn from.

(12:04):

The third main thing I want you to understand here today is that not only do you need to start stretching into making mistakes, and that's gonna feel a little uncomfortable, but I want you to literally raise your capacity for all other kinds of discomfort. And I would say the main piece around that is the discomfort of the unknown, the uncertain.

(12:35):

When we have that certainty in life, like we know a paycheck's coming in, or we know we're gonna have a job that's gonna produce this, that, or the other, or we know there's gonna be this much money coming in from our investments, those all create a certain kind of certainty and we can even get wigged out about those if we're looking at them from you know, a sense of lack. But in entrepreneurship, we mostly do not know how all the opportunities are actually gonna work out together. We can take steps, daily steps towards our goals, and we can follow great structures and models, but we don't know exactly with a hundred percent certainty what's gonna happen and how it's gonna work, and exactly the date that we're gonna make X amount of dollars.

(13:34):

So raising your capacity for discomfort is gonna be essential. And it's not just around the money stuff, it's the discomfort of not really understanding like, who's my client, maybe, or, you know, what do I really want to create? What is the product? Like, what's the new product? What's the next product? How do I make all those decisions? So there are many, many decisions that you will be uncomfortable about until you've made the decision. And then you don't wanna go into second guessing or self-doubt. So you learn to be in the discomfort until you have enough information, enough feedback to know what the next step is from there.

(14:27):

So to put a little mind shift on this, I want you to start thinking of discomfort as a sign of growth. Because when you push your limits, you pave the way for unprecedented success. It's the only way to have success is by creating new things. And if you knew what it was, it wouldn't be, you know, inspiring, it wouldn't be like part of your path. It probably wouldn't be part of your purpose.

(14:58):

Not long ago, one of my clients was absolutely certain that a professional relationship she was in was gonna sort of rather implode. Actually, I think she thought she'd be losing a lot of money by a situation that was happening. And she was very upset and frustrated by the actions of the other person. And so she decided to confront them, but it didn't go well. It just escalated all the frustration and it created a false sense of urgency rather than helping her to feel empowered and to find a solution. So when I met with her, I could see...