EP 463: Stop Talking Yourself into an Unhealthy Relationship with Sarah

Over It And On With It

In this episode of “Over It and On With It,” Christine Hassler coaches Sarah, who struggles with the complexities of a relationship that appears both deeply meaningful and deeply troubling. Sarah's situation involves a partner who alternates between emotional closeness and sudden, unexplained withdrawal, triggering Sarah's abandonment fears.

Christine helps Sarah recognize the unhealthy patterns and offers guidance on finding the strength to set necessary boundaries. Christine's compassionate yet direct approach aims to support listeners who may find themselves rationalizing toxic behaviors in their relationships due to unresolved childhood wounds.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself attracted to relationships that cause you significant stress and anxiety?
• Are you making excuses for someone's unhealthy behavior because of their past trauma or because they express emotions sincerely?
• Did you grow up in a household where you felt neglected or unloved, leading you to accept less than you deserve in relationships?
• Do you struggle with setting firm boundaries and often talk yourself into staying in relationships that don't serve you?
• Are you ready to take bold actions to change unhealthy patterns in your relationships?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Sarah's intense connection with her partner is rooted in unresolved childhood abandonment issues, making her more tolerant of behaviors like ghosting and emotional withdrawal.
• Despite the partner's ability to articulate emotions, his repeated blocking and disappearing acts are red flags that cannot be overlooked.
• Christine highlights the importance of evaluating how someone handles stress and whether they take responsibility for their triggers and actions.
• The episode underscores the necessity of setting clear boundaries and recognizing when a relationship is unhealthy, regardless of the depth of emotional connection.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Acknowledge and address the old childhood wounds influencing your tolerance for unhealthy behaviors in relationships.
• Practice emotional and physical grounding techniques to reconnect with your sense of self-worth and power.
• Seek out trauma-informed therapy or coaching to work through past wounds in a supportive and healthy environment.
• Establish firm boundaries and recognize that justifying toxic behaviors is a coping strategy rooted in past trauma.
• Affirm your worthiness of love and respect, and take bold actions to protect your emotional well-being.

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