Types Of Breakups That Get Back Together

The Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast

What if I were to tell you that there are six types of breakups that are likely to get back together?

Would you be interested in what they were?

Well, today that’s what we’re going to be talking about. Below I have listed the six types of breakups that in my opinion are the easiest to see success in.

1. On Again/Off Again Breakups
2. You Break Up With Them
3. Being Left While You Are Pregnant
4. The Grass Is Greener Breakup
5. The Evolutionary Breakup
6. The Zeigarnik Breakup

For those of you who are avid readers of my website this article is going to be similar to my “types of breakups ranked by recovery time” discussion with a few major shifts. So, buckle up and pay attention because as always, there’s a lot to talk about here.

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Type #1: The On Again/Off Again Breakup

Perhaps the most common “type” of breakup that I see getting back together is one in which the couple is caught in the on again/off again cycle.

For reference, I’d like to point you to my relationship death wheel graphic,

Or more specifically how people get caught up in the eight stages of it.

1. Your ex starts off wanting someone to love them
2. They find you and think their troubles are over
3. They notice some worrying things
4. They start thinking of leaving
5. They actually leave the relationship
6. They feel happy they left
7. They start to feel kind of lonely
8. They feel bad for themselves and wonder why this always happens to them

And that’s just one revolution of the wheel.

Think of it like this.

Each revolution around this wheel is another on again/off again phase.

You see, the challenge with breakups like this isn’t so much IF you can get an ex back. It’s more about IF you can stop the “off again” phase from occurring.

Let’s move on to our next type of breakup.

Type #2: You Break Up With Them

I’d love to be able to sit up here in my high tower and say that it doesn’t matter who broke up with who on the outset of a breakup.

And for the most part this is true.

The most part…

Which means there is some truth to the statement.

If you were the one that ended the relationship with your ex then you will find it a tad bit easier to get them back.

Perhaps no one personifies this better than Jessy. One of the very first success story interviews I did.

You can see this because if you go back to the article I wrote about time frames then you’d see that her situations was ranked as the quickest success only taking her a total of one month before she reconnected with her (now husband.)

Why?

Well, there’s obviously more to it than the fact that she was the one to break up with him. However, I do think that was a big part of the speed was due to the fact that she was the one who rejected him.

And as much as I hate to bring this up, that age old adage,

Men want what they can’t have.

Well, it sort of holds true.

Type #3: Being Left While You Are Pregnant

While Jessy above may have been my first success story interview she wasn’t my first actual success story. In fact, my first actual success story was a woman named Ashley and it occurred before this website was even in existence. You see, Ashley sat next to me in a college class and we struck up a friendship, nothing romantic, she already had a boyfriend.

And when I say she had a boyfriend I mean she LOVED this guy.

So much in fact that when he got a job three hours away she dropped college, followed him and moved in together with him.

I don’t hear from her for months until one day out of the blue I get a call from her.

Her boyfriend had broken up with her.

That sucks…

The next day she calls me again, “she’s pregnant.”

She begs me to help her win him back and thus, Ex Boyfriend Recovery was born.

It took her seven months before she got him back and taught me a valuable lesson. There’s a certain allure that men have to pregnant women. Sure, they panic and run away at first but that’s their baby and most do come back at some point.

Take Rachel,

Another one of our clients who got pregnant with her exes baby.

I have two kids so I can speak to this. It’s pretty scary to find out your significant other is pregnant with your child AND I’M MARRIED.

Your whole life is about to change and some men (cowards) run away from that responsibility. They fall victim to the fear of the moment but after time settles things, you’ll find that most men want to come back. The problem is, by the time that happens most women are soured from the whole experience.

That’s exactly what happened with Rachel.

Type #4: The Grass Is Greener Breakup

For this one I’d like to refer again to my relationship death wheel graphic.

Remember, this is breaking down the experience of a relationship from a dumpers perspective and every single time it ends up in the same exact place,

With an ex feeling sorry for themselves and thinking,

Why can’t I ever find the right person?

Now, this leads all exes to a crossroads.

1. They either try again with you
2. They either try again with someone else

But what happens if your ex always planned to try again with someone else? What happens if they got the hots for this person while they were with you?

And the entire time during this phase,

Where they are thinking of leaving you all they are thinking about is being with this other person.

This is what I would call a grass is greener situation.

They literally think the grass is greener on the other side.

But it’s important to remember that all rebound relationships start off that way. It’s also important to remember that they are still caught in their own death wheel.

Right at stages one and two,

1. “I want someone to love me.”
2. “I found someone my troubles are over.”

But what happens when they hit stage three,

They start noticing some worrying things about their new partner. They start comparing that new partner to you and all of a sudden YOU look like the more attractive candidate.

That’s why this type of breakup has made the list.

Type #5: The Evolutionary Breakup

This one is more internal than any of the other ones.

1. With the on again/off again you have a situational type breakup
2. With the you broke up with them, you once again have a situation type of breakup
3. You are pregnant, situational
4. Grass is greener, maybe circumstantial?

Whatever, all I’m trying to say is that this type of breakup is different than the others.

I’ve been doing this since 2012 (so ten years) and in that time I have had tens of thousands of people purchase my programs or buy a coaching session. I have had thousands of people find success with their exes.

With all that data.

With all that time.

I can confidently say that the most important factor for “winning an ex back” is your ability to outgrow your ex during a breakup.

Your ability to evolve.

To get to a place where you kind of don’t want them back anymore.

People who had that subtle mindset shift tend to do great.

People who don’t have the mindset shift… well, they tend not to.

Type #6: The Ziegarnik Breakup

One of the strategies that I’m famous for propagating is something called the zeigarnik effect which stages,

People remember interrupted or incomplete tasks better than completed ones.

Often you’ll hear me use this in conjunction with how I believe my clients should be ending conversations with their exes.

End a conversation at its high point and your ex is more likely to start the next conversation because it’ll feel like there’s unfinished business.

Well, what if I were to tell you that there’s actually an entire segment of breakups that end this way.

I’ll use the lowest hanging example I can think of.

You and your ex date for eight months and it’s glorious.

No major fights.

The connection is off the charts.

The two of you just seem to be in lock step with one another.

And then your exes boss transfers him out of state. Your ex, not believing in long distance relationships decides that the two of you should break up. There’s nothing wrong with your relationship, circumstances simply forced his hand. There’s unfinished business the two of you have.

One can apply the ziegarnik effect to the whole of your relationship.

Situations like these I have found to be some of the best situations for success because while the zeigarnik effect is meant to be applied to small scale things like conversations or dates, it can also have applications to large scale things like entire relationships.

If you and your ex have unfinished business then that bodes well for your success.

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