209. What I hope you take away from the Simple on Purpose podcast (retirement party!)

Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

Dearest listeners, today is the finale episode where I share with you my experience of the podcast, answer your questions and sum up the takeaways I hope you have had from listening to the podcast.

Episode topics and related links

• the start of the blog
  • My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to Admit
• my two main goals with the podcast
• how the podcast has changed me
  • How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life)
  • Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types)
  • anchor words (Bless It and Release It came from Stef Gass)
• Making life adjustments
  • looking at decisions through the lens of our resources
    • You Can Simplify Your Life Series
  • our relationship with time
    • Don’t wait for the Golden Years (seeing gold in the every day)
  • growing through turning off the autopilot and taking an opposite action
    • 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?
    • 79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do about it)
  • listening to your life
    • Listening To Your Life
    • Show Up For Your Life [series]
• What I hope listeners take away from the podcast (my wishes for you)
  • It is ok to feel your feelings
    • all episodes on feelings are in this playlist
    • if you can’t access that playlist, start here with 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions
  • everything is hard AND awesome
    • 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives.
    • 207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships)
    • 201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk
  • you are not alone
    • 145. You aren’t alone mama, I go through that too
    • 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood)
  • address conflict, rather than avoid it
    • 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?
  • take care of yourself
    • The Meeting Your Needs Series
  • own your life
    • I was a Mom Martyr, here’s how to tell if you are too and what to do about it
    • Build a life based on your own definition of success, not everyone else’s definition
  • small things matter
    • 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect)
  • enjoy your life
    • When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them)
    • 203. Being a mom who enjoys her life
    • Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it)
    • 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun

Ways to stay connected

1. Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email
2. Save the Spotify playlists, grouped by theme
3. Email or DM me the topic you are looking for, I’m sure there is an episode on it and I will send it your way
4. Of course, 1:1 coaching and counselling is available

Listener Faves

This a list of episodes that listeners sent to me, as being their fave episode of the Simple on Purpose podcast

• The ‘mom martyr’ episode
  • 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr)
• The most common search term, of late
  • When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them)
• Mindset for new moms
  • 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets
  • 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers
• Letting go of our ego
  • 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives.
• Building a sense of capability vs a sense of control
  • 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom?
• Hearing from moms of each enneagram type
  • The Enneagram + Motherhood Series
• Various conversations around self-care
  • The Meeting Your Needs Series
• Living on autopilot
  • 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?
• Framing your experience of motherhood
  • 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories

Full transcript (unedited)

0:07
Hey, it’s Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the finale episode of Simple on purpose. Yes, I am retiring. But the podcast episodes, they’re all gonna stay here for you to use the archives. And all the different topics we’ve covered over the years are gonna stay here. But this is our retirement party episode, I want to sprinkle in some input from you listeners that you’ve sent in. I want to toast to what I’ve learned during the podcast, and I want to make some retirement wishes to send along with you. Yep, it’s the retirement speech you didn’t ask for but you’re gonna get it. And we’re going to start of course, with some twinkling flashback music, to where it all began. You’ve heard me share this, maybe I started blogging in 2011. After my first child was born by emergency C section, it was a difficult delivery was a difficult experience. And I felt like nobody really got what I went through because my circle of moms didn’t have that experience. I was feeling really overwhelmed with these emotions and what to do with them and who to talk to. And my postnatal nurse recommended I write about it. And that was dovetail blog dovetail blog was born from that place. It was a place I shared about motherhood on the regular. And then it shifted into the simple on purpose blog. In 2016, I made a new change and I had at home a two year old a four year old five year old and after consistent blogging for many years, I decided I needed to take it off my plate for a bit. And I was just going to send out a regular newsletter a bi weekly email called simple Saturdays. That was the birth of simple Saturdays that’s still happening that bi weekly email and I just love that place. Also, during this time, I had been listening to podcasts, some of those oh geez like the happy hour with Jamie Ivey cat Lee’s podcast, she had one about motherhood. And what about blogging? Jeff Goins was another voice that I was listening to a lot. These days, there’s, I don’t know, 1000s Millions. I don’t know how many podcasts there are. But those were some OG ones. And I was just soaking them up. I was loving them. I could just listen to them on the go and get that motivation, inspiration, interesting stories, interesting people. And I really fell in love with podcasts as a way to communicate and create a community. So in 2018, I started making an audio version of the simple Saturday’s email. If you go back to those first episodes of The Simple on purpose podcast, that’s what they are. They’re kind of recaps of the simple Saturday’s email, I realized that there were people like me who preferred to just listen on the go. And I really wanted to keep spreading the simple on purpose community. Quickly, I found that I had a chance to say things and I wanted to do more than just recap the simple letters email. So it turned into episodes about a single topic from there. That was six years ago. As the podcast has grown over the years, you listeners have helped it rank over the years in the past, in the top 20 for parenting podcast with Apple, Canada, and in the top seven need for self improvement podcasts with Apple, Canada. That felt like a huge win. One of my leading goals with the podcast was first and foremost that episodes be tight, a tight 2020 minutes or less. Because in my opinion, which is very biased unless you’re doing an entertainment podcast, and people are coming to you for entertainment. Unless you’re interviewing someone. Or maybe you’re human and you have just like four hours of research you want to share though I think it’s still way too long. I think it’s unnecessary to have such long episodes. I feel like 20 minutes is important. It forces me the podcaster and you the listener to come into this really efficient and focused time. I don’t want fluff. I don’t want chatter, usually unless you’re here to entertain me. So I just assumed other Altair would want the same. And I’ve heard that from many of your moms that you appreciate a quick episode. You’re listening to me on your drives on your walks while folding the neverending laundry while making dinner. To prepare for this episode, I emailed you guys I put it on Instagram, and I asked for your favorite episodes or questions that you had for me about the podcast. And first of all, thank you for all of your messages back. You guys have given me some really kind and supportive and sweet words. And I’ve been reading them all I might not email back just yet, but I’m reading them. And I want to thank you all for that I have shared on the podcast and I think this is something that anyone is a listener or a consumer of content on the other end. I think it’s helpful to understand that for someone who’s putting something out there it can feel really one sided sometimes to put out my stories and thoughts and ideas out into the interwebs it’s kind of like tossing a rock down a well and waiting for the plunk. You want to hear the plunk You want to know, the rock has reached the water, the plunk tells you it’s been received. So hearing back, hearing back from you has been the feedback that kept me feeling like I was on the right track, and I’m doing something of value for you. So I hope you feel my adoration of you listeners who have made this feel like a conversation. And let me know that I was helping you live more simple and more on purpose, which, of course, was my other goal in all of this, and I would anchor this idea with the word that I would say to myself over the years, and that word was freedom. It has been my mission to bring women freedom, it has been it still is it will be freedom from being overwhelmed by your motions, freedom from the autopilot, living freedom from the all or nothing thinking and the belief that you don’t actually have a choice, freedom from all of the checklists on who you should be and how your life should look and how your kids should act and what your husband to do. Freedom from all the clutter in your space in your brain and your life and freedom from all of these things so that you get to make choices you choose. You set your vision you decide your values. I had a question, how has this podcast changed me, a couple of things come to my mind. One, the biggest one is given me a voice literally and metaphorically, which as an Enneagram. Nine, that’s been a challenge for me to cultivate and really embrace over the years. For so many years, I just believe that I don’t have a voice or my voice doesn’t matter. And now I created a platform for myself where I was putting my voice out there, it was so awkward. And it was a place I was fully in control of. So when you have a voice and you’re finally in control of it, you start being a lot more mindful of what you want to say sometimes to mindful, overthinking. But it has made me think so much more about what I want to say how am I living? What am I noticing, it encouraged me to research and deep dive into topics and to kind of unearth these things that I want to bring to you guys. And it’s made me more accountable into living simple and on purpose. Not that I did or do it perfectly. I hope you get that from me. I am not here to be anyone’s aspiration. I am not here to be a spokesperson or an exemplar. I am here to have the conversations. I’m here to talk about ideas. I’m here to remind you that you get to choose, you should not be a cookie cutter of anyone else. You need to listen to yourself and your life and decide what you will pursue. Another way this podcast has changed me is it’s made me resilient. There were seasons of the podcasts where I didn’t get feedback, no plunk when they dropped the rock. There were seasons where someone would say something unkind. There were seasons where I would lose an editor and I had to do that part for a while there were seasons where I felt overwhelmed. Or I wasn’t sure what I should be talking about, or I doubt it every single word coming out of my mouth. And I’m not sure if you ever put these things together. But I’ve never monetized the podcast these days, right now you might be hearing an ad or two. But that sense, and I have not done any monetizing of the podcast all these years. Not that I am noble, costs money after all, but just that it always felt like something I would figure out later, later, really never game turns out. But through all of this sense of doubt, and defeat and confusion, there was something in me that just wouldn’t quit, I grew a lot of resilience in myself. And I had to root myself, ultimately, I have to root that in something. And I rooted it in the belief that this was the right thing to do. I was really carried along from one doubt to the next, by your notes, by your ratings and reviews by your messages when you’re doing things that you could just quit and you’re kind of like why am I here, it’s really important to root yourself in purpose and hope and intention, and something you’re passionate about. So my anchor thought would be just bless it and release it put this out into the world and choose to believe that maybe this episode isn’t for everyone, not everyone’s gonna get something for it, but it is for that one person who needed it.

9:15
I’m sure just listening to this, you can imagine that this is a hard thing to leave. And also it’s not. It’s weird, because I’ve known for a long time that I would be leaving the podcast, I felt like God was just slowly whispering into my ear to prepare me slowly so that when the time came, I could just make that choice clean and assured that the time was right. And the reasons that prompted me to retire the podcast are simply time and energy. If you listen to me in the past, I would call these two of our resources, our resources, what we have available to us to budget and allocate in our own lives. Time, money, energy, what whether that’s physical or emotional in our physical space. These are all things we have an unlimited supply each day. Sure we can make make some big moves, we can change the amount of money and energy and space we have. But time is always a concrete limit on us. There’s only so much time. And I don’t know what you feel when you say the word time, but I’m at a place in my life where time is a word that rings in my bones when I say it, time has become something so precious to me. So bitter sweet. It has tangles in thorns, but it’s also blooming and beautiful. This relationship I have with time, no doubt is formed from seeing my mom losing herself to dementia. There is time I cannot regain. There are conversations I can never have. And I’ve shared this before on the simple senators email on the blog, watching my parents experience of time seeing how people could set up their whole life to just get through to the next stage or to the golden years almost living on autopilot until life can be enjoyed and then that just crumbles in your hands. It’s made me so hyper aware how precious time is. Oh, did you know you’re getting the extended version? My decision to retire the podcasts? Yeah, these are the deep thoughts that are really informing these decisions for me. Ultimately, my time and energy had to be reassessed because I have had an opportunity to work more in a healthy communities job, which meant less time for one to one clients, which means something has to be taken off of my plate. So rather than than fighting my life to make it all work, I knew now is the time to drop the podcast. And it’s been tough. I value this place in these conversations so much. But it’s a decision that’s really bringing me some peace and some breathing space. I’ve noticed, I shared in a similar set simple Saturdays email this month that I found myself just taking time to think like, what do I feel like doing right now. And I could go for an afternoon walk. Instead of drafting up episode notes. I could go downstairs and play the piano or prepare some lunch for myself. Instead of drafting an episode, I could sit on the deck with my husband for the afternoon instead of recording and editing a podcast episode. This weekend, I also found myself solo parenting. And I spent an afternoon on the deck helping my almost 1210 year old cut and drill wood to make a chair that he dreamed up in his head. And I was noticing, I didn’t feel any urgency or mental chatter. I didn’t find myself reaching for my phone I didn’t like evaluate in my head, when am I gonna go get work done on the next episode, I was just there with him. This is what I wanted to just be there. Because deep down, I’m driven by this knowledge that we don’t know how long we have one another. We need to balance our goals and productivity, with our intention and our presence. Being able to just be there, it felt reassuring that I have peace in this decision. Not just relief, which is temporary but peace, right? There’s a difference. And who knows, maybe my retirement will be like Garth Brooks, and I’ll come back a few times over the next decade. Who knows? Who knows. But what I’m trying to really reflect here is that life is seasons, you can always change your mind. And you can always decide to commit through the hard seasons through the doubt builder options. And in working with many women over many years, I would encourage you that depending on your natural instincts, we often do the most growing when we do the opposite of our instincts of our autopilot for me, it would have been easy drop the hard thing and change my mind when it got tough. I knew I had to see it through and only leave when I felt like I had really taught myself that resilience and commitment. For others who never quit even when they should. You might need the reminder to stop fighting your life to make something happen just because you said you would. You might need the reminder, you can always change your mind. And if you can give yourself compassion and acceptance you don’t need it for anyone else from anyone else. Listen to your life. Listen to what it needs this season. Throughout this episode, I’ve just been answering some of the questions that were sent in to me through what I’ve been sharing. But I want to address one really specifically, it’s a really great question a listener wants to hear a sum of things that I would like the listeners to take with them. I’m going to call them my wishes for you. And I want to answer that first by sharing a note that was sent in to me from a listener and part of what she said was this. You have taught me that it’s okay to feel my feelings. And something can be hard and good at the same time. You also gave me the much needed perspective that I wasn’t alone who like if I retired knowing that I was able to offer this to one mom. I will retire pretty darn satisfied that my goals with this podcast have been completed. But I also want to point out you can listen to advice and ideas all day long. What you do is it is up to you. I can’t take credit it for you being open and humble and self reflecting and doing no work of applying any concepts or changes to your life. So, pat yourself on the back. I am going to make that quick summary list of things that I hope listeners are taking away. And as mentioned, in that note, I just shared feelings. Feelings have a purpose, feelings are for feeling. And there’s a lot of wisdom in our emotions if we can learn how to pay attention to them and use them in very healthy and useful ways. Hard and awesome. It’s a saying in our house, saying I give to clients, everything is hard and awesome. The day the season your home, your people, you you are hurting, awesome. And you aren’t alone. Part of realizing this is letting go of extremes. I really hate the notion that there are two camps of mums. One we feel like are the beautiful robots running the PTA. And their kids are always listening. They probably wash their hair every day. And the other ones who forgot it was wear green day at school. So they wrap their kids some Christmas paper shoving out the door. They’re living off toast and coffee and maybe wearing the four year old maternity bra and sweatpants that just feel so uncomfortable. Like I don’t think we are one of these extremes. I really think because it’s in my experience too. We’re in the middle, we’re moving between these two, we don’t have to be a hot mess. And we don’t have to be superhumans. We can be both in different ways. And at different times. I do have an episode on this. But what I want you to let go of here is that idea of extremes. I’m this or I’m that it’s us versus them her versus me. And then we find common ground. We’re just women. We’re moms, we kind of all want the same things. We just want to love our kids well, and maybe a nap. And then if I were to add a few more of my wishes for those who listen to the podcast here is what I hope you have been encouraged to do over the years. One address conflict rather than avoid it. taking the easy way out often leads down a harder road. To take care of yourself like real care. This is no one’s job but yours and I don’t mean self comfort but self care. Three, own your life. Don’t be a martyr. Empower yourself. Give yourself capability and hope and strength and own it. For we enforce small things matter. Do a small thing today that’s in line with who you want to be these build up over time. And the last one my favorite. Enjoy, enjoy your life. Enjoy your people. Enjoy your own company. Enjoy the way the sun shines through the trees. Enjoy the hum of the dryer at night. Enjoy stupid TV shows. Enjoy fresh sheets and your favorite soap. Enjoy a kitchen dance party. Enjoy saying goodnight to your kids enjoy the simple things. One of the most common ways that people find simple on purpose is through searching some kind of topic related to I stopped enjoying my kids, I don’t enjoy my kids. If you search this to find me, you aren’t alone. There’s a reason I wrote it, there’s a reason I shared it. My end goal with all of this is that you can remove all the distractions, the clutter, that you will find tools and strategies and empowerment to make the time and energy and space and money and intention to actually enjoy your life and the people you choose to have in it. With all of that, I’m gonna go enjoy my day, you’re going to Well, I’m going to edit this and post the show notes. Then I’m gonna go sit in the Sunbeam for a bit the kids are going to be done school this week. I know an empty house will not be available to me for a few months. So I’m gonna go do that and I hope you go do something you enjoy to. To wrap up, stop by the show notes. I’m going to try and pack them with all the related links, the list of listeners favorite episodes. And you can always read the transcripts or at the bottom of every episode if you’d like to read these things. And then in another thank you because I wanted this to be a celebration of us. Thank you for being part of this community.

19:11
Thank you for your messages whether you hit reply on simple Saturdays or you found me on Instagram. Thank you for sharing the podcast to your Instagram stories. Thank you for sharing it with your friends. Thank you for any rating and review you ever left on your podcast player and you can still leave on if you want. I love to see them. Thank you for any posting you did in the Facebook group or the recent but short lived Patreon and just thank you for subscribing. Thank you for being a listener. To stay connected. Make sure you subscribe to the simple Saturday’s email is still coming out twice a month. And you know since I’ve kind of been on a hiatus with Instagram, you’re gonna find me overcompensating for the lack of podcasting and lack of Instagram and probably just generally oversharing that email some ideas for you if you want to make use of the 200 Plus episode archive. There’s a few things you can do. One is, check out the podcast playlists, save those playlists on your Spotify. These are all themed by different topics like habit change mom on purpose, minimalism, emotional intelligence, and email me or DM me on Instagram. If you’re looking for a topic. I’m sure there’s an episode on that. Just email me and I’ll send it your way. And check out in the show notes. Check out the fav episodes list. I’m going to list out some of those listeners favorite episodes that they shouldn’t send it to me in the show notes. Kind of like a best of according to the listeners. Alright friends, it’s been a pleasure. Thank you for letting me share my voice with you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for coming alongside this journey with warmth and love. Take care of yourself. Enjoy the awesome. Learn from the hard and have a great week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai