215. Q+A: "Why Does It Take Me So Long To Get Turned On?"

Honeydew Me

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.

The Question: "I'm in a really loving and supportive relationship and I want to have sex. Like, I mentally want it—I’m attracted to my partner, I crave intimacy, I feel emotionally connected… but it still takes me a long time to feel fully turned on physically. I don’t just get wet easily, and sometimes it feels like I’m waiting for my body to catch up. It makes me feel kind of broken or like I’m doing something wrong. Is this normal? Why is it so hard to just “flip the switch,” even when I want to be there? And how can I navigate this with my partner in a way that doesn’t make things awkward or overly clinical?"

We're covering:

• The difference between spontaneous vs responsive desire
• How to stop "shoulding" on yourself when it comes to sex
• Tips for talking to your partner about your needs (BONUS: how to talk to a casual hookup about your needs)
• Specific strategies you can use to get in the mood (solo or with your partner)

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