Fear of Abandonment Resolved

Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)

Player FM - Internet Radio Done Right

اضافه شده در four سال پیش

محتوای ارائه شده توسط Dr. Nima Rahmany. تمام محتوای پادکست شامل قسمت‌ها، گرافیک‌ها و توضیحات پادکست مستقیماً توسط Dr. Nima Rahmany یا شریک پلتفرم پادکست آن‌ها آپلود و ارائه می‌شوند. اگر فکر می‌کنید شخصی بدون اجازه شما از اثر دارای حق نسخه‌برداری شما استفاده می‌کند، می‌توانید روندی که در اینجا شرح داده شده است را دنبال کنید.https://fa.player.fm/legal

<div class="span index">1</div> <span><a class="" data-remote="true" data-type="html" href="/series/young-and-profiting-with-hala-taha-entrepreneurship-sales-marketing">Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)</a></span>

1
Young and Profiting with Hala Taha (Entrepreneurship, Sales, Marketing)

لغو اشتراک

11 hours پیش11h ago

لغو اشتراک

هفتگی+

Young and Profiting with Hala Taha is the must-listen podcast for anyone who is hardcore into entrepreneurship. Hosted by Hala Taha, a self-made entrepreneur and marketing expert, this top-ranked show features mini-masterclasses with business icons and entrepreneurs like GaryVee, Alex Hormozi, Mel Robbins, Reid Hoffman, Tom Bilyeu and Codie Sanchez. Listen to YAP to profit in all aspects of life - from boosting sales and beating algorithms, to brain hacks and biohacking. Whether you’re launching a startup, scaling your business or simply wanting to expand your sales and marketing skills, each episode delivers actionable advice that WILL help you profit in life. If you want the motivation to level up your entrepreneurship game and work hard - while still prioritizing your mental and physical health - then Listen, Learn and Profit with Young and Profiting Podcast!

حدود یک سال پیش 2:37

MP3•خانه قسمت

Curtis is a good-looking dude.

When I see his Instagram videos—shirt off, abs on display—

I admit I get a pang of jealousy. My dad bod under this shirt doesn’t compare.

But looks only get you so far.

Despite having no problem attracting women, Curtis faced one consistent issue:

He got friend-zoned.

Within months. Like clockwork.

He did all the “work.”
Facilitated under the great John Demartini.
Attended therapy, coaching, cognitive training—you name it.

But none of it mattered.

Because once a deep attachment was formed,

usually after months of sex, the same nightmare played out:

The triggers would come roaring back.

Unanswered Texts or Calls: He’d spiral into anxiety,
getting pushy or needy, triggering her to withdraw.
Emotional Distance: Her need for space made him feel rejected,
and he’d show up controlling, amplifying the very thing he feared.
Ambiguity in Commitment: His pressure for clarity
triggered her to pull away, leaving him feeling abandoned.
Conflict: Instead of holding his ground,
he’d fawn and people-please, erasing his own self-worth
and repelling her further.
Her Focus on Others: A harmless shift in attention—
from him to her friends, work, or hobbies—
would send him into a tailspin of jealousy and insecurity.

And here’s the kicker:

No matter how much therapy, coaching,

or self-help he consumed,

the fear of abandonment still ran the show.

Every woman. Every time.

At 39, successful in his career

but feeling like a complete failure in love,

Curtis hit rock bottom.

He realized:

He was chasing unhealthy,
unavailable partners while pushing away the secure ones.
His unresolved fear of abandonment
was controlling his every move.
He was abandoning himself in every relationship,
chasing validation like his life depended on it.

When Curtis came to the Overview Experience,

it zapped him like a neon sign:

This need for external validation wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t a character flaw.

It was a wound.

A wound he was finally ready to face.

For the first time, he:

Got out of his head and into his body.
Healed his attachment wounds and learned to self-regulate his emotions.
Stopped chasing validation and started owning his self-worth.

Within weeks, Curtis connected with a healthy,

secure woman he had previously ghosted—

a relationship he had walked away from

because it didn’t trigger the familiar anxiety he mistook for “chemistry.”

This time, he leaned in.

He faced his fear of abandonment and alchemized it without letting it control him.
He turned conflict into intimacy instead of shutting down or fawning.
He stopped running on anxiety fumes and started showing up as his grounded, secure self.

Now?

They plan their future together, naturally and without pressure.
Their triggers are moments of growth, not chaos.
Their relationship is a source of joy, not anxiety.

When he gets triggered, he knows exactly how to resolve it,
and show up as his healthy masculine magnetic adult self.
(Here’s a share in the community training when he described the shift)

Curtis no longer lives in the fear of “friend zones” or failed relationships.

Instead, he co-creates a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and security.

This is the transformation that happens when you become Trigger-Proof.

He thought he had done all the things, mastered all the tools,
but still he ended up showing up as a fawner,
with the disease to please, not owning his self worth,
and willing to abandon himself to seek external validation.

He realized that he left one stone unturned:

Becoming Trigger-Proof to his Fear of Abandonment.
No matter who the person was he was dating,
it was his fear of unresolved fear of abandonment that was
in the drivers seat.

During the Overview Experience he saw it clearly,
like a neon sign pointing him to the promised land.

This need for external validation wasn’t even his:
It was something he was born into.

It wasn’t a character flaw.

There was nothing wrong with him.

Within weeks of shifting the frame back into his own body,
his own experience,
Healing his attachment wounds,

he connected with a healthy and secure woman
that over a year ago he ghosted because it didn’t bring up the same
familiar anxiety levels as the unhealthy Trauma Bonded ones he was used to…

and they began the journey together.

Within 2 months of dating he knew she was his person.

And for the first time,
he showed up in a way where she was also “all in”.

He was willing to lean into the fear of abandonment triggers
that naturally pop up, and use them to resource himself further.

He was willing to use his new found skills of turning conflict into deeper intimacy.

Their relationship grows deeper every day,
and his relationship no longer runs on Anxiety fumes.

They plan together.

They envision their future together.
No more “wondering.”
No more “friend zone” or ambiguity.

Their relationship unfolds naturally,
without pressure, without control.

They navigate life’s challenges
without spiraling into fear or self-doubt.

Triggers become opportunities for deeper intimacy,
not signs of failure.

This is what it means to co-create a Trigger-Proof relationship:

To stop chasing.
To stop pining and waiting.
To stop abandoning yourself for connection.

Instead, you show up as your secure,
magnetic, adult self—grounded in your worth,
unshaken by external chaos.
You’ve mastered the art of high-level secure relating,
where your presence alone attracts healthy energy toward you.

And for the first time, you’re open to receiving it.

No more addiction to chaos.
No more pursuit of validation.
No more mistaking anxiety for love.

Imagine what that would feel like.

It happened for Curtis.
It happened for me.
And it can happen for you.

Man or woman,
it doesn’t matter.

But it starts with one decision:

To stop living by patterns that weren’t yours to begin with.
To rewire what didn’t start with you.
To de-condition the beliefs that have kept you stuck.

If you’ve felt trapped in the same cycles—
chasing, overthinking, losing yourself in relationships—this is your moment.

2025 is your year.

Because no one is coming to save you but you.

And the moment you decide to step into your power,

the world will begin to meet you there.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
----
This Black Friday, I’m offering $4,500 worth of live training
on the most critical skills necessary to create a Trigger-Proof relationship in 2025.

It’s live on zoom, with 1:1 support, and transformative at home tools for under $400.

This isn’t for everyone. It’s for those ready to:

Expand their capacity for emotional discomfort.
Face their triggers instead of avoiding them.
Show up in relationships as their secure, magnetic, adult ...

375 قسمت

Fear of Abandonment Resolved

Trigger Proof Transmissions (Cyclebreaker Collective)

published حدود یک سال پیش

اشتراک گذاری

MP3•خانه قسمت

Curtis is a good-looking dude.

When I see his Instagram videos—shirt off, abs on display—

I admit I get a pang of jealousy. My dad bod under this shirt doesn’t compare.

But looks only get you so far.

Despite having no problem attracting women, Curtis faced one consistent issue:

He got friend-zoned.

Within months. Like clockwork.

He did all the “work.”
Facilitated under the great John Demartini.
Attended therapy, coaching, cognitive training—you name it.

But none of it mattered.

Because once a deep attachment was formed,

usually after months of sex, the same nightmare played out:

The triggers would come roaring back.

Unanswered Texts or Calls: He’d spiral into anxiety,
getting pushy or needy, triggering her to withdraw.
Emotional Distance: Her need for space made him feel rejected,
and he’d show up controlling, amplifying the very thing he feared.
Ambiguity in Commitment: His pressure for clarity
triggered her to pull away, leaving him feeling abandoned.
Conflict: Instead of holding his ground,
he’d fawn and people-please, erasing his own self-worth
and repelling her further.
Her Focus on Others: A harmless shift in attention—
from him to her friends, work, or hobbies—
would send him into a tailspin of jealousy and insecurity.

And here’s the kicker:

No matter how much therapy, coaching,

or self-help he consumed,

the fear of abandonment still ran the show.

Every woman. Every time.

At 39, successful in his career

but feeling like a complete failure in love,

Curtis hit rock bottom.

He realized:

He was chasing unhealthy,
unavailable partners while pushing away the secure ones.
His unresolved fear of abandonment
was controlling his every move.
He was abandoning himself in every relationship,
chasing validation like his life depended on it.

When Curtis came to the Overview Experience,

it zapped him like a neon sign:

This need for external validation wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t a character flaw.

It was a wound.

A wound he was finally ready to face.

For the first time, he:

Got out of his head and into his body.
Healed his attachment wounds and learned to self-regulate his emotions.
Stopped chasing validation and started owning his self-worth.

Within weeks, Curtis connected with a healthy,

secure woman he had previously ghosted—

a relationship he had walked away from

because it didn’t trigger the familiar anxiety he mistook for “chemistry.”

This time, he leaned in.

He faced his fear of abandonment and alchemized it without letting it control him.
He turned conflict into intimacy instead of shutting down or fawning.
He stopped running on anxiety fumes and started showing up as his grounded, secure self.

Now?

They plan their future together, naturally and without pressure.
Their triggers are moments of growth, not chaos.
Their relationship is a source of joy, not anxiety.

When he gets triggered, he knows exactly how to resolve it,
and show up as his healthy masculine magnetic adult self.
(Here’s a share in the community training when he described the shift)

Curtis no longer lives in the fear of “friend zones” or failed relationships.

Instead, he co-creates a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and security.

This is the transformation that happens when you become Trigger-Proof.

He realized that he left one stone unturned:

Becoming Trigger-Proof to his Fear of Abandonment.
No matter who the person was he was dating,
it was his fear of unresolved fear of abandonment that was
in the drivers seat.

During the Overview Experience he saw it clearly,
like a neon sign pointing him to the promised land.

This need for external validation wasn’t even his:
It was something he was born into.

It wasn’t a character flaw.

There was nothing wrong with him.

Within weeks of shifting the frame back into his own body,
his own experience,
Healing his attachment wounds,

he connected with a healthy and secure woman
that over a year ago he ghosted because it didn’t bring up the same
familiar anxiety levels as the unhealthy Trauma Bonded ones he was used to…

and they began the journey together.

Within 2 months of dating he knew she was his person.

And for the first time,
he showed up in a way where she was also “all in”.

He was willing to lean into the fear of abandonment triggers
that naturally pop up, and use them to resource himself further.

He was willing to use his new found skills of turning conflict into deeper intimacy.

Their relationship grows deeper every day,
and his relationship no longer runs on Anxiety fumes.

They plan together.

They envision their future together.
No more “wondering.”
No more “friend zone” or ambiguity.

Their relationship unfolds naturally,
without pressure, without control.

They navigate life’s challenges
without spiraling into fear or self-doubt.

Triggers become opportunities for deeper intimacy,
not signs of failure.

This is what it means to co-create a Trigger-Proof relationship:

To stop chasing.
To stop pining and waiting.
To stop abandoning yourself for connection.

And for the first time, you’re open to receiving it.

No more addiction to chaos.
No more pursuit of validation.
No more mistaking anxiety for love.

Imagine what that would feel like.

It happened for Curtis.
It happened for me.
And it can happen for you.

Man or woman,
it doesn’t matter.

But it starts with one decision:

To stop living by patterns that weren’t yours to begin with.
To rewire what didn’t start with you.
To de-condition the beliefs that have kept you stuck.

If you’ve felt trapped in the same cycles—
chasing, overthinking, losing yourself in relationships—this is your moment.

2025 is your year.

Because no one is coming to save you but you.

And the moment you decide to step into your power,

the world will begin to meet you there.

Your wingman on the adventure,
Nima
----
This Black Friday, I’m offering $4,500 worth of live training
on the most critical skills necessary to create a Trigger-Proof relationship in 2025.

It’s live on zoom, with 1:1 support, and transformative at home tools for under $400.

This isn’t for everyone. It’s for those ready to:

Expand their capacity for emotional discomfort.
Face their triggers instead of avoiding them.
Show up in relationships as their secure, magnetic, adult ...

375 قسمت

All episodes

1
Signs You’re Projecting 2:34

۳ روز پیش2:34

2:34

"She's just doing it for attention." "He's so arrogant." "They think they're better than everyone else." If you have ever caught yourself making these snap judgments about others, consider this: Those judgments aren't really about the other person at all. What if they're actually about the parts of yourself you've been conditioned to reject? This insight might be the most transformative relationship principle I've ever discovered – and the most uncomfortable to face. It’s my favorite part of my intuitive Blind Spot Calls. I love watching people’s faces when I hold up a mirror. I call it "The Dark Passenger" principle. Here's how it works: From early childhood, we're taught which emotions are "acceptable" and which are "bad." For many high-achievers, emotions like jealousy, envy, anger, or neediness were labeled as inappropriate, selfish, or even shameful. Good kids don't get jealous. Successful people don't need validation. Strong individuals don't feel insecure. So think about it– what happens to these emotions when we feel them? Do they simply disappear because we've decided they're unacceptable? Not even close. Instead, they get banished to the shadow – the unconscious repository of all the parts of ourselves we've disowned. Out of sight, but far from gone. This creates what I call our "Dark Passenger" – the collection of disowned emotions and traits that still affect our behavior, but from the shadows. And here's where it gets fascinating: The emotions we most strongly reject in ourselves become the exact things we most harshly judge in others. Let me share a common example: Picture a successful, accomplished woman who prides herself on her intelligence, work ethic, and character. She's built her identity around these qualities rather than physical appearance. What happens when she encounters a younger, conventionally attractive woman who seems comfortable with her sexuality and receiving attention for her looks? Often, an immediate judgment forms: "She's just using her looks to get ahead." "She's so shallow." "She's just trying to get attention." But what's really happening beneath the surface? The accomplished woman is experiencing envy or jealousy – natural human emotions. But since she's learned these feelings are "bad" or "inappropriate," she can't acknowledge them, even to herself. Instead, her mind quickly constructs a story about the other woman that helps her avoid facing her own uncomfortable emotions. This pattern doesn't just apply to appearances. It shows up everywhere: The leader who criticizes a colleague for being "too ambitious" might be disowning their own competitive nature The person who judges others for "seeking attention" might be suppressing their own need for recognition The partner who accuses others of dishonesty might be disconnected from their own capacity for deception This “shadow projection” creates a double burden: First, it prevents authentic connection with others because we're relating to our projections, not the actual person. Second, and perhaps more painfully, it disconnects us from parts of ourselves – leaving us fragmented and incomplete. And down right resentful. For high-achievers, this pattern creates particular suffering. Many have built their success on a carefully curated self-image that excludes "unacceptable" traits and emotions. The energy required to maintain this partial identity is exhausting. You may excel at work but struggle in intimate relationships. You can manage teams effectively but find yourself bewildered by personal conflicts. You achieve impressive goals but feel a persistent emptiness. These are often symptoms of a fractured relationship with your own wholeness. The cost of this pattern goes beyond just relationship difficulties: Physical health suffers as the body holds the tension of denied emotions Creativity diminishes when substantial energy goes toward maintaining the "acceptable" self Decision-making becomes compromised when you lack access to your full emotional data Leadership effectiveness decreases when you can't recognize your own shadow in workplace dynamics Most damaging of all: without access to your complete self, true intimacy becomes impossible because you’re walking around resentful most of the time. As long as certain aspects of your humanity remain unacceptable to you, you'll find yourself unconsciously pushing away or criticizing people who embody those qualities – often the very ones you're most drawn to. This explains why so many relationships follow a predictable arc from initial attraction to inevitable conflict. We're attracted to people who embody our disowned qualities, then grow to resent those exact same traits. Luckily, there’s an alternative to this painful cycle. It begins with a radical shift in how we relate to our "Dark Passenger." Instead of banishing uncomfortable emotions and traits, we learn how to dance with them. This doesn't mean acting on every emotion or indulging every impulse. It means acknowledging the full spectrum of your humanity – including the parts you've been taught to reject. What might this look like in practice? Imagine the successful woman from our earlier example encountering that younger, attractive woman. Instead of judgment, she might practice something revolutionary: Internal honesty: "I'm feeling jealous right now, and that's okay." Curiosity rather than judgment: "What does this reaction tell me about my own relationship with beauty and attention?" Integration instead of projection: "This is about me, not her." The most courageous might even transform the encounter entirely: "When you walked by, I noticed how gorgeous you look. To be honest, I felt a flash of envy because you're radiant. My mind wanted to make up a story about you to protect myself from those feelings, but the truth is, you're beautiful, and that's wonderful." This level of authentic communication seems almost unimaginable in our current culture. But it represents the gateway to a profound form of freedom – the freedom to be fully human without shame or pretense. This is what it means to be Trigger-Proof. This is the embodiment of being a secure human being. Not the absence of difficult emotions, but the capacity to acknowledge them without being controlled by ...…

1
Why Betrayal Feels Like Death 2:46

۷ روز پیش2:46

2:46

Have you ever noticed how a certain trigger can instantly collapse your sense of self? One moment you're confident and clear. The next – in the presence of that trigger – It’s like you get a flashback… and become a different version of yourself. Smaller. Reactive. Disconnected from your power. This pattern has a name: Incomplete individuation. And it might be the invisible force keeping you trapped in painful relationship cycles – especially including the aftermath of betrayal. I was recently reviewing a conversation about individuation that resonated deeply with many high achievers in my community. The insight was profound: "It's not you I'm trying to run away from. It's the fear of losing myself because I can't have myself when I'm with you." For those who find this familiar, consider how this pattern might show up in your life: Perhaps you're highly successful professionally – making decisions confidently, leading teams effectively, navigating complex situations with ease. Yet in certain personal relationships, something shifts. Your boundaries dissolve. Your clarity fades. Your authentic voice becomes muted. You might find yourself thinking: "Why do I keep attracting the same type of partner?" or "Why do I become a different person in certain relationships?" The answer often lies in our earliest relationships – with our parents or primary caregivers. Here's what many people discover when exploring this pattern: There are typically two paths of incomplete individuation: The first is idealization. Perhaps one parent was placed on a pedestal – seen as perfect, infallible, the source of all wisdom and validation. Their approval became essential for your sense of worth. The second is persistent resentment. Maybe you defined yourself in opposition to a parent – "I'll never be like them" – yet find yourself unconsciously recreating similar dynamics in your relationships– or to your horror: Becoming just like them. In both cases, the result is the same: you haven't fully separated your sense of self from these primary relationships. One woman I recently spoke to during an intuitive blind spot session was still identifying as “the black sheep” and had a tough edge to her– and couldn’t see that she was reaffirming this identity almost daily. All this came up after her husband’s affair. This becomes particularly painful after experiencing betrayal in adult relationships. When betrayal occurs, it doesn't just wound the present relationship. It activates every unresolved attachment wound from your past. The pain feels unbearable because it's not just about what happened now – it's about every time you've felt abandoned, unseen, or betrayed since childhood. And here's the cruel irony for intelligent folks: The very traits that make you successful in your career can mask this wound. Your ability to compartmentalize. Your skill at managing emotions. Your focus on achievement rather than feelings. These coping mechanisms work brilliantly in professional contexts. But in intimate relationships– they can keep you trapped in cycles of disconnection. The physical experience of this pattern is unmistakable: That tightness in your chest when certain people call. The flashbacks of betrayal when you go to a restaurant. The way your voice changes around specific family members. The sudden brain fog when faced with conflict in close relationships. The inexplicable anxiety before holiday gatherings. Your body knows the truth before your mind acknowledges it. A client of mine – a successful executive who had experienced a devastating betrayal in her marriage – described it perfectly: "I can command a boardroom of fifty people without breaking a sweat. But sitting across from my husband in therapy? I literally couldn't find my words. It was like I became a child again – desperate for approval, terrified of abandonment." This wasn't just about her husband's betrayal. It was about a lifetime of incomplete individuation that made the betrayal feel like dying inside. Because when we haven't fully individuated, betrayal doesn't just feel like losing a relationship. It feels like losing ourselves. Here's where it gets even more painful: This pattern doesn't just affect our romantic relationships. It shows up in how we parent. In our friendships. In our professional relationships with authority figures. And until we address it, we remain vulnerable to people who – consciously or unconsciously – exploit this wound. The person who can't set boundaries with an unreasonable boss. The partner who tolerates infidelity because "at least he comes home to me." The friend who abandons their needs the moment conflict arises. All are showing signs of incomplete individuation. For high achievers, this pattern creates a particularly painful paradox: The more successful you become externally, the more disconnected you may feel internally. You build empires while your sense of self remains fragile. You manage millions while struggling to manage your own emotions. You advise others while doubting your own instincts in relationships. I know this pattern intimately because I lived it. At 43 years old – after another failed relationship – I realized I hadn't truly individuated from my parents. Despite decades of personal development work, I was still caught in those early patterns. So I did something radical: I moved back in with them. At rock bottom. With my tail between my legs. Not to regress, but to finally grow up. To learn to be fully myself in their presence. To love them without needing them to be different. To stand in my truth without collapsing or attacking. It was the hardest work I've ever done. And the most necessary. And here's what I discovered: True individuation isn't about cutting people off (though sometimes temporary distance is needed for clarity). True individuation is being able to say: "I can be around you and not lose myself." This is the foundation of all healthy relationships – and the key to healing after betrayal. Because when you're fully individuated: * Betrayal still hurts – but it doesn't destroy your sense of self * Conflict feels manageable – not world-ending * You can love without abandoning your own needs * You can set boundaries without fear of rejection * You can stay present during emotional flashbacks and dissolve them quickly. This capacity transforms not just how you relate to others, but how you relate to yourself. The path to this freedom isn't quick or easy. But it is possible. It begins with recognizing the patterns that have kept you bound to old relationships – whether through idealization or resentment. It continues as you learn to stay connected to yourself when those old patterns get triggered. And it culminates in a profound realization: that your worth and wholeness were never dependent on anyone else's validation or betrayal. They were always, already yours. Your wingman on the adventure, Nima (I stand for healed families) ___________________________________________________ P.S. If this message resonated with you, and you're ready to explore how incomplete individuation might be affecting your relationships (especially after betrayal), I may be able to help. I'm offering a limited number of I...…

1
What Is Individuation And Why We Need To Do It 2:01

۵ weeks پیش2:01

2:01

There's a particular frustration many people experience on their healing journey. They've done extensive work on themselves. Read the books on attachment theory. Attended the workshops on communication. Polarity programs galore.Invested in the therapy sessions. Mastered the art of recognizing their patterns. Yet somehow, (even the therapists I talk to) many still find themselves: Making decisions based on what others will think Abandoning themselves in relationships to keep the peace Feeling triggered by the same old conflicts, despite their awareness Watching themselves react in ways that sabotage their deepest desires If you resonate with this experience, there's often a question that arises: "What's missing? I know in my head what I have to do, I just have no idea how to do it”. The answer is simpler—and more challenging—than most people think. Individuation. It's the critical piece absent from most personal growth work. The threshold one must cross to truly transform relationships. And it's what separates those who understand their patterns from those who actually break them. Here's what this means... Individuation is the psychological process of becoming one's true self outside the expectations of family, culture, and society. It's the hero's journey of separating from the identity constructed to belong and survive in a family system. Consider if any of these scenarios feel familiar: Still seeking parental approval, even if only subtly Hesitating to express truth for fear of disrupting family harmony Difficulty making major life decisions without consulting others first Building a career based on what was expected rather than what was desired Abandoning personal needs to maintain relationships If these scenarios resonate, complete individuation may not have occurred in your life. (And that’s not your fault– because nobody teaches it specifically). And here's the crucial insight most therapists miss: Until individuation happens, people often remain the child who reacts in self-sabotaging ways. This is why knowledge doesn't always translate into change. A person might understand their patterns intellectually. They can name their attachment style. They can identify their triggers. But in the heat of conflict, that intellectual understanding evaporates. The wounded child takes over. And all good intentions vanish. This dynamic plays out repeatedly with high-achieving professionals who excel in their careers but struggle in their personal relationships. The successful executive who can manage multi-million dollar projects but feels paralyzed when setting boundaries with parents or partner. The brilliant attorney who can command a courtroom but shrinks in the presence of a critical mother. The accomplished entrepreneur who built an empire but still seeks validation from a father who never gave it. The undercurrent is always the same: extraordinary success in the external world, persistent struggle in the internal one. Ever wondered why? Because external achievement doesn't automatically create internal freedom. It's possible to climb to the top of a field while still emotionally operating from the programming of childhood. To master the art of leadership while still being led by unconscious patterns. To build financial independence while remaining psychologically dependent. This is why so many outwardly successful people feel like impostors in their own lives. They've built impressive external structures on fragile internal foundations. And the cost can be immense: Relationships that follow the same painful patterns despite different partners A nagging sense of emptiness despite significant achievements Chronic anxiety that no amount of success seems to alleviate A persistent feeling of not being enough, no matter what's accomplished Intimate relationships that are completely sexless that lack intimacy Most painful of all can be the distance between who a person pretends to be and who they truly are. The gap between the persona shown to the world and the authentic self never fully claimed. This is the shadow side of non-individuation. Living someone else's version of life. Making choices from fear rather than freedom. To be clear: Individuation isn't about rejecting family or culture. It's not about rebellion for its own sake. It's about the courage to define oneself beyond the roles assigned. It's about distinguishing between authentic desires and conditioned responses. It's about claiming the authority to author one's own life. And yes, it will almost kill a person in the process. Because individuation requires risking not belonging. It demands facing the terror of potentially being cast out from the tribe that raised them. It asks for stepping into the unknown territory of authentic selfhood without the map a family provided. This is why it's so rare. It's easier to stay comfortable in the familiar discomfort of non-individuation. It's less threatening to repeat patterns than to risk creating new ones. It's safer to remain “the good son or daughter” than to become the authentic adult. But here's what's waiting on the other side: Relationships where showing up as a whole self is possible, not just the acceptable part Decisions made from inner clarity rather than external expectation Freedom from the exhaustion of constantly trying to please others The profound peace that comes from internal alignment This level of transformation isn't achieved through passive learning or intellectual understanding. One can't read their way to individuation. One can't talk their way to individuation. One can't think their way to individuation. It requires active, embodied work that reaches the nervous system where these patterns are stored. It demands creating new experiences— not just new insights—that rewire the sense of self at the most fundamental level. This is the work that changes everything. Not because it gives new information, but because it makes a new person. Not the person parents needed them to be. Not the person culture shaped them to be. Not the person trauma forced them to be. But the person they were born to become. It’s what you’ve been summoned to createin this one life of yours. You got this. Your wingman on the adventure, Nima (I stand for healed families) ________________________________________________________ P.S. For those who resonated with this message and feel ready to uncover their specific individuation blind spots, there's an opportunity for personalized guidance. A limited number of Blind Spot Sessions (valued at $497) are available for those serious about understanding the unique ways non-individuation is affecting their relationships and life choices. In just one 30-minute session, you get to discover: The precise ways your family system still influences your adult decisions Which specific relationships are most affected by your lack of individuation The hidden patterns keeping you tethered to old identities A personalized roadmap for beginning true individuation Unlike books, podcasts, or t...…

1
How to Interrupt the Fawn Response 46:14

۶ weeks پیش46:14

46:14

Fawning as a trauma response is something I see so often in my work-people saying yes when they mean no, over-accommodating to avoid conflict, and ultimately losing themselves in the process. I know this pattern well because I've lived it, and breaking free from it changed everything for me. In this conversation with Michelle Chalafant, I dive deep into the roots of fawning, how it's ingrained in cultural conditioning, and why it leads to resentment and burnout. More importantly, I share how to recognize when you're caught in this cycle and the steps to reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and start living from a place of true self-worth. If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, self-abandonment, or the fear of disappointing others, this conversation will give you a new lens to see what's really going on-and how to change it. Take a listen and let me know what stands out for you. #HowtoHealTrauma #StopAbandoningYourself #StopSelfAbandonment #consciousgrowth #consciousrecovery #conscioustransformation #empoweredhealing #empoweredliving #growthmindset #healingperspectives #identityhealing #identityreclaim #identityrestoration #nurturinghealing #nurturingself #overcomingvictimhood #positiveperspectives #selfcompassion #shiftingperspectives #victimmentality #victimrecovery #vulnerabilityinhealing #vulnerableself ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Attachment Style Quiz: https://go.drnima.com/0fn1i ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P.S. If this message struck a chord, and you're tired of the endless cycle of hope and disappointment in your relationships, I'm offering a limited number of Blind Spot Sessions (valued at $497) for those who are truly ready to transform. This isn't therapy. It's not about rehashing your past or learning more techniques. It's about identifying the precise blind spots keeping you trapped in the loop of doom. This is for FREE for the right person. To be considered, DM with: Your backstory (relationship patterns, key challenges) What you've already tried that hasn't worked What you hope to achieve through this work Finish with: "Nima, can I please get a link to your private calendar?" Only respond if you're ready to look in the mirror, not the magnifying glass. The truth will set you free, but first, it might piss you off.…

1
𝗪𝗛𝗬 𝗪𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗡 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗡𝗔𝗥𝗖𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗖 𝗠𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 2:06

۶ weeks پیش2:06

2:06

Are you tired of attracting narcissistic men into your life, only to find yourself stuck in a cycle of toxic relationships? It's time to break free from this pattern and discover the underlying reasons why you keep attracting these types of men. In this video, we'll explore how unresolved trauma and poor emotional regulation can lead to a lack of healthy limits and boundaries, making you more susceptible to narcissistic abuse. By understanding the importance of nervous system regulation, polarity healing, and mindful living, you'll learn how to set resilient boundaries that empower you to create safe and authentic connections. Take the first step towards personal empowerment and join me on this journey of self-discovery and growth: Free attachment style quiz link: https://go.drnima.com/0fn1i…

1
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 1:46

۷ weeks پیش1:46

1:46

Why do you keep choosing toxic partners? It’s not just about attracting them—it’s about being attracted to them. This deep-rooted pattern stems from unresolved anxious attachment and a fear of abandonment. In this short but powerful video, I break down how your avoidant tendencies push away your emotions, creating a blind spot that keeps you stuck in unhealthy relationships. Watch now to uncover the truth and break free from toxic cycles! 🔔 Subscribe for more insights on relationships, attachment styles, and personal growth! 📢 Share this with someone who needs to hear it! #AbandonmentIssues #AnxietyRecovery #AnxiousAttachment #ConsciousLove #ConsciousPartnerships #ConsciousRelationships #CouplesTherapy #EmotionalRegulation #FeminineEnergy #FeminineEssence #FeminineFlow #Gaslighting #GenderPolarity #LovePolarity #MindfulPartnerships #NervousSystemRegulation #PersonalEmpowerment #Polarity #PolarityPlay #PolarityTherapy #RelationshipEnhancement #RelationshipMastery #RelationshipPolarity #SelfAwareness #ToxicCycles…

1
From Soulmates To Cellmates: The Dark Side of Love 2:04

۸ weeks پیش2:04

2:04

In this video, we explore the phenomenon where initial 'soulmate' connections transform into confining 'cellmate' relationships. Discover how powerful first impressions can sometimes be rooted in unresolved traumas, leading to patterns that mirror our primary attachments. By understanding trauma bonds, we can break free from these cycles and foster healthier, secure relationships. Join us as we discuss the journey from recognizing these patterns to achieving personal healing and building fulfilling connections. Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month) Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.…

1
What is Projection and how it shows up in relationships 2:24

۹ weeks پیش2:24

2:24

If there was one thing I wished more people struggling with conflict in relationships understood, it’s this: IT’S NEVER ABOUT WHAT IT’S ABOUT. The disagreement? It’s only the tip of the iceberg. What’s really happening is something much deeper— a projection, like a movie playing on a screen. But the drama isn’t on the screen. It’s inside the projector—YOU. You know the cycle, don’t you. The same arguments on repeat, like a bad playlist you can’t escape. The rising tension that makes you feel unseen, unheard, and powerless. The emotional meltdowns that leave you drained, questioning if love is supposed to feel this heavy. You’ve tried everything—calm conversations, walking away, maybe even couples therapy. But nothing sticks. The same wounds keep showing up, dressed in different clothes. It’s exhausting. You’ve wondered: “Why do they keep doing this?” “Why can’t I just find someone who gets me?” “Is it me? Am I the problem?” And here’s the truth you don’t want to hear but need to: Yes, it’s you (like the Taylor Swift song). But not in the way you think. This is the essence of “Projections" in relationships. Every time you’re triggered, two hidden dynamics are at play: Projection 1: “Just Like When” That trait in your partner—their tone, their distance, their bossiness— that sets you off-- It’s a carbon copy of someone from your past (you know who I’m talking about). Maybe it’s your partner’s dismissiveness that echoes your mother’s silent treatment. Or their criticism that feels eerily like your father’s impossible standards. You’re not fighting your partner. You’re fighting a ghost. Projection 2: “Just Like Me” This confronts many people at the Overview Experience Training: The thing you can’t stand in them— It’s a mirror to a part of yourself you’ve disowned or stuffed away, or rejected. Example: Their neediness makes you furious because you’ve buried your own parts that are anxious and needy. Their jealousy drives you mad because it reflects your own insecurities. This is why conflict feels so raw— it’s not just about the relationship. It’s about the unresolved parts of you. This is why having the courage to look at your own shadows is so magical. Imagine this: Instead of avoiding conflict, you lean into it as a tool for growth. Arguments stop feeling like emotional landmines and start becoming opportunities for intimacy. You no longer chase love, approval, or security. You become it. When you learn how to “integrate" these two projections, everything changes: You stop blaming your partner for your triggers. You reclaim your power and become the secure partner you’ve been searching for. You create a relationship where love feels like peace, not chaos. Try This: Shadow Work in Action Here’s a simple exercise to take your first step: Pause. Take a deep breath the next time you’re triggered. Reflect. Ask yourself: “Who does this remind me of?” “What’s the first memory this situation brings up?” You will notice that this frustration is a reflection, just like when you were younger in a similar dynamic. You’re replaying it as a chance to heal. Then pick up the mirror. Now ask: “What trait in them might actually be a reflection of me?” “Where do I do the same in my own flavor?” "What part of myself am I rejecting right now?” Write your answers down when you’re reflecting. This is where things begin to shift. Imagine waking up each day, no longer held hostage by your triggers. No more arguments spiraling into chaos. No more chasing approval or fearing abandonment. Instead, you approach conflict with clarity and grace. You stand grounded in your truth—without anger, without fear. You create relationships that feel like a safe haven, not a battlefield. When you put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror, something extraordinary happens: You stop waiting for someone else to change, and you become the catalyst for transformation. This is the power of becoming Trigger-Proof. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up authentically, owning your story, and learning to repair when things go off track. Because the quality of your relationships shapes the quality of your life— and you hold the key to both. This pattern didn’t start with you, but with the right tools, the power is in your hands for it to end with you. Your guide in breaking the cycle, Nima ------ P.S. If this podcast resonates, and you’re ready to stop losing yourself in relationships… I’m offering a free Blind Spot Intuitive Session ($497 value) to those who are serious about breaking free from this cycle and creating secure, thriving relationships. On this session, we’ll identify the exact unconscious patterns keeping you stuck in enmeshment and map out how to reclaim your independence without losing your connection. But here’s the catch: This is only for those who can follow instructions, and aren’t going to be too offended by some critical feedback. If you’re ready to see your blind spots and make the changes that will shift your love life, DM with your back story and what your situation has been like how this has been impacting your work what therapies and modalities you’ve tried to resolve it And finish the reponse with “Nima can I get a link to your private calendar?” and if I think I can help you from the back story you provided, I’ll send you a link to my calendar. Let’s break the cycle, together.…

1
How Dads Help Build Secure Attachments in Children 1:45

13 weeks پیش1:45

1:45

I was talking with Dr. Russ about parenting, and something hit me like a ton of bricks: Our kids don’t just inherit our genes— they inherit our patterns. Let that sink in for a moment. Your child doesn’t just pick up your smile or your laugh. They pick up your unresolved wounds, your triggers, and the ways you’ve learned (or failed) to self-regulate. If you’ve ever caught your child responding with the same anxiety, frustration, or avoidance you recognize in yourself, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s hard to see a child act out of their own fears, insecurities, and lack of self worth. What’s worse is when you know damn well where they got it from. It’s like looking into a mirror you didn’t ask for. See if any of this resonates: The moments when you see your child shut down during conflict, just like you may do. Or when they explode in frustration, unable to express what they’re feeling— just like you might recognize within yourself. And as parents, we love them so fiercely, but sometimes we find ourselves repeating the very patterns we swore we’d never pass on: Yelling when they don’t listen. Avoiding conflict because we don’t want to feel like the “bad guy.” Over-apologizing or over-explaining because we can’t bear to see them upset. We may catch ourselves and think: Where did that come from? And then it hits: It’s me. It’s all me. That shame can be paralyzing. Tell me if this relates at all. THE ROLE OF A FATHER (AND THE SECRET TO BREAKING THE CYCLE) In my journey as a dad, I’ve had a game-changing realization: My most important job isn’t to teach Dominic how to be secure. IT’S TO MODEL IT. That means learning how to self-regulate so I don’t pass down the anxious and reactive patterns I grew up with. It means showing him, through my actions, what it looks like to be calm, grounded, attuned, present, empathetic, and EMOTIONALLY SAFE parent. It means supporting his mother in every way possible so she can pour into him from a full battery. The early years of his life are critical, not just for him, but for me too. If I want to raise a child who feels secure, loved, and capable, I have to do the inner work to become the man who models those things. Because here’s the truth: Kids don’t listen to what you say. THEY ABSORB WHO YOU ARE. As adults, we all carry the wounds of our childhood— unmet needs, unresolved emotions, and the patterns we learned to survive. When we become parents, we either: Heal those wounds, so our kids don’t inherit them. Or we pass them on, unconsciously repeating the cycle. And let’s be honest: Unless you had Unicorn parents, No one taught us how to do this. How to navigate big emotions, set elegant boundaries, or face our shadows. But we have a choice. One Simple Practice Here’s something I’ve been doing to shift the energy in my home: When Dominic has a meltdown or an emotional outburst, and I feel myself getting rattled, I pause and ask myself: “What am I making this mean about me?” This question alone shifts me into my “observer” consciousness. And I can quickly assess: Am I reacting from my own anxiety, frustration, or unresolved pain? Or am I holding space for him to feel seen, safe, and understood? It’s not easy, and I don’t always get it right. But every time I pause, I break the pattern just a little bit more. Here’s what I’ve learned: The greatest gift you can give your child isn’t toys, opportunities, or a private education. IT’S A REGULATED, SELF-LOVING PARENT. When you learn to meet your own needs, navigate your emotions, and set elegant boundaries, you create a ripple effect. Your kids grow up feeling safe to be themselves because they’re not absorbing your unresolved chaos. You stop passing down the patterns that kept you stuck— and you start raising a child who knows their worth, trusts their voice, a nd feels at home in their own skin. This is the promise: You CAN break the cycle. No matter how messy or overwhelming it feels right now, healing is always possible. Standing in unwavering belief in your capacity, Your wingman on the adventure, Nima _______________________________________________ If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing these patterns— for yourself, your partner, and your kids— I’ve got something special coming up. Starting next month, I’m leading a 3-week journey called “From Chaos to Connection: A Shadow Work Experience.” This immersive mini-course is being run in February and will help you: Understand the hidden dynamics in your relationships— with your partner, kids, and most importantly, yourself. Break free from the cycles of conflict and disconnection by uncovering and integrating your shadow. Learn how to create safety and connection in your home, starting with YOU. This isn’t just another personal development course. It’s a deep dive into the unseen forces driving your relationship patterns— so you can stop the chaos and start building a life of authentic connection and freedom. If you’d like to know more, comment with: “I’m ready to break the cycle.” I’ll send you all the details, including dates, times, and what you’ll learn in each week of the course. Spots are limited to 20, and message goes out to more than 80,000 people. This mini course is designed for people who are serious about creating real change. Let’s make this the moment where the cycle ends—and the connection begins. With love and belief in your power to shift, Nima…

1
How I Became Emotionally Trigger-Proof: Shoshanna's Transformation Story 2:25

14 weeks پیش2:25

2:25

If you’ve spent years on personal growth— books, seminars, courses, even therapy— and still find yourself struggling with the same patterns, you’re not alone. I know this because I was there too. Landmark. NLP. Polarity courses. Masculine/Feminine communication workshops. Byron Katie. John Demartini. You name it, I’d tried it. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars chasing transformation, convinced that if I could just fix myself enough, I’d finally feel worthy, confident, and free— and have a healthy relationship with someone I wasn’t so avoidant with. What I didn’t know: None of these cognitive methods ever taught me how to break free from the deeper, more invisible chains— the ones I couldn’t think or talk my way out of. The ones that were there long before I had the language to describe it. They didn’t teach me how to process my anger, disappointment, or frustration in real time — without reacting and making things worse. They didn’t teach me the difference between my intuition and a trauma response. They didn’t teach me how to respond to the chaos in my relationships instead of getting sucked into it. And they definitely didn’t teach me how to break free from the grip of codependency, trauma bonds and enmeshment. It wasn’t until I stepped back and asked a critical question: Why is all this personal development still leaving me stuck in the same emotional loops? The answer was shocking. Because I was trying to learn these skills the wrong way. I had a critical piece that was missing: Embodiment practice. It’s like trying to teach firefighters how to battle a blaze by handing them a book or having them vent in a therapy session. Sure, the theory might make sense— but when the heat is on, theory won’t put out the flames. What firefighters need are fire drills. They need to practice—over and over again— until responding with poise to a fire becomes second nature. The same is true for relationships, emotional regulation, and healing attachment wounds especially where codependency is concerned. This is what so many of us have been missing: the nuance, the subtle distinctions, the embodied practice. You can’t just read about secure relationships or watch a video on emotional regulation and expect your nervous system to magically fall in line. These are high level SKILLS— and they must be practiced in real time, much like a dance. You can’t learn the Tango from a podcast. You have to feel your way through it, making adjustments, stumbling, and finding your rhythm until it becomes natural. That’s the missing piece most personal development programs and weekly talk therapy sessions don’t address. ShoSho's story is a perfect example. She had done it all—Landmark, coaching, seminars, and still found herself feeling like she was crawling through a desert. She described her nervous system as being in a constant state of hypervigilance, consumed by global anger and self-doubt. Anything you try to learn under that context doesn’t quite land, does it. “I didn’t realize how much of my life was being run by unprocessed emotions,” she said. “This course was like a buffet of well-curated, nutrient-dense items I didn’t know I needed but had been starving for.” Through the work, ShoSho didn’t just learn new concepts. She rewired her nervous system, discovered how to process her emotions instead of shutting them down or being consumed by them, integrated her shadows, and met the parts of herself she was using courses and seminars to try to destroy, and as a result she was able to build the capacity to respond to life’s challenges without losing herself. Her relationship with her aging mother completely shifted. She stopped using personal growth as a covert form of self-hate and started practicing compassion, self regulation, and connection— things no book or seminar could teach her. This is the work of becoming Trigger-Proof. When you take this step: You stop reacting from autopilot and start creating relationships built on connection and safety. You learn to hold space for your emotions— and those of your loved ones—without being consumed by them. And you finally experience the peace and freedom that comes with breaking free from the cycle of chaos and codependency. Most importantly, you don’t just change your life— you create a ripple effect. You transform the way your loved ones experience you, and you model what’s possible for those around you. The greatest gift you can give your children, your partner, and yourself isn’t perfection—it’s self-love. It’s the courage to meet your darker parts with compassion, to navigate your emotions with grace, and to rewrite the story of your worth. This isn’t about fixing what’s broken; it’s about remembering who you are beneath the conditioning, the self-doubt, and the fear. It’s about stepping into an identity that no longer reacts to life on autopilot but instead responds with purpose, presence, and love. It’s not easy. But it is possible. Because healing isn’t a destination—it’s a practice. It’s choosing, moment by moment, to show up for yourself, to focus inward instead out outward, and to trust that transformation isn’t just a dream—it’s a spiritual process. If you’ve felt stuck, frustrated, or unworthy, and thinking that you’ve “tried everything”, I want you to know this: the path forward is real, and it’s waiting for you. Your wingman on the adventure, Nima ________________________________________________________ P.S. If you’re resonating with this message, and you’ve been spinning your wheels, trying everything you can think of to break free from old patterns, it’s time to take a different approach. I love talking to those who feel aligned with this depth of work. I’m listening. I offer an intuitive Blind Spot Call each week— a 30-minute session designed to help: Identify the hidden patterns and triggers keeping you stuck. Learn why cognitive methods alone haven’t worked—and what will. Map out a clear path to becoming Trigger-Proof, so you can create the relationships and life you deserve. Normally $...…

1
Where Our Dysfunctional Relationship With Our Emotions Come From 2:53

14 weeks پیش2:53

2:53

Parents who admit to already having a dysfunctional relationship with their own emotions, have been asking me about their challenges with their children. This led me to want to bring something to your attention if you’re a parent who cares about raising healthy and resilient children. When your child comes to you with tears in their eyes, do you find yourself saying, “You’re fine, don’t cry”? When they act out, do you catch yourself losing patience—or even control? When they’re scared or angry, do you struggle to just sit with them without trying to fix it? These are the moments that define their inner world. Without knowing it, most of us have been conditioned to create a dysfunctional relationship with our own emotions— and are passing it down to our kids. Look in the past few months at the space within your home. Is your home a space of safety, or is it more like a battlefield? It’s not intentional. No parent wants this. But when we are reactive from our own unhealed wounds, the home becomes a place of tension, disconnection, and unpredictable emotions. And kids-- They absorb it. Every bit of it. What happens when kids grow up in homes without emotional safety? They learn to doubt themselves, just like we do. Anxiety: They start FEARING their emotions because no one taught them how to handle fear. Self-doubt: They question their worth because they never felt truly seen or valued. Emotional suppression: They hide their feelings because they see us doing the same— or worse, because we told them to. And they grow up with beliefs like: “I’m too much.” “If I cry, I’m weak.” “My feelings are a burden.” “To be loved, I have to be perfect.” These aren’t just thoughts—they become identities. If you can relate to them, and haven’t sorted them out, chances are you’re unknowingly passing it down to the next generation. Generations of us were raised on dismissive parenting practices. “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” “You’re fine. Don’t be so dramatic.” “That’s nothing to be scared of.” “STOP BEING SO ANGRY." We were taught—directly or indirectly— that emotions are problems to fix, not experiences to feel. Zero tolerance for frustration, sadness, or fear, so we try to protect them from it— unknowingly setting them up to be fragile, with no self worth or self trust. Can you relate to feeling this way with the same challenges? And now, despite our best intentions, we’re unconsciously teaching our kids the same thing. We model it in the way we suppress our sadness or numb our anger. We react to their big emotions because we’ve never learned how to handle our own. We perpetuate the belief that emotions make us weak. And it’s no wonder: We didn’t learn how to become Trigger-Proof. Now, add this to the mix: Kids today are being raised on screens that hijack their nervous systems with endless dopamine. TikTok. Instagram. YouTube. They’re overstimulated, emotionally dysregulated, and starving for connection. If we, as parents, aren’t regulated ourselves, we can’t create the safety they need to navigate this world. And without safety, kids are left to fend for themselves in a storm of self-doubt, anxiety, and disconnection. It’s not hereditary—it’s conditioning. The Opportunity: The greatest gift you can give your child is a self-loving parent. (Read that again). When you heal your own attachment wounds, you break the cycle. When you learn how to regulate your nervous system, your kids feel safer with you. Their truth becomes safer with you, so their connection with themselves (and you) becomes stronger. When you create safety in your own emotions, you create safety in your home. This isn’t about being a perfect parent. It’s about becoming the parent your child needs— a regulated, compassionate, and present one. Imagine raising kids who: Trust their emotions instead of fearing them. Know their worth without questioning it. Feel safe to express themselves without shame. Grow up with a secure identity, unburdened by trauma. That’s what happens when you take the time to heal. When you step into this work, everything changes. You stop reacting and start responding. You create relationships that thrive on connection instead of chaos. You model self-worth, resilience, and emotional intelligence. This work isn’t just for your kids—it’s for you. Because you deserve to live in a home that feels like a sanctuary, not a battlefield. And you have the power to make it happen. Your wingman on the adventure. Nima __________________________________________________________________ P.S. If this message resonates, and you’re ready to break the cycle and create a home where your children feel safe, secure, and seen, let’s talk. A Blind Spot Call is a 30-minute session designed to help you: Identify how your childhood conditioning is affecting your parenting. Understand why your reactions are impacting your home dynamic— and how to shift them. Gain clarity on how to break the cycle of reactivity and create a family environment rooted in connection. Normally $497, this session is FREE for those who qualify. Here’s what to do next: Comment or DM with your story—what’s your biggest challenge as a parent right now? Share what you’ve already tried and what you’d love to create for your family. End your response with: “Nima, can I have your private calendar link?” This could be the moment you stop reacting and start leading your family into a brighter, more secure home they can model themselves after. Your guide on the side, Nima…

1
What Secure Relationships Feel Like 1:29

15 weeks پیش1:29

1:29

It’s sad. Truly sad. Most people wouldn’t recognize a secure relationship if it showed up with a neon sign saying, “No Drama Here.” Why? Because when all you’ve known is trauma bonds, longing, and anxiety, push and pull, you start mistaking chaos for connection, and secure love will be too uncomfortable, and you’ll push it away. That intensity you feel? The rollercoaster highs and crushing lows? The chase, the drama, the “what did I do wrong now” spiral? You think that’s love. But it’s not. It’s your nervous system reliving old wounds, repeating the only patterns it’s ever known. Here’s what’s interesting: If all you’ve known are relationships where you’re walking on eggshells, bracing for the next fight, or chasing scraps of affection, a secure relationship will feel foreign— maybe even boring. But boring isn’t the problem. It’s your conditioning. If the relationships you grew up watching were trauma bonds, if your parents didn’t know how to communicate, if boundaries were nonexistent or weaponized… Then, of course, you wouldn’t recognize what secure love looks like. Your nervous system has been conditioned to equate longing with love and emotional unavailability with chemistry. So, what happens? You crave the familiar—even if it hurts. You chase the excitement—even if it drains you. You dismiss the calm, healthy connection because it feels foreign— even suspicious. And so, the cycle repeats: You ignore red flags. You cling to people who can’t show up for you. You end up giving more than you’re receiving. Because that’s what you’ve learned to expect from love. But here’s the good news: That’s just conditioning. And conditioning can be rewired. What does a secure relationship even look like? It’s not about perfection. It’s about peace. Here’s how you’ll know: You feel safe to express your needs and feelings. There’s no fear of judgment, punishment, or rejection. You’re not constantly walking on eggshells. Disagreements don’t feel like the end of the world. You both give and receive love freely. Without games, manipulation, or scorekeeping. You can rely on your partner, and they can rely on you. It’s a two-way street, not an uphill battle. Intimacy feels simple—not stressful. Love isn’t a rollercoaster. It’s steady, supportive, and grounding. The truth is, a secure relationship is like learning a new dance or playing a new instrument. It takes practice, guidance, and a willingness to unlearn old patterns. It’s not your fault you don’t know what secure love looks like. But it is your responsibility to learn if you want to break the cycle. So, let me ask you: Will 2025 be the year you stop venting to your therapist and start mastering the high-level attachment skills that make you magnetic to the right partner? Will it be the year you stop mistaking anxiety and longing for love and start healing the codependency that keeps you stuck? Here’s the promise of secure love: When you heal your attachment wounds and regulate your nervous system, you become Trigger-Proof. You stop mistaking drama for connection and begin to experience love as steady, grounding, and real. You don’t just learn how to love— you expand your capacity to BE LOVED. This shift doesn’t just change your relationships. It redefines how you see yourself, how you move through the world, and how you create a life that reflects your true worth. Because here’s the truth: It’s heartbreaking to live a life where secure love feels out of reach. But it’s even more heartbreaking to realize it’s been within your grasp all along. The question you need to ask yourself is “Am I not worthy enough to CLAIM it?" With unwavering belief in your ability to rewrite your story, Your wingman on the adventure, Nima _____________________________________________________________ P.S. If this resonates, and you are ready to uncover what you may have been missing, there’s more gold underneath if you’re willing to look. Here’s the thing: If you’ve never experienced a secure relationship, how could you possibly know what it feels like? That’s what a Blind Spot Call is for. We’ll dive deep to uncover: The blind spots keeping you stuck in unhealthy dynamics. Maybe you’re mistaking longing and anxiety for love. Maybe you’re unknowingly pushing people away while yearning for connection. These patterns aren’t your fault—they’re your conditioning. The energy you’re unknowingly putting out. Your attachment style and unspoken fears shape the dynamics you attract. On these calls, I help you see the signals you’re sending and how they’re keeping you in familiar, painful loops. Practical steps to break the cycle. You’ll leave with clear, actionable insights on what needs to shift to create secure, fulfilling relationships— starting with the relationship you have with yourself. This isn’t about blame. It’s about clarity, accountability, and moving forward. It’s a no-fluff, transformative conversation where you’ll receive honest feedback on what’s really going on. Normally $497, this session is free for those who qualify. Here’s how to grab a spot this week: Comment Or DM with your backstory: What’s your current situation? How is it impacting your life, relationships, and work? Share what you’ve tried so far and what hasn’t worked Tell me where you want to be and why this matters to you. Close with: “Nima, can I have your private calendar link?” These steps above are about showing me you’re ready to uncover what you don’t see and learn how to finally experience the secure, authentic love you deserve. Let’s make 2025 the year you stop chasing the familiar and start creating the relationships you’ve always wanted. Your guide to uncovering the truth, Nima…

1
The One Feeling That Blocks Intimacy And Vulnerability 1:41

15 weeks پیش1:41

1:41

Vulnerability and intimacy. These are the two things most of us crave in relationships, yet they feel as elusive as trying to catch smoke with your hands. Why? Because of one sneaky little feeling that hijacks our connections and blocks our ability to show up authentically: Shame. Shame is the silent saboteur of intimacy. It’s the thing that keeps you from saying what you need, asking for what you want, or setting boundaries without second-guessing yourself for days. Here’s how it plays out: You feel criticized by your partner, and instead of owning your reaction, you deflect it back with a snarky comment. ("I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t…”) They say “no” to you, and instead of hearing it as a boundary, you spiral into a story about rejection. (“See? I’m not enough for you.”) You’ve got feedback to give, but you sugarcoat it so much they don’t even realize you’re upset— or worse, you explode because you’ve let it fester. If you can relate to any of this, you’re not alone. Shame isn’t just a feeling. It’s a wrecking ball. It smashes your capacity for vulnerability. It makes intimacy feel like a distant dream. And it’s the reason why every boundary feels like a personal attack or a rejection. When shame isn’t processed, we treat it like a hot potato. Someone lobs it at us, and instead of holding it, we toss it right back. We get defensive, we gaslight, invalidate, and we blame. The result is pretty devastating. Broken relationships. A long list of “narcissists” you’ve dated. A home that feels like a battlefield, where children are caught in the crossfire. And --a total inability to look in the mirror and ask: “Why am I the perfect person for this dynamic?” This isn’t about victim blaming— so let’s not go there. it’s about UNDERSTANDING. Understanding that shame isn’t your fault. It’s the byproduct of growing up in a world that told you your feelings were too much, your needs were an inconvenience, and your worth was conditional upon “performance" But here’s the interesting part: If you don’t learn to process shame from your biology, it will run your life. It will sabotage every relationship you step into, make intimacy impossible, and keep you stuck in patterns you swore you’d break, turning into your parents. After all— that’s where you inherited your message of shame from. (And you’re passing it down unknowingly to the next generation who’s watching.) Imagine this: You no longer shut down or lash outwhen someone gives you feedback. You can set boundaries without guilt or fear of rejection. You have the capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions without needing to deflect or blame. Vulnerability isn’t scary anymore—it feels like a superpower. This is what happens when you become Trigger-Proof. You stop letting shame run the show. You reclaim the agency you lost as a child. And for the first time, you experience intimacy that feels safe and real. My invitation is for you to not see 2025 as “just another year”. It’s your opportunity to break the cycle. To stop chasing love and start embodying it. To stop blaming and start building. To stop running and finally come home—to yourself. You CAN do this. You simply have to decide that you deserve it. Your wingman on the adventure, Nima _______________________________________________________________________________ P.S. If this hit home, I’m guessing you’re no stranger to the patterns we’ve talked about— the overthinking, the second-guessing, the blaming (them, yourself, or both). But here’s the thing: you don’t have to stay stuck here. If you’re curious and willing to hear feedback, I’m offering an Intuitive Blind Spot Session to help you make sense of the chaos and find your way out. Here’s what we’ll do together: Uncover the hidden patterns that have been sabotaging your relationships. Shine a light on how shame and unresolved wounds are running the show. Map out clear, practical steps to turn your triggers into the transformation you’ve been searching for. This isn’t talk therapy. It’s a 30-minute breakthrough— a safe space to explore the real reasons why you’re stuck and a powerful first step toward breaking free. Normally $497, this session is free for those who qualify. Here’s how to get started: Comment or DM with your story— what’s the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationships? Share what you’ve tried, what worked so far and where you want to be. End your reply with: “Nima, can I have your private calendar link?” Let’s make 2025 the year you finally stop spinning in circles and start creating the love and connection you deserve. Your guide in breaking the cycle, Nima…

1
The Root Of Relationship Breakdowns 1:30

15 weeks پیش1:30

1:30

If you’re paying attention, relationship breakdowns will follow a specific pattern. The same conflict. The same arguments. The same heartbreak. Whether it’s your marriage, your dating life, or even the way you show up for your friends, these breakdowns carry a familiar sting: Feeling like you give too much and get nothing in return. Wondering if you’re "too much" or "not enough." Overthinking every interaction until your mind feels like it’s on a hamster wheel, never stopping. And if you are anything like I was, here’s the hardest part to admit: Deep down, you’re terrified of ending up alone. To end this temporary existence (sorry but it’s true), never having experienced love that feels safe. I was there so I can empathize. And what sucks is that fear keeps you in the same painful cycles. You keep shrinking. You keep giving. You keep trying harder. You keep waiting. But no matter what you do, it feels like your relationships aren’t on a firm, stable ground Why? Because these relationship challenges didn’t start with your partner, or your ex, or even the people in your life right now. They started long before that. They began in the modeling you absorbed as a child. Did your parents avoid conflict at all costs, pretending everything was “fine” until it wasn’t? Did they lash out, leaving you feeling like love was tied to being perfect— or invisible? Or maybe they handled everything behind closed doors, leaving you clueless about what healthy conflict resolution even looks like. Fast-forward to today, and it’s no wonder: Conflict feels like a threat to your very existence. You suppress your feelings and stay silent, hoping to avoid a blow-up. Or, when things feel too much, you push people away, convinced it’s safer to keep your guard up. And the result of all of this avoidance: An inner conflict that eats at you every day. Because when you suppress your truth, you abandon yourself. And that self-abandonment comes with a heavy cost: Relationships where you’re walking on eggshells, hoping they’ll choose you, but resenting them at the same time. A deep, gnawing loneliness even when you’re in the same bed with someone. Feeling stuck in insecure relationships that drain your energy but feel impossible to leave. Health issues—like anxiety, burnout, and even physical symptoms—because your nervous system has been in survival mode for decades. And here’s the interesting part: You know something is off, but you don’t know how to fix it. Therapy didn’t get to the root. Self-help books just gave you more “to-dos” that you couldn’t stick to. And quick-fix programs only left you more frustrated and ashamed. You’ve been taught to think the problem is you. That you’re “too sensitive” or “too demanding.” But that’s a lie. The truth is— these cycles aren’t your fault. They’re a byproduct of what you were taught—or not taught— about codependency, conflict resolution, and secure attachment. So, how do you break the cycle? By realizing that healing isn’t about fixing the surface issues in your relationships. It’s about going back to the source: Acknowledging the ways your early environment shaped your patterns. Rebuilding your relationship with yourself so you can show up authentically. Learning how to handle conflict in a way that deepens connection instead of destroying it. When you take the time to heal this, everything changes: You stop chasing people who can’t meet your needs. You stop walking on eggshells, terrified of rocking the boat. You create relationships that feel safe, secure, and authentic. And here’s the truth (and you know it): It’s not about finding the perfect partner. It’s about becoming the version of you who doesn’t need to chase, fix, or beg for love. The one who knows that healthy love isn’t a battlefield—it’s a sanctuary. The one who doesn’t crumble in the face of conflict but stands rooted in their truth. The one who doesn’t just survive relationships but thrives in connection. This isn’t a dream—it’s a decision. And the process begins with one bold move: Choosing to stop running from yourself. So let me ask you—are you ready to break the cycle of chaos, codependency, and self-abandonment once and for all? If your answer is yes, then congratulations— you’re stepping into the identity of a Cyclebreaker. And trust me, the world needs more people like you. Your wingman on the adventure, Nima ___________________________________________________ P.S. If this message lands for you, and you are ready to stop the chaos and start breaking the cycle, I offer an intuitive Blind Spot Reading designed to expose the patterns keeping you stuck in cycles of relationship breakdowns, codependency, and self-abandonment. Here’s what we’ll uncover together: The hidden dynamics driving your relationships off course— and why you keep ending up in the same frustrating loops. Why conflict resolution feels impossible and how unresolved patterns from your past are silently running the show. The specific, practical steps you need to create authentic, secure love, starting with the relationship you have with yourself. Warning: THIS ISN’T TALK THERAPY. It’s not you venting, and me merely validating. It’s a 30-minute, no-fluff deep dive into the blind spots you can’t see but have been controlling your life— and a clear roadmap to finally reclaim your power. Normally $497, this session is free for those who qualify. Because breaking the cycle means being ready to follow through. Here’s how to apply: Comment Or DM with your story: What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing in your relationships? Be real and raw. Tell me what you’ve already tried, what has helped-- and where you want to be. End your reply with: “Nima, can I have your private calendar link?” This is your chance to uncover what’s been holding you back— and more importantly, how to move forward. 2025 can be the year you stop repeating the past and start creating the relationships you deserve. Your guide to breaking the cycle, Nima…

1
It’s Not Depression It’s Something Else 2:12

18 weeks پیش2:12

2:12

When you’re in dorsal vagal shutdown, your thoughts turn dark. • “What’s the point?” • “I’ll never get it right.” • “Nobody wants me anyway.” • “I’ll reject myself before they can do it.” It’s a quiet war that nobody sees. You isolate not because you want to— but because it feels safer. Safer to abandon yourself first… before someone else does. Safer to stay numb… than to face the shame, anger, and grief buried underneath. Safer to believe the inner critic who whispers, “You’re broken. You’re unlovable. You’re not enough.” You see, dorsal vagal shutdown isn’t just numbness. It’s a covert form of self-protection. Self-hatred becomes your shield. You reject yourself to feel in control of the rejection. How heartbreaking is that? And yet, it makes sense. Your nervous system is protecting you in the only way it knows how: By shutting down. By disconnecting. But there’s another way. Here, I share a video snippet from the Overview Experience breaking this all down: IT’S NOT DEPRESSION. (The invitation is to stop talking about yourself in ways that judge your protective states) It’s dorsal vagal shutdown— remember— your body’s attempt to PROTECT you from feeling what’s really happening underneath: • The grief of wasted years not living authentically. • The shame of choosing partners who “feel safe/familiar” but aren’t true matches. • The fear of abandonment that runs so deep, you choose self-abandonment first. And it all ties back to attachment wounds you haven’t yet resolved. It’s mind-blowing when you see how your nervous system, your relationships, and your inner critic are all connected. When you tie it together and become Trigger-Proof, something shifts. The shame softens. The inner critic calms down. And you start to feel… lighter. That’s what happened with Andrea when we uncovered this. Two days after our blind spot call, she sent me this: This shift can happen for you too. Because you can heal. You can learn to feel what you’ve been avoiding. You can reconnect to yourself— your truth, your power, and your ability to choose. It starts with a single moment of clarity. Next, you’ll be summoned to choose: to stop avoiding, to stop numbing, and to face what’s really there. It’s not depression: It’s protection. It’s not weakness. It’s courageous to admit, and face head on. And on the other side of that courage? Freedom. Your wingman on the adventure, Nima ______________________________________ P.S. If you can relate to this email— if you’re noticing you’ve been in a dorsal vagal state, and you know it’s connected to attachment wounds— tell me your story— including the relevant relational dynamics. I’m listening. Share your backstory with me: • Where are you stuck? • What therapies or approaches have you tried to resolve it? - What kind of work do you do? I’ll see how well you follow instructions, and if I can help you, I’ll send you my private calendar link for a blind spot call—normally $497, but free for those who are ready. It’s an opportunity to get honest, critical feedback that isn’t sugarcoated but is delivered with compassion. If this is resonating with you, simply reply with all of the above, finishing with: “Nima, will you please send me your calendar link?” Let’s uncover what’s been holding you back.…

به Player FM خوش آمدید!

Player FM در سراسر وب را برای یافتن پادکست های با کیفیت اسکن می کند تا همین الان لذت ببرید. این بهترین برنامه ی پادکست است که در اندروید، آیفون و وب کار می کند. ثبت نام کنید تا اشتراک های شما در بین دستگاه های مختلف همگام سازی شود.