Episode 142: Feeling Like You Are A Parent To Your Partner

Sean Healy: Tools

What we can do to avoid patterns of unhealthy relating

There are a number of dysfunctional relating patterns that we can fall into over time in our romantic relationships. These patterns lower desire and build frustration and resentment.

Some examples of adults falling into a parent to child style of relating are the Peter Pan and Wendy Syndrome and/or what's known as paying your partner's mummy or daddy bill.

I want a partner who meets all my needs without me having to do much. I want a partner that heals all the wounding of my childhood. I want someone to look after me so that I don't have to be burdened by the job.

Choosing to become part of a couple means that whilst you hold onto a healthy sense of separateness, you also agree to contribute to the ‘us’ and togetherness side of the relationship. This means compromise and willingly shouldering some responsibility.

This episode looks at some of the parent/child like rut that we can fall into and the way it can erode healthy vibrant adult to adult relating.