Relationship Deadlines are an Illusion

Romancipation

S5 Episode 2: Relationship Deadlines are an Illusion

Episode Summary

Romantic relationship can be stressful enough without the added pressure of artificial deadlines. Timing is not everything when it comes to love. It is more important to build a healthy relationship with the right person than it is to meet self-imposed relationship goals like marriage and children.
Life is unpredictable. Stay flexible when it comes to building the life you desire. Ignore what society, friends or your family tells you is necessary for your happiness. Only you can decide what is the right fit for you. This is true for romantic partners, jobs, living arrangements, and the decision to have a family.
Reject the idea that relationships happen on a schedule. By removing the pressure to conform to other people’s expectations, you free yourself to explore all of the options and opportunities life has to offer. Focus your time and energy on productive things that benefit your mental, physical, financial and emotional health.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how important it is for your partner to understand your moods before they approach you for sex.

Show Notes

Having a life plan is different than having relationship deadlines. You can have general five-year or ten-year plans that shape your future. But this should be seen as more of a guide—not a rulebook of strict deadlines. Life-altering decisions should not hinge on societal notions of what is supposed to happen when.

Relationship deadlines create a false sense of urgency and cause stress in a relationship. In the end, they can also be entirely counterproductive. Deadlines create desperate behavior, and it’s a big reason why people make decisions they end up regretting down the road.

Whether it’s marriage, having kids, or some other milestone, you shouldn’t feel great pressure to make these things happen by a specific time. When you remove the concept of deadlines, you give yourself the freedom to go at your own pace. The moment friends or family try to place deadlines upon you, it’s because they want you to join in their choices. Misery loves company.

You deserve to live in your current happiness without worrying about what’s going to come next. You’re not missing out, so don’t let artificial or self-imposed deadlines guide your life. Idealizing a lifestyle isn’t true joy or comfort. If you can’t let go of your deadlines, at the very least ensure you communicate them in your relationship very early on.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: To have sex with me, my partner needs to understand my moods—it’s a mental thing for women. As a woman, the mood you're in dictates your desire. A partner who understands this reality will have a much higher rate of success. Men: Assess the situation before you make a move.

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