Acceptance is Not the Same as Forgiveness

Romancipation

S4 Episode 4: Acceptance is Not the Same as Forgiveness

Episode Summary

Every relationship will have its trials and tribulations; feelings will be hurt, boundaries will be violated, and trust will be tested. How you choose to react to those transgressions will determine the fate of the relationship. You may be willing to forgive a partner’s behavior, but that does not mean you will accept the consequences that arise from their actions.
Acceptance of a partner’s flaws, past or baggage is very different from accepting disrespectful or abusive behavior. Moreover, you may be willing to forgive your partner’s behavior or actions without ever fully accepting the impact it had on you and your relationship. Unfortunately, refusal to accept something will often result in the same issues reappearing in the relationship.
The decision to forgive and/or accept is yours alone. Sometimes it is easier to forgive or accept your partner than it is to forgive or accept yourself. The more self-aware you become, the more the issue of acceptance and forgiveness can have a significant impact on your romantic relationships. When you learn to accept the past instead of letting it define you, you increase your sense of self-worth.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss uncovering infidelity in a friend’s relationship.

Show Notes

People often use the term “acceptance” and “forgiveness” interchangeably, but they are actually two very distinct concepts—especially in a romantic relationship. There are things, big and small, your partner may do which you can’t forgive. However, you get to decide if you’re going to accept it or not.
Acceptance can be much more difficult than forgiveness, and once you accept something, you can’t take it back. That’s why acceptance takes a lot of practice. The thing both concepts have in common is that they can be freeing when you embrace them. Acceptance means you’re at peace with your decision.
Accepting something is moving on from the event or experience and not letting it define your future. Forgiveness is something you let go of and let live in the past. It’s also not just about accepting the shortcomings of other people. We’re all capable of bad behavior, so sometimes it comes down to accepting ourselves.
A lasting relationship starts with accepting yourself first. From there, you can decide if you can accept your partner’s behavior or not. If you have difficulty doing this, it may be a sign that the relationship is actually not the right fit for you.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When you know about a friend’s partner’s infidelity. It becomes a moral dilemma between protecting your friend and not interfering in their relationship. It puts you in an unwinnable situation. If you say something, it might end the friendship. If you don’t, you have to carry a painful secret.
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