328: Betrayal trauma. How do you recover? (ft. Rosanne Delaney)

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

"For so long I felt like, ‘this is only happening in my marriage.’"

If you've ever experienced something dark, difficult, or deeply challenging in your love relationship, *and didn't feel like you could talk about it with others,* you'll relate to this episode.

Few topics bring up wounds as deep as betrayal. Whether you've experienced a partner cheating (physically or emotionally), abuse of some kind, or some other kind of damaging withholding or acting out in a relationship, you're familiar with the deep feeling of aloneness that often comes with that experience.

Or as my guest this week put it, it can feel like "we’re fighting this war in our own little intimate relationship."

How do you rebuild trust when you've betrayed an intimate partner? If you're the betrayed, how do you overcome the PTSD that you've developed in response to this? Here, we delve into all of that and more -- and celebrate what's possible on the other side. The depth of healing and restoration that my guest and her husband have attained is truly remarkable.

The fact is, isolation is when all the bad stuff happens. When we're isolated, we're often judging ourselves (as well as our partners). We can feel hopeless, despairing, or trapped.

I put out this podcast in large part to combat isolation, and bring us together. To know in our bones that we are not alone -- that our story is echoed in the stories of others, and vice versa.

Healing is always possible. You are not alone.

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Mentioned on this episode:

• SAlifeline.org

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• “Addiction lives in silence and isolation.”
• “I didn’t know if I would ever be able to forgive him fully.”
• “He was moving at his pace.”
• “All of a sudden I no longer felt batsh*t crazy.”
• “He loved me the very best that he could.”
• “I did base a lot of my OK-ness on how he felt.”
• “I never knew that marriage could be so fun!”