#70 - Two Types of Self-Care & Committing to Both!

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Knowing the two types of self-care and practicing both is good for you and everyone around you! Tune in and learn the two types of self-care, why you may be challenged around meeting your self-care needs and how to hold yourself accountable for practicing good self-care.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #70:

• There are two types of self-care: self-care needs and self-care wants.
• We learn about self-care first in our family of origin.
• If some of our needs were neglected as children, we may struggle to practice self-care as an adult and we may pass neglect on to our children.
• Self-care wants are just as — if not more — important than self-care needs.
• Use self-care wants as a reward for attending to self-care needs.
• Commit to at least one self-care want every day, and work your way up to three, or more!

Highlights from Episode #70:

• Welcome to the show! [00:40]
• A listener inspired this episode with questions about self-care. [00:54]
• Vicki brings up the issue of self-care and how self-care related to boundaries that we set for ourselves. [02:15]
• Without setting limits on ourselves, we aren't able to function. [03:09]
• Setting personal healthy limits creates space for health and well-being. [05:34]
• Vicki discusses the two categories of self-care, and what the term means. [06:09]
• We learn about the 11 self-care needs, which are listed below. [06:18]
• Our parents teach us about self-care through their own behavior and how they parented us. [09:40]
• We need to be mindful of all 11 self-care needs to teach our children. [11:05]
• Does self-care feel more like a chore than a joy? [13:22]
• Vicki speaks about self-care wants, which are activities that we love to do and that we feel good about after we've done them. [14:28]
• Self-care wants are highly individualized, and self-care looks different for men and women. [17:01]
• Why self-care wants are just as crucial as needs. [19:56]
• When our self-care wants are taken care of, we have a buffer that helps us avoid drama and conflict. [21:34]
• Vicki tells us how to get self-care done. [23:02]
• Find someone to be your accountability partner to help with your progress. [24:59]
• To make self-care needs easier to take care of, schedule your appointments in advance and reward yourself when you complete them. [26:24]
• Commit to a bare minimum of one self-care want each day, and work your way up to at least three. [30:05]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Episode #34 | Women, Choose Self-Care Over Self-Sacrifice
• Episode #50 | Extreme Self-Care and Boundaries
• Episode #55 | Extreme Accountability
• Pia Mellody
• Bullet Journal: The Analog Method for the Digital Age

Self-Care Needs*:

1. Food
2. Clothing
3. Shelter
4. Physical Nurturing
5. Emotional Nurturing
6. Spiritual Practice
7. Education
8. Money
9. Medical Attention
10. Dental
11. Sexual

*From the work of Pia Mellody @ www.piamelody.com