#69 - Boundaries Quick Tips #10: Why You Should Wait for the Ask

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Have you gotten into a habit of answering questions that haven't even been asked? It's easy to do, especially when you can tell that the other person is feeling insecure, fearful, or potentially angry with you. Tune in and learn how to recognize statements that seem like questions and why you should avoid answering. Plus, tips on how to do that while preserving your energy, minimizing drama, and maintaining connection.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #69:

• How to recognize a temptation to answer a question that hasn't been asked.
• Why you should avoid answering questions that haven’t been asked.
• How to avoid answering un-asked questions
• Why answering un-asked questions causes problems or even drama.
• How to invite another person to be more direct in getting their needs and wants met.
• The skill of not answering un-asked questions involves both the listening and talking boundaries.

Highlights from Episode #69:

• Vicki introduces the topic for this week's episode. [00:51]
• Examples of statements that often get perceived as questions or requests. [01:34]
• Vicki discusses these examples and spells out the unspoken questions. [02:49]
• When you hear an indirect question you often want to jump to the rescue. [05:04]
• Vicki says that if we dive in and rescue it can cause problems or misunderstandings. [05:41]
• Vicki discusses what we do about indirect statements and offers some likely responses. [07:22]
• She talks about how to respond when faced with an indirect question. [08:33]
• Inviting the other person to be more direct keeps you from jumping to the rescue. [12:02]
• The skill of not answering an un-asked question involves both the listening and talking boundaries. [12:21]
• Vicki talks about the challenges of staying vulnerable in relationships and asking for what we need and want. [13:44]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast Episode 58: Codependency & Boundaries
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast Episode 37: The Listening Boundary Part 1
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast Episode 39: The Listening Boundary Part 2
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast Episode 40: The Listening Boundary Part 3