#26 - Navigating & Negotiating Women’s Needs for Safety

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

As with every first episode of the month, this one is dedicated to the topic of women and boundaries. I was inspired by a recent incident in my own life that made me even more aware that there are stark differences between the way women and men perceive safety or danger, and their relative needs for safety.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #26:

• Boundaries are about protection and creating safety for ourselves and others. If women and men have a different perception about safety in general, their different perceptions can cause upset, challenges, or intense conflict around navigating situations where safety is an issue.
• When you’re highly activated or triggered in some way, your brain goes offline and you stop thinking in a rational way. Instead, you’re more likely to make things up in your own mind, and react to what you've made up.
• Safety is a fundamental need that we all have. If our needs for safety are not met, we will struggle to be relational, or sometimes even rational.
• In general, women have a much different perception around safety and boundaries than men do, and the statistics (which you’ll hear in this episode, or can read at this link) illustrate why.

Highlights from Episode #26:

• Vicki explains what boundaries and safety have to do with each other, and how this relates to the differences between women's and men's relative need for safety. [02:01]
• We hear about the event that Vicki experienced recently that inspired this episode. [05:54]
• Vicki sums up the relevant points of her story. [12:50]
• Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a helpful tool in understanding dynamics around safety and getting needs for safety met. [15:47]
• Vicki explores three specific boundaries and how they show up for women. [17:48]
• We hear some statistics from the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website. [26:54]
• What do you do about these differences, how can women take care of themselves, and how can we navigate the challenges that may arise? [30:04]
• Vicki recaps the points that she has covered in today’s episode. [39:47]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast Episode 4: Women & Boundaries: Struggles and Strengths
• Abraham Maslow
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast Episode 2: What Good Boundaries Can Do For You + The 5 Types and 2 Functions of Boundaries
• Carl Jung
• Collective Unconscious
• Sheri Winston
• Beyond Bitchy Episode 17: Yes, No or Maybe: Sexual Boundaries for Women with Sheri Winston
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get the Facts & Figures