How to Deal with Shame

Ask Father Josh (Your Catholic Question and Answer Podcast)

Hello Father Josh!

Let me start out by saying you are such an incredible blessing to so many! God has truly sent you to help those in need. You are so relatable, and it is wonderful and very encouraging. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
My question or concern is this. A number of years ago, in my 20’s, I was at a very low point. I was depressed and searching for what I hoped would be real love. I found myself continuing to make the same mistake repeatedly, by sleeping with these men I’d date sometimes only briefly. I am so incredibly ashamed and disappointed in myself. Though I have confessed these sins on multiple occasions during Confession, I can’t ever forgive myself. I do believe God most likely forgives me, but am also deeply afraid of the recourse I will have to pay for these mistakes. I am frightened of the suffering in purgatory, though I know I deserve the consequences and to be made clean before entering Heaven. It was such a sad time in my life, and I shied away from what was right. I am just wondering, does it offend God that I don’t forgive myself? Will I suffer immensely for these sins? Can I do anything to earn penance while on Earth? I know we must pay for our sins and that He died for ours. But I can’t help but to feel scared of dying because of this. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

God Bless you.

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