Q&A#5: What really matters in parenting? Part 1

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

Listener Roberta submitted a question recently on YourParentingMojo.com/question: What does the research say are the decisions that really matter in parenting? That question immediately got my brain churning about what could be included, and how we would decide what to include, and how much of what's included could actually be research-based. The episode begins with a look at some of the major categories of factors that impact our children's development that we may not have as much control over, because we have to acknowledge these before we can look at what we do impact. Then I look at some of the things we do control but I think we can pretty safely stop worrying about them. The impact that each of these things has is likely to be so tiny as to individually meaningless. Finally, I count down my list of the top 5 things that I think impact children's development. This episode is for parents of children aged about 2 onwards. I think infants have some different needs, and I'm planning a separate episode on those later in the year. Ready to break free from the cycle of triggered reactions and conflict in your parenting journey? If you want to: 😟 Be triggered less often by your child’s behavior, 😐 React from a place of compassion and empathy instead of anger and frustration, 😊 Respond to your child from a place that’s aligned with your values rather than reacting in the heat of the moment, the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you make this shift. Join us to transform conflict into connection and reclaim peace in your parenting journey. Join the waitlist and we'll let you know when doors reopen. Click the banner to learn more!

13 Reasons Your Child Doesn't Listen

Does it seem like your child deliberately ignores you when they ‘don’t listen’? There’s actually way more to it than that! From being lost in their enchanting play to navigating daily challenges, discover the 13 reasons why your child doesn’t listen–and what to do about each one. Once you understand these reasons, you can connect with your child and support them, so they'll be more willing to collaborate with you. Click the banner to download the 13 Reasons Your Child Doesn't Listen cheat sheet now! Other episodes/blogs referenced:

• 014: Understanding the AAP’s new screen time guidelines
• 052: Grit: The unique factor in your child’s success?
• 061: Can Growth Mindset live up to the hype?
• 067: Does the Marshmallow Test tell us anything useful?
• 068: Do I HAVE to pretend play with my child?
• 148: Is spanking a child really so bad?
• 196: How to do right by your child – and everyone else’s with Dr. Elizabeth Cripps
• Why people claim that gentle parenting ‘doesn’t work’
• https://www.parentifact.org/why-does-parenting-advice-seem-to-change-so-often/

Jump to highlights 00:54 Introducing the topic 01:09 Question from Listener Roberta 07:43 Socio-economic status affects a child's environment and parenting approaches 18:25 Jeannou's journey reveals the intricate link between upbringing and well-being 27:39 To understand what truly matters in parenting, we must consider both achievable outcomes and deeper definitions of success. 29:38 List of things that are not worth worrying about for children in their toddler years and beyond 33:06 The five things that really matter in parenting 48:21 Wrapping up the discussion References Bradley, R.H., & Corwyn, R.F. (2002). Socioeconomic status and child development. Annual Review of Psychology 53, 371-99.

---

Hoff, E., Laursen, B., & Tardif, T. (2019). Socioeconomic status and parenting. In: M. H. Bornstein (Ed.). Handbook of parenting Volume 2: Biology and ecology of parenting (p.421-447). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum

---

Myers, D.G. (2008). Will money buy happiness? In S. Lopez (2008), Positive psychology: Exploring the best in people (Vol. 4: Pursuing human flourishing). Westport, CT: Praeger.

---

Polderman, T.J.C., Benyamin, B., de Leeuw, C.A., Sullivan, P.F., van Bochoven, A., Visscher, P.M., & Posthuma, D. (2015). Meta-analysis of the heritability of human traits based on fifty years of twin studies. Nature Genetics 47(7), 702.

---

Ulferts, H. (2020). Why parenting matters for children in the 21st century: An evidence-based framework for understanding parenting and its impact on child development. Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development Education Working Paper No. 222. Retrieved from: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Hannah-Ulferts/publication/342082899_Why_parenting_matters_for_children_in_the_21st_century_An_evidence-based_framework_for_understanding_parenting_and_its_impact_on_child_development/links/5ee1eb5aa6fdcc73be702921/Why-parenting-matters-for-children-in-the-21st-century-An-evidence-based-framework-for-understanding-parenting-and-its-impact-on-child-development.pdf