What Is Within You?

Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women

Hello and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am ecstatic to get started today. We are going to be talking about one of my favorite historical women today just because she has taught me so much throughout my life. So, before we get started, I do want to remind you that we have our UnMasked Conference coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. In Grapevine Texas, you can go to DIVASImpact.com/unmasked and find out more details there. As we start putting all the information and getting us ready to go for this conference. We are putting together a phenomenal lineup of amazing women to come and speak at that event. We're going to have special booths for you to be able to come in and be a guest on a podcast, or maybe do a quick video blurbs and photo shoots. We're going to have just a ton of ways to not only just encourage and inspire you but to help activate you as well. So, we look forward to having you join us October 11 and 12th in Grapevine Texas, at the Divas Impact | UnMasked Conference, and then if you have not seen it yet, we have just recently released our DIVAS Impact magazine. So, it is live online with subscription options if you want the print edition as well. We are just burnin’ and turnin’ right now with in the DIVAS Impact world and super stoked about all the things that we've got coming up over the next few weeks.

So, I think told you about my girlfriend, Abigail, right? Abigail is a historical person, you find her in First Samuel 25 of the Bible. The reason I'm referring to Abigail is because Abigail is the girl that helped me find my voice again, help me find my purpose again. If you don't know the story of Abigail, I'm going to paraphrase it and give it kind of the diva version of it today. You know, a friend of mine, Michael Jr, who's a comedian, he does the whole homeboy version of reading the Bible. I do the diva version of reading the Bible. So, one of the things that I loved about Abigail is she is a woman who is married to a not very nice, man, all right? Now, I know that I've got a lot of girlfriends out there that are, are struggling in their marriages. Maybe their husband is verbally or emotionally abusive. Hopefully he's not physically abusive, and you're still in the relationship, but even so, Abigail was married to a man named Nebal. All right, and Nebal was a foolish man, he was just a downright mean, ugly, and liked to party and drink all the time. Any my girlfriend's out there can relate to that having a husband like that, never grew up type personality, right. So, he just was very harsh and rude, and his dealings, never really was fair, even though he'd been given a lot of grace and a lot of blessings in his life. He didn't feel the need to pass on or pay forward those blessings at all right?

So in walks, David - now, I use this story because a lot of my girlfriends are like, “man, I have a prayer that if I could just get out of this bad marriage, there's a true man, a king, a somebody waiting to ride up on this white horse and whisk me off my feet”, you know, just like the Disney fairy tales, right? But I started calling this the Abigail prayer, like the prayer of Jabez in the Bible, they have the prayer of Abigail, “Lord, if you would just smite my husband down and bring me a king and his presence”, right? Well, that's a little bit about what I'm going to talk about today, and I hope you have a sense of humor and are going to join me in this thing. But I'm going to challenge you that the prayer of Abigail never turns out the way you want it to turn out. So, hold on to your seats, we're going to get in this pretty deep, pretty fast. So, there's this guy named David. Anybody heard of David in the Bible? He kind of wrote the song Psalms, he's kind of known for being a little foolish himself at times, but he was a musician. He had God's heart; he even sent a guy to be killed so he can marry his wife. He had some good days, he had some bad days, let's just be real with it. But the thing about David was, he was a ferocious fighter and he was an honorable man for most parts. He had been protecting the land that Nebal had for many years and kept all of his sheep and his men safe and all of that stuff. So, now they're out there wandering and David and his men are starting to get a little hungry, right? So they send word to Nebal, send some messengers to Nebal, that says, “Hey, dude, you know, while we've been camped out here, you know, your lands not been taken over by the enemy, you know, you've had great protection for your crops, your sheep, all of that stuff. So hey, could you do us a solid and send us over some food to feed us because we're, we're hungry here.” And Nebal just kind of got rude. You know? He said, “uh, who's this David guy? I don't know who he is. Nobody's protected me but me. I didn't need him. I don't need to send him food. I don't need to do any of that stuff.” So, when the messengers took that word back to David, David threw a fit. He had anger in his mind. He had anger in his heart, and he was ready to just annihilate everybody on Nebal's property, right? So, what had happened? I know I've talked about Nebal and David, what had happened was one of the messengers that got word from one of the guys that gotten word from the messengers, went to Abigail, Nebal’s wife, and said, “Ma'am, you know, these guys have really protected us, they've been kind to us, they've kept us safe when war was so close, and our master has just basically hurled insults at them and turned a blind eye to them, slammed the door in their face, so to speak. And I fear that going up against a man, the strongest, David is going to lead to all of our demise by morning. We will all be dead by morning.”

So Abigail - these are the things that I love about Abigail says, Abigail went to her pantry. Now, all of us have a little pantry in our house, it may be a closet, it may be a shelf, it may be something but we have a place where we keep things that we've got ready to make a meal at any time. But what I love about this is it says she took 200 loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dress sheep’s, five sheaths of roasted grain, 100 cakes of raisins, 200 cakes of pressed figs and loaded them onto donkeys. Okay, so this woman had been having or had been preparing or had been having prepared for a while, these things that she loaded onto this donkey. She went out and she pulled out of a store place thing that she'd been preparing for a long time.

So today, I want to ask you and challenge you on something, what is it that you've been working towards or hoping towards and storing away for a long time? Maybe you've been writing in a journal, maybe you've been writing, writing a blog that's never been published, maybe you've been writing a screen written play that's never seen the light of day or a novel. Maybe you've been making little things at home for yourself that you enjoy, but all of your friends’ compliment on you, but you've never sold them or given them away to anybody else. Maybe you've been studying everything there is about anatomy and, all that stuff but never gone and taken the classes to be a nurse. There's something in your pantry, something in your life that you've kind of been pulling aside and setting aside for that rainy day, and I want you to be challenged with. That rainy day is here. It is time for you to start pulling those things out of your pantry. Now one of the other things that Abigail did is she loaded those onto the donkey, and she rode out to meet David. Now, David, David again, he was upset. But when he saw Abigail - Abigail quickly got off her donkey. She bowed down to David with her face to the ground, falling at his feet, and then she gave the longest recorded speech by a woman in the Bible. Now how many of y'all have sat there and heard that women in the church cannot speak, they're not to be heard, all that stuff? Yes, that's over in the New Testament on that. But this woman is standing before the future king of Israel, and throwing herself at his mercy in speaking on behalf of her husband and all his land, right? She had a voice and she was empowered to use it at a certain time. And she says “pardon your servant, my lord. And let me speak to you, hear what your servant has to say,” She's letting him know that she's submitting to him and his power in his strength. “Please pay no attention, my Lord to what that wicked man named Nebal, he is just like his name. His name means fool and folly goes with him.” So, she dished on her husband, she got a little jab in there we all do it from time to time, right? “And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men My Lord sent and now my lord is surely as your God lives. And as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming My Lord be like Nebal, and let this gift which your servant has brought to my Lord, be given to the men who follow you.” So, she gave everything off her donkey to David to feed his men, and to really just stand strong, to let David know that she was she was on his side and she meant no harm or no foul to him. But the other thing that I like the next part of this the whole like it says, “please forgive your servants presumption. The LORD your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my Lord”, when she says My Lord, she's talking about David, “because you fight the Lord's battle and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live, even though someone that is pursuing you to take your life, the life of the Lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living God but the lives of your enemies, he will be hurled away as from the pocket of a sling.” Hmm, remember David, “Use this sling before and when the Lord is fulfilled for my Lord, everything he promised concerning him is appointed him ruler over Israel, my Lord will not have one thing on his conscience, the staggering burning of needless bloodshed, or having a bench himself and when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant?” Okay, there was a lot of Lord their God, and my Lord, and all that stuff. It almost sounded like a southern Christmas, you know, my lord. But here's the thing she's saying here is don't go out and react the way Nebal reacted. I'm here, I'm offering peace. And I'm not only trying to save you from hunger, I'm trying to save you from making a foolish choice and avenging something that is not even your battle to avenge. Right? She was trying to keep David holy and pure, so that he would be the rightful owner and the rightful king, heir to the throne of Israel, right?

So, she did something that I used to train my admin assistants all the time, I used to tell them all the time, you are there to protect your pastor, from everybody, including himself. So being that gatekeeper, whether you're an admin assistant for a fortune 500 company, a small mom and pop company, a church, whatever it is, being that gatekeeper is knowing what could bring harm to them and seeing that even when they can't see it when they're blinded by foolishness or rage or, or whatever's coming up against them, helping them to curb their appetite for revenge, right. And that's exactly what Abigail did that day. She stood before David, dropped to her face, and pled with him to save not only her husband's life and the lives of the men, but his own. That is powerful, people. When you realize that you have a voice to make an impact and how you go out tomorrow, making that impact is so significant.

Now, this next part is the part that I really relate to. Yes, I loved the part about the pantry because it reminded me that no matter what circumstance of life, I'm in, I still have the opportunity to do the work that I'm called for. I was telling somebody the other day they were asking me about all the speaking topics I have. I'm like, Oh, I have hundreds of them. Some of them have seen light of day, some of them have not. But I literally have file drawers full of things that I've written, because even when I didn't feel like I had a voice, I put it down on paper. I was preparing for a season for when I would have a voice because I knew that was my calling and the purpose that was on me for all long. So, David was thankful to Abigail. He took the food, he let her know that Nebal and his men were not going to be harmed at all and stuff like that. And when Abigail returned that night, her husband was throwing another one of his shindigs. Right? Had all the people out, they were partying, and he was drunk. And Abigail did something out of her pure wisdom, that it took my mom and several other people reminding me many, many years not to do. She saw how drunk he was, and she went to bed. She didn't tell him what at all what all it happened and how she had saved she didn't go in there and go, now listen, here you fool. You don't realize what you just about brought on to us. You didn't, you don't realize the danger you almost brought to us. And I, I, being the upright wife and The Good Wife that I am, I saved ourselves from virtual destruction. No, she went to bed. Now, I like to thank Abigail's human. I bet you she stewed in that bed for a little bit or maybe she was just relieved that what she had done, worked and just took a deep breath before she drifted off to sleep. The next morning, it says she woke up and her husband was sober, and she got to have a talk with him and tell him what it happened.

See, calmer, cooler minds prevail, right? That was one of the things my mom used to tell me when my husband was drinking all the time, is don't talk to him when he's drunk. It just gets worse. It just gets worse, and she's right, it would always escalate in something that it didn't need to be. Thank goodness, he's not that man anymore. But at the time, it was just a vicious vicious circle, because I am a toe to toe fighter. Okay, my husband's one of those, they'll throw his hands up, he'll walk away for a little while. But if I keep toe to toe toe fighting and pushing and pushing and pushing, it's going to get ugly. And I'm not talking about physical, but it's going to get vicious with the words that are being slung like stones out of a sling, right? So, she sits down, and she has this conversation with Nibal. And it says that he fell into like a stone like state and few days later, he died. Basically, what that means is he had a stroke, and he passed away, but when he passed away, David heard about it. And he sent for Abigail to be one of his wives. Now here's one of the things I want to talk to all my single girls out there about, because I've got some single girlfriends that are in their late 20s going into their 30s, some even reaching into their 40s. And they've never been married. And they keep saying, I'm just waiting for my king to come. Are you being the Queen that he needs to see? Because see, David wasn’t the king when he met Abigail, but Abigail had role two qualities. She knew what was required of her and how to speak, and speak eloquently, and how to be prepared and how to run a home. And how to know when to speak and when to be quiet. See a lot of times, the girls that are saying they're just waiting for their king to come. They're just waiting for somebody to accept them as they are, and they've stopped growing and evolving and doing all that they're called to be. And they're just waiting for some man to come and complete them. A man's not looking for a woman that needs to be completed. A man's looking for a strong, independent woman who knows the calling on her life and is not intimidated by the outside factors. So, which one do you want? A lot of times, neither one of you are kings nor queens when you get married. Your prince and princesses, and we all know how bratty some of them can be right? We've all watched the Disney fairy tales. My daughter and her kids just got back from Disneyland last week. I'm just telling you, after the kids had been around some of the princesses and stuff, they were a little bratty too, it rubs off.

So have the women in your life that when you say something that you shouldn't say, and you know you shouldn't say it, or kind of hold you accountable, and be strong in your life and push back and tell you now, you can do better, you can be better. See, because Abigail did get her king, he wasn't a king when he married her. He was still, he was still an heir to the throne, wasn't even a prince. But as they were married, he became a king.

So, my question to you is, are you willing to look for the man to lay your life down for a man in a way that will lift him up and also elevate you? See, a lot of times, I'm running into women nowadays that come in and go well my man needs to, or my man needs to do this, or my man... He jumps when I speak. My husband jumps to, but I'll tell you what, he jumps because of a love, not because of an intimidation and there's a difference. And we have to know what that difference is. He jumps because he knows how much it means to me. He also knows that I'm not asking him to do something just because I want to see him move. I'm asking him to do something that is purposeful and intentional for where I want to be and where I want us to be as a relationship. Now, how many of you out there right now some of this may have stung y'all a little bit today? I'm right there with you. When I first started hearing the story of Abigail, I was like, what do you mean, she went to bed, she needed to go in there and tell him, give him a word, tell him how to act and that sums it up. Remember, I'm the one that stood over my husband at our seven-year wedding anniversary and told him I made it last out of spite. I can be a little vindictive, I can be a little in your face. Okay, I can be a lot in your face, but that's not the point. The point is that we need to find a way to love ourselves and be passionate for those that we walk alongside with. My husband when I look at the fact that Abigail served David and I do the same thing for my husband. But you know what he does it for me too. It's a reciprocal thing. It's not an Old Testament fall on your face in the woman's below the man thing. We are partners, we are helped. When my husband calls and he has a problem, I 99.9% time answer unless I'm in here recording a podcast and then he has to be on Do Not Disturb, but I answer the phone, because I know he's needing something from me at that time. When I call him, he answers the phone, because he knows I'm needing something from him. Sometimes it's just to hear each other's voice.

If we can stop looking at people as to what they can give us, and what they, how they will elevate us in society. Then we can start realizing that we have everything we need right here at our fingertips. We just have to dig deep. Look at the things we've been collecting over the years. What's in your pantry? What is it you're seeking? How is it that you want to make an impact on the world?

Now this is going to bring me to this week's EVERYDAY DIVA, and the reason it brings me to this week's EVERYDAY DIVA is because this EVERYDAY DIVA would tell me consistently. “Don't talk to him when he's drunk, just walk away. Behave.” And that's my mom, Ginny Davis. She is the one that was there. When things would happen, my mom is the one that also prayed a prayer over me, ‘Lord, whatever it takes, bring her closer to you.’ Let me just tell you, if you're in a place right now to pray that over your child, your husband, yourself, whatever it is, be prepared for the whatever it takes, because it will send you through some challenging places in life. And it did. And I remember my mom sitting there with me one day and saying, I know I prayed that prayer. But I didn't mean all this. And I could, at peace, look at her and say, but this is what we needed to have the breakthrough. Because Have you ever watched somebody get a trophy for being the last place team and I'm not going to get on any political things here. But they show up to the baseball field, they haven't won a game, they can't throw a ball, they can't run. They can't hit a ball at the end of the season. But they've got a trophy because they participated. And then Have you watched a team that is played all the way up to the Little League World Series and won the whole series. There is a much different sense of accomplishment from the ones that won at the World Series level than the ones that just showed up and had fun. Because in those times, you're tried, you're tested, you're pushed beyond your limits. You're exhausted, you're worn out, you're battered, you're bruised, you're injured, but you still completed the task ahead of you. When you have a mom like I had that said, Lord, whatever it takes, and she prayed that in earnest. That's what it took me through. It took me through a whole bunch of bull Kaka to get me where I needed to be and caused that breakthrough. And let me just tell you that breakthrough was so much sweeter because of that. So like I said, today's EVERYDAY DIVA is my mom, Ginny Davis, maybe you want to call your mom today and thank her for saying the prayers that she said for you and pushed you and challenged you in ways that you didn't like at the time but you needed, but whatever that looks like for you. I hope that you will stand strong today, know that your voice matters, know that it has an impact, but you have to use your voice wisely. So, it will be at its most impactful. So that's going to do it for today, until next time. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe, and remember to be a DIVA and make an Impact.