Envy

The Ten Thousand Things

Study envy to find messages from our future selves

We unpack the role of envy, not as a toxic emotion to be avoided or ashamed of, but a normal feeling that gives us clues to understanding our unmet desires, unfulfilled potential, and prompting necessary change.

• envy vs jealousy. Jealousy is possessiveness, envy is wanting what others have, or wanting to be them
• becoming less envious of others as we get older
• the emptiness at the heart of existence remains in place no matter who we are or what we have
• house prices, salaries, wealth distribution
• complex, changing feelings, hiding then reveal the path to self-growth
• fitting in vs standing out
• being the object of envy
• being envious of contemporaries, such as friends, people we went to school or work with
• having envy towards our own partners
• bike shorts/yoga pants: acceptable clothing for everyone?
• getting beneath the surface of desire, wanting a greater sense of freedom
• gender and clothing: do women have greater freedom in terms of clothing?
• 'painful but necessary steps'
• Ali's dream of growing more of her own food
• self-envy, a 'better version of ourself' from the past
• Joe's epic case of personal envy towards a contemporary
• therapy: like cleaning a mirror, with the image becoming clearer over time.
• daily transformations that count towards personal growth
• the importance of casual conversations for therapeutic value

Creators & Guests

• Ali Catramados - Host
• Joe Loh - Host
• Sam Ellis - Host

• (00:00) - Introduction and Welcome
• (00:28) - Discussing Alain de Botton's Quote on Envy
• (01:41) - Understanding Envy and Jealousy
• (02:05) - Personal Experiences with Envy
• (02:48) - Envy and Lifestyle Aspirations
• (03:24) - Debate on Work and Lifestyle
• (05:30) - Envy in Youth and Adulthood
• (05:55) - Envy and Money
• (08:49) - Envy of partners in relationships
• (11:32) - Envy and Personal Style
• (29:16) - The Illusion of Success
• (29:24) - The Changing Landscape of Attainable Dreams
• (30:04) - The Struggle with Identity and Expectations
• (30:20) - The Reality of Career Success
• (31:20) - The Shift in Perception of Wealth and Success
• (32:32) - The Struggle with Personal Limitations
• (33:34) - The Reality of Life's Unpredictability
• (34:30) - The Desire for Freedom from Wage Slavery
• (35:12) - The Struggle with Self-Blame and Helplessness
• (37:36) - The Journey Towards Self-Reliance and Acceptance
• (42:31) - The Power of Reflection and Self-Understanding

00:00 Theme, intro
00:28 Alain de Botton's Quote on Envy
01:41 Understanding Envy and Jealousy
02:05 Personal Experiences with Envy
02:48 Envy and Lifestyle Aspirations
03:24 Debate on Work and Lifestyle
05:30 Envy in Youth and Adulthood
05:55 Envy and Money
08:49 Envy of partners in relationships
11:32 Envy and Personal Style
29:16 The Illusion of Success
29:24 The Changing Landscape of Attainable Dreams
30:04 The Struggle with Identity and Expectations
30:20 The Reality of Career Success
31:20 The Shift in Perception of Wealth and Success
32:32 The Struggle with Personal Limitations
33:34 The Reality of Life's Unpredictability
34:30 The Desire for Freedom from Wage Slavery
35:12 The Struggle with Self-Blame and Helplessness
37:36 The Journey Towards Self-Reliance and Acceptance
42:31 The Power of Reflection and Self-Understanding