96. Break-up Recovery: Can we really ever get 'Closure'?

The Good Mood Clinic Podcast

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Episode Summary: In this episode, Gemma Gladstone tackles a listener's question about break-up recovery and the elusive concept of closure. Drawing from her extensive experience as a therapist over the last 25 years, she provides practical advice on healing after a painful breakup, what to do and what not to do as well as managing lingering feelings.

Key Points:

1. Introduction to Listener's Question:
   • A listener, referred to as "Lisa," shares her experience of a difficult breakup with a partner who exhibited love-bombing behavior.
   • Lisa is conflicted about seeking closure by expressing her feelings to her ex versus moving on without further contact.
2. Understanding Love Bombing:
   • Gemma explains the dynamics of love bombing and its association with narcissistic traits.
   • The importance of recognizing red flags early in relationships.
3. Healing Tips Post-Breakup:
   • No Contact Rule: Avoid all forms of contact with the ex-partner, including social media, to facilitate healing.
   • Avoid Rumination: Recognize and interrupt patterns of overthinking and counterfactual thinking to prevent emotional stagnation.
   • Validate Your Emotions: Acknowledge and accept your feelings of grief and sadness as a natural part of the healing process.
4. Mindfulness and Self-Compassion:
   • Techniques to become aware of and manage unhelpful thoughts.
   • The role of self-compassion in validating and soothing your emotional pain.
5. Avoiding Rebound Relationships:
   • The dangers of jumping into new relationships or casual encounters too soon.
   • The importance of self-reflection and understanding personal patterns before starting a new relationship.
6. The Concept of Closure:
   • Differentiating between seeking resolution and seeking closure.
   • Understanding that closure often involves needing something from the other person, which may not always be possible.
   • The importance of finding closure within oneself rather than relying on external validation or apologies.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Red Flag Project: A comprehensive course on identifying and understanding red flags in relationships. For more information, visit redflagproject.org

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