Robert Waldinger ON: Why We Struggle to Connect & How to Stop Toxic Habits from Breaking Our Spirit

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

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Today, I am talking to Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and co-founder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. Dr. Waldinger is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He's also a zen master and teaches meditation in New England and around the world. And he is the co-author of the book, The Good Life: Lessons From the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.

Robert shares his expertise on adult happiness. We go back and forth with our thoughts on the effects of chronically stressful relationships on our physical body as well as our mental and emotional health, why we should stop minding what people think about us and instead start checking in with ourselves, and the pros and cons of engaging in personal development and being open to changes.

What We Discuss:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:03:23 The pros and cons of remote conversations
• 00:05:16 This 75-Year Harvard Study
• 00:13:10 The three flavors of happiness
• 00:17:45 Turn to activities that are enlivening
• 00:20:18 We’re not trained to look inward
• 00:26:23 Take note of the things that are evolving
• 00:35:32 When you’re living with people that causes you stress
• 00:40:14 Active re-imagining of life from a different time
• 00:47:03 Chronically stressful relationships break down the body
• 00:53:30 Looking at the long view when dealing with relationships
• 01:01:00 Socio-emotional learning
• 01:02:57 How do we keep our relationships in shape?
• 01:06:02 Security of attachment for introverts and extroverts

Episode Resources

• Robert Waldinger | Website
• Robert Waldinger | Facebook
• Robert Waldinger | Twitter
• Robert Waldinger | LinkedIn

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