Unhealthy Attachments: Are you in a relationship with attachments that make you feel secure?
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Are you quick to jump into relationships after ending one? Tired of constantly being the one to pursue relationships? Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt as if you were connected to someone with unhealthy attachments, like having an anxious attachment. This is also called ambivalent attachment which is determined before we' reach the age of one. Your attachment style depends on the type energy received from your parents to determine what love really feels like, but if you didn’t receive enough consistency to feel that your needs could be met; then it's likely to develop certain attachment styles when in relationships.
If you feel that you fall under the anxious attachment style, then here's a few things you can start doing
- Avoid negative self-talk- treat yourself as you would your best friend.
- Focus on activities that you can control and see results. Get busy with something meaningful whether it’s work/school/family/adopting a pet etc.
- Get to know yourself and your triggers: One of the hallmark’s of anxious attachment is thinking lowly of yourself and highly of your partner.
- If you are dating, do not dismiss people interested in getting to know you (without jumping into an instant relationship) as boring - take your time.
- Take stock of “fake love”. Were you really in love with your exes? Were you both just going through the motions, saying things you think people in love say in order to take the relationship to the next level forcefully?
- Build healthy personal boundaries: The biggest issue with anxious attachment is that we have grown up thinking that it’s ok for people to be unreliable - even if they are cruel sometimes, they are nice other times.. so they must love us, right?
Are you really ready to add more peace in your life? Now is the time to seek some reassurance in your love life. If you know someone who's currently showing signs of anxious attachment styles or interested in hearing all about the different levels of attachment scenarios - then this episode is just for you!
Links to Speak w/ Therapist
Gottman Relationship Coach
Dating Coach | Kirstie Taylor
Attachment & Grief Therapist
Relationship Attachment Style Test
Trauma & Mindset Coach | Candice Tamara
Books Associated with this Episode
Find A Man, Keep A Man: Professional Advice and Real-Life Stories to Help You Understand Your Partner
Lush Credit Secrets : Inside Secrets to Creating Financial Wealth
The Dance of Anger
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