Ep #177 Throwing Everyone Under the Bus: How I Learned to Stop Blaming My Kids for My Emotional Meltdowns

Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting

I'm three days away from a family vacation, and my house looks like it got into a fight with a tornado... and lost. There are Amazon boxes everywhere (because apparently we ALL forgot "essential" items), laundry covering every surface, and yesterday? Our dog got skunked. Because OF COURSE.

But here's the kicker, my kids are walking around like it's totally normal. My youngest's friend came over, I apologized for the mess, and she goes, "Oh, this reminds me of my bedroom!" I nearly died inside.

You know that moment when your brain tries to convince you that EVERYONE ELSE is responsible for your feelings? Yeah, we're diving deep into that today.

The difference between blame and responsibility:

• Blame = "This house is making me crazy!" (Translation: I'm powerless and someone else needs to fix this)
• Responsibility = "I'm making me crazy about this house" (Translation: I have the power to change this)

After I finally made peace with the chaos and stopped trying to recruit my family into my stress spiral, I woke up the next morning and someone had mysteriously cleaned the entire house. Magic? Maybe. More likely proof that when we stop being the energy vampire in the room, good things happen.

"The reason I'm feeling upset right now is because of a thought I'm thinking."

Mind. Blown. Right?

When your kid has a meltdown about 10-minute chores, they're not being dramatic (okay, maybe a little). Their brain genuinely thinks this is the end of the world. Same energy as me wanting to flee the country because there are dishes in the sink.

Random Insights:

• Emotions are self-generated (even when it feels like your teenager is personally attacking your soul)
• Nobody can actually "make" you feel anything (rude but true)
• Sometimes the best parenting happens when you stop trying so hard
• Houses clean themselves when you finally chill out (science!)

Stay human and stay curious!

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