#56 - Boundaries Quick Tips # 7: When You Didn't See That Boundary Coming . .

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

• This episode is a quick bit of boundary truth! A listener wrote in asking about what to do when a very hard boundary comes seemingly out of nowhere. Tune in to learn what to do when you just didn't see that boundary coming, and get a refresher about non-negotiable boundaries.

  Biggest Takeaways From Episode #56:

  • We discuss what non-negotiable boundaries are and why they present a problem for open communication.
  • Learn the two types of non-negotiable boundaries and why that knowledge directs the response one should have in moving forward with another person in communication.
  • What is a knee-jerk reaction and how to determine if this represents a non-negotiable boundary or simply an automatic response to a situation?
  • Why you should simply accept another person's hard-stop boundary, even when you think it's extreme.
  • What is your "communication dance" when it comes to unexpected boundaries, and what part do you play? How does this affect your relationship?

  Highlights from Episode #56:

  • Welcome back to the show! Listen in for quick tips on what to do when a hard boundary comes out of nowhere. [00:40]
  • Hear the listener's question that inspired this episode. [01:45]
  • How to address non-negotiable boundaries. [05:25]
  • The two types of non-negotiable boundaries. [06:19]
  • How to address a “stash and blow” pattern when it comes to creating and establishing boundaries. [09:53]
  • Why knee-jerk reactions shouldn’t necessarily cause arguments. [11:30]
  • Change is difficult and painful. Why we try to change others rather than ourselves. [13:23]
  • Vicki gives her recommendations to the listener. [15:15]
  • Build trust in the fact that all limits will be respected. [17:20]
  • Disengage from the dance to gain clarity in your life and relationship. [17:45]
  • Changes require support. [19:29]

  Links and Resources:

  • Vicki Tidwell Palmer
  • Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
  • 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
  • Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 6: What to Expect When You Set Boundaries (+Non-Negotiable Boundaries)
  • Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 14: Taking Action! (Step 4 of the 5-Step Boundary Solution) Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode 49: Quick Tips #5: 4 SIgns Your Boundaries May Be Too Harsh