#54 - Above & Beyond Gratitude: Expressing Appreciation for the Ordinary and "Expected”

Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Expressing appreciation and gratitude communicates love to the important people in your life. Understanding how your loved ones receive — or want to receive — appreciation requires both a good talking and listening boundary. When is the last time you expressed gratitude for the small things? Are you confused about expressing gratitude for the "basics" in a relationship due to past hurts? Tune in and learn more about expressing appreciation and gratitude.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #54:

• Expressing gratitude for small things is essential to using and practicing the talking boundary. Depending on your situation you may also need to practice your listening boundary, the most difficult of the five boundaries.
• The best way to express more gratitude is to commit yourself to a daily habit and appreciating your people in the way they want to be appreciated. (Check out the 5 Love Languages Quiz created by Gary Chapman)
• Gratitude is, at its root, about grace. If you don’t feel that you have grace for your partner, then don’t do force yourself to express gratitude to her or him. Gratitude needs to align with your reality and should feel right to you.

Highlights from Episode #54:

• Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode about above and beyond gratitude, and remembering to express appreciation for ordinary things in life. [00:40]
• Why should you express appreciation for the day-to-day tasks? Vicki shares how this practice strengthens relationships. [02:08]
• Vicki explains how expressing appreciation relates to the talking boundary. [02:45]
• Vicki provides examples of expressing gratitude and appreciation in relationships. [05:38]
• Start with asking how the other person likes to be appreciated. Taking Gary Chapman’s Love Languages Quiz and reviewing his book can help provide some answers. [07:30]
• What if you are in a more difficult situation involving abuse, infidelity, or addiction? Vicki discuss how, or whether, to express gratitude in these difficult circumstances. [10:34]
• First focus on your own thoughts and feelings before expressing gratitude. [12:49]
• Expressing gratitude in a previously abusive or addicted relationship can include acknowledging times that the abusive party was kind, gentle, and loving. [13:46]
• Obtaining more information about your spouse and how they process acts of love and gratitude will help foster a better relationship with effective boundaries. [15:15]

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #2: What Good Boundaries Can Do For You + The 5 Types and 2 Functions of Boundaries
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #9: Introduction to the 5-Step Boundary Solution
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #37: The Listening Boundary Part I
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #39: The Listening Boundary Part II: How It Works
• Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #40: The Listening Boundary Part III: High Quality Listening = 5 Love Languages Quiz
• The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman