12 Lessons I Learned from Getting a Divorce

The Aaron LeBauer Show

I’m officially divorced!

We were together for 22 years, married for 17 and Yes we had been having issues, seen therapists, regularly checked in and talked through our challenges, even made it through covid, but then something shifted.

A few days after PT Biz con 2022 my wife at the time asked for a divorce.

The last 15 months have been some of the hardest up and down months in my life, especially 2 months directly after PT Biz Con Live 2023 this year.

I’m sure if you’ve been a long time listener you might have noticed a shift. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you guessed something was up.

Up until now I’ve been hesitant to share this because

#1 I didn’t believe it was really true and didn’t know how to talk about it or who I could without disparaging someone I knew and loved for 22 years

#2 I didn’t want to share anything until I knew that everything was complete, finalized and official because I didn’t want it to make my life even more difficult

#3 I didn’t want to make it all about me because my duty on this podcast and in my coaching business is to my subscribers, listeners and clients so it’s taken a while to start to process what happened in a way that my story can hopefully be helpful to you

I hope if you are currently in a committed relationship that you can learn a few things to make it even better

And if you are looking for your next relationship that you can learn something from me to make it even better and

If you are divorced or working through a divorce you know you are not alone, because I know I sure felt that way at times.

I have a lot of lessons to share in upcoming episodes about business and life and I feel like I need to share this with you so there is context as I try to pass along the lessons I’ve learned through this process in business and in life.

So far everything is chill, the kids are doing great, I’ve got 50/50 custody and have spent more time with them in the last year and a half and built a stronger bond with them, than I was able in the years before separating.

Lessons Learned:

1) When things are tough, lean on your friends and team

2) Systems to grow your business are vital. - what I learned and set up in BlackBelt helped me continue to grow my business when I didn't have the capacity to do more than the basic necessities.

3) Take your time - don’t rush the process. In NC you have to be separated a year before filing for a divorce. I’m glad I waited because what I learned along the way, changed my outcome and situation.

4) karma is a bitch

6) It's the tough things that you go through that will make you even stronger

7)Aligned in vision and tell the truth.

8) No and the truth doesn’t hurt my feelings

9) There is not “the one” there is “the one right now”

10) Make the decision and be ok with the other person’s emotional regulation

11) Find someone who supports you and doesn’t drain you

12) If you’re in a relationship, learn more about how to be better in a relationship, better lover, communicator and partner - listen to podcasts and personal development shows.

I have a clear and defined path forward. I’m no longer being held back in my business and now have a higher bar to earn even more money to ensure that the amount of $ I am paying out every month is inconsequential to me

I’ve already had a few close friends reach out to me this year for relationship advice.

It was weird because I don’t feel like I’m the best to give relationship advice, lol! but, they were both struggling in their marriage and I had just been through the worst of it.