104: How to talk to your loved ones about money with Financial Therapist, Aja Evans

Stuck - Expert Career Advice with Rob and Jamal

Episode Overview

In this episode, we explore how to have difficult conversations about money with family members, partners, and children. With expert guidance from financial therapist Aja Evans, we discuss setting boundaries, managing expectations, and dealing with the emotional baggage that comes with money talks.

Key Topics

• Having difficult money conversations with partners
• Setting and maintaining financial boundaries
• Managing money with kids and dependents
• Understanding your personal money story
• Dealing with guilt and shame around financial changes
• Building effective money systems

Key Takeaways

• Communication is crucial but needs to be handled thoughtfully - set the stage for important conversations rather than springing them on people
• Use "I feel" statements and center emotions when discussing financial changes
• Your money beliefs are shaped by your earliest experiences - understanding this helps navigate current challenges
• Setting boundaries isn't just about saying "no" to others - it's also about setting limits with yourself
• Be age-appropriate when discussing money with children
• Focus on experiences and long-term investing for kids rather than material goods

Practical Tips

1. For Money Conversations:
   • Choose the right time and setting
   • Lead with emotions and personal experience
   • Give partners grace to process information
   • Use "I feel" statements
   • Avoid springing sensitive conversations without warning
2. For Building Money Systems:
   • Start by understanding your feelings about money
   • Know what's coming in and going out monthly
   • Set up automated payments where possible
   • Check finances at least monthly (weekly preferred)
   • Use high-yield savings accounts for emergency funds
3. For Setting Boundaries:
   • Communicate changes in financial situation clearly
   • Offer alternative ways to show love/support beyond money
   • Remember that people's reactions belong to them
   • Be prepared for initial negative responses
   • Focus on quality time over financial support

Recommended Resources

Books mentioned:

• "Finance for the People" by Paco de Leon
• "Get Good with Money" by Tiffany Aliche
• "Money Out Loud" by Berna Anat
• "I Will Teach You to Be Rich" by Ramit Sethi
• "The Simple Path to Wealth" by J.L. Collins
• "Feel Good Finance" by Aja Evans

Apps mentioned:

• Monarch Money (budgeting app)
• Copilot (financial tracking)

About Our Guest

Aja Evans is the President of the Financial Therapy Association and author of "Feel Good Finance." As a financial therapist, she helps people understand their relationship with money and develop healthier financial habits. Her work focuses on the intersection of money, relationships, and personal growth.

Connect with Aja

• Instagram: @AJAetherapy
• LinkedIn: Aja Evans LMHC
• Website: ajaevanscounseling.com
• Book: "Feel Good Finance" (available at independent bookstores via Bookshop.org)

Get in Touch

Have a question about navigating money conversations with family? Email us at [e-mail] or send us a voice note.

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Produced by Rob Curtis, Jamal Stockton, and Ximena de la Tijera

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This show was produced by Rob Curtis, Jamal Stockton and Ximena de la Tijera