Turning boys into men P3

The David Alliance

Garth Heckman

7 steps to make boys men… and 7 dangers to keep them boys

Luke 2:52 stature, favor wisdom

1. Taking Responsibility:

Real men understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. This habit goes beyond simply admitting when they are wrong; it involves owning up to the consequences of their choices and working to make amends. They don't make excuses or blame others for their circumstances. Instead, they face challenges head-on and use their experiences as learning opportunities. By taking responsibility, they build credibility and trust with others, which is foundational for any meaningful relationship. This practice fosters maturity and accountability, setting the stage for personal and professional growth.

1A Video games. These are used to escape responsibility and relationships.

Without a great father figure it can seem impossible to live up to ones potential. You can feel overwhelmed and insecure. Enter video games. You can be a winner, you can start over, you can meet people and not really have to meet people, you can kill time….

You can master a video game and even stand out amongst your peers… you can’t master life. It will alwasy win in the long run. The best you can do is hope to learn as much from it as possible.

2. Developing Self-Discipline:

Self-discipline is a cornerstone habit that men cultivate in all areas of life. They set clear, achievable goals and establish effective routines to reach them. This involves prioritizing long-term benefits over short-term pleasures, such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, managing finances wisely, or advancing in their careers. By mastering self-discipline, they develop the ability to stay focused and resilient in the face of distractions and setbacks. This habit empowers them to make consistent progress toward their aspirations, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and purposeful life.

2A Poor habits are the key to a lack of self discipline. You don’t need discipline if you have great habits, and you don’t need great habits if you choose to just drift in life. But listen you need self discipline to cement the habit, but once it is there you got it. Poor habits help you explain why you can’t control the world…so instead you choose to let it control you…. And your excuses neve make up for poor habits. You want your boy to stay a boy? Let his early life of entropy build bad habits… and you will definitely create a boy for life!

3. Seeking Continuous Growth:

Boys to Men are committed to personal growth and lifelong learning. They actively seek new knowledge, skills, and experiences, understanding that growth is a continuous process. They embrace challenges and step out of their comfort zones to push their boundaries. This habit includes reading, attending workshops, learning new hobbies, or seeking mentorship. By constantly pushing themselves to improve, they become more adaptable and innovative, capable of navigating an ever-changing world. This commitment to growth not only enhances their own lives but also positively impacts those around them.

As a father what do your boys see you learning and developing? When there in school its easy for them to think they are learning the habit of learning… but that's where you have to push them and show them that learning outside of school is like you learning outside of your own job. You must always be developing yourself beyond your normal routine. I just took a First responders course… tomorrow im taking a course on AI… my boys see that in me, they practice the same things.

3A Stagnation or lacking growth poses only a threat to yourself, your family and your future. It is also the key to maintaining a joy LESS life. Growth can do a lot for you… and lacking in growth can also do a lot for you… but guaranteed it it will keep your son from learning what true joy is.

4. Cultivating Emotional Intelligence:

Here is a thought, men don't leave jobs they leave bosses. Emotional intelligence tells you when how and where to do that. Or it may tell you why people are leaving you?

Emotional intelligence is crucial for building strong, meaningful relationships. Men develop self-awareness, allowing them to understand their emotions and the impact they have on others. They regulate their emotions effectively, ensuring that their reactions are appropriate and constructive. By empathizing with others, they build deeper connections and navigate social complexities with ease. Effective communication and mature conflict resolution are key aspects of this habit, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding.

4A lacking emotional intelligence

Lacking emotional intelligence means you will never know yourself, understand yourself, and or even know how to grow and get out of life's pitfalls that you created in your own life. What's the saying again- an unexamined life is not worth living.

A lack of emotional intelligence leads to a higher degree of stress, burnout, anxiety, depression.

Have you ever talked to a young person who is at the end of their rope and life seems like it's going to end because they failed a class or the girlfriend broke up with them? They lack emotional intelligence.

A key to building emotional intelligence in your boys is to help them look at others around their life and problems they are dealing with. Ask them how their friends got into those problems and how their friends should deal with those problems and then ask them what they would do if they got into those problems.

Luke 2:52 stature, favor wisdom

5. Showing Respect:

Real men treat others with respect, regardless of their background or status. They listen attentively, value different perspectives, and treat everyone with dignity. This habit is about recognizing the inherent worth of every individual and behaving in ways that reflect this understanding. Respect is earned through actions, not demanded, and men who consistently show respect build strong, supportive networks both personally and professionally.

5A Respect isn’t earned, it is given until it is lost. I might not agree with you but I must learn to respect you. If I do not learn to respect I begin to adopt a mindset of elitism and arrogance. At the base of this is I am choosing to be dumb… Im unwilling to learn from you because I know better than you. Ultimately it translates into your healthy relationships, and even your body language. You isolate healthy helpful meaningful relationships from your life.

6. Practicing Integrity:

Integrity involves upholding high moral and ethical standards. Men who practice integrity act with honesty, honor, and consistency in their personal and professional lives. They value trust and are true to their word, ensuring that their actions align with their values and principles. This habit builds a reputation of reliability and respect, fostering trust and admiration from others.

6A Heres the problem at the core… you lie to yourself. You will never trust yourself to take chances to grow.

7. Embracing Leadership:

Leadership is not just about holding positions of power; it's about taking initiative and inspiring others. Men who embrace leadership make decisions confidently, take responsibility for their outcomes, and motivate those around them to achieve their full potential. They lead by example, demonstrating the behaviors and attitudes they wish to see in others. This habit involves empowering others, contributing positively to families, workplaces, and communities, and striving to create a better environment for all.

Incorporating these habits transforms boys into men by fostering maturity, responsibility, and the ability to positively influence their surroundings.

People who learn to lead without titles will always be sought out.

7A if you cant lead yourself, you won’t lead anyone else. I personally believe way too much is spoken about leadership, and far to less on personal leadership.

What does stress come from? It comes from not living up to your values… but if you cant self lead you will never live up to your values.