The Water Cooler (Fast) - The New Printer (Series 003, Episode 006)

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The Water Cooler (Fast)

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post.

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

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Episode 6 - The New Printer (Fast)

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Featuring the vocal talents of Sophie Iafrate (Susan). (Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com'),

Keith : Good morning Susan, I see you are admiring the new printer.

Susan: Hi Keith. Yes, it is about time we had a new one and, with all the new features on this one, I think it will make life much easier.

K: Absolutely, especially as this one is voice-activated.

S: Voice-activated? Are you sure? I am sure I didn’t see anything like that in the instruction manual when I was reading it.

K: No one actually reads instruction manuals. You need to just have a practice, a bit of trial and error. It is scientifically proven that there is no substitute for hands-on experience; reading instruction manuals is not going to do you any good. Take it from me.

S: I will feel really silly talking to a printer. It doesn’t seem right.

K: Oh Susan, you need to embrace the future! Just use a nice assertive voice and be clear with your instructions and the printer will do whatever you ask.

S: (clears throat) Print the document I have just sent to you, in colour on double sided paper.

K: Don’t forget to say please, Susan, where are your manners?

S: Oops, sorry. Please print the document I have just sent to you, in colour on double-sided paper. Printer? Did you hear? Print! In colour! Ugh I hate technology, I must be doing something wrong.

Janet: Morning all. What on earth are you doing Susan?

S: I just can’t get this thing to print.

J: Well you’re not going to get anywhere by shouting at it, it can’t hear you.

S: But I thought it was voice activated… I was just practising with it…trying to get some hands-on experience and…learn through trial and error.

J: Voice activated? Don’t be daft, we’re a sales company, not NASA.

K: I often see you struggling with technology Susan, and I hate to see this…waste of company time. I think maybe you should take one of the lunchtime IT refresher courses that the IT department run.

J: Good idea, Keith. Are you free this lunchtime Susan?

S: Well, yes, but I…

J: Great, it’s settled, I’ll speak to IT to arrange it.

K: Ha! Ha! Ha!

S: Very funny, Keith. That’s my lunchtime wasted, I was looking forward to an hour of peace and quiet.

K: Got you hook, line and sinker…Ha! Ha! Ha!

Later …

K (to himself): It’s been ages since I last used a laminating machine, I didn’t even realize we had one in the office. What’s this? Instructions for using the touch screen features of this machine. Oh, nice try Susan, but you can’t fool me that easily. She must have hidden the keyboard somewhere around here.

Janet: Keith, whatever are you doing?

K: Hi Janet, I’ve just got some laminating to do.

J: Yes, I guessed as much, but, what I meant was, why are you rummaging around underneath the table?

K: I was just looking for the keyboard that goes with this machine. I think Susan must have hidden it somewhere.

J: Why would she have done that? In fact, I don’t think you need a keyboard for this machine, it’s touch-screen isn’t it? Susan, can you come here a second?

S: Sure!

J: Keith’s having trouble with this machine; you’ve not hidden the keyboard have you?

S: No, there’s no keyboard, it’s touch-screen. You just click here [beep] and then here [beep] put the thing you wanted to laminate here and then click “go”. [beep] … And it’s done. Simple! In fact, the instructions are right here in front of you.

J: Honestly Keith, sometimes I wonder if you walk around with your eyes shut. I am surprised you can’t work out how to use the laminating machine, though, considering you are always saying how you are a technophile and even Susan, who claims to not understand technology at all, is an expert at it. Maybe I should send you on an IT course as well as Susan.

K: Oh no Janet, there is no call for that; I wouldn’t want to put you out.

J: Not at all. It is important that you understand how to use all the machines correctly; it saves time in the long run. Having said that, from her talent with the laminator it’s obvious that Susan learns best from hands-on experience so I’m not sure the course would be much use for her, she’ll get the hang of the new printer soon enough. I’ll tell IT to expect you instead. Thanks for your help Susan.

K: Yes, thanks for your help, Susan.

S: I’m always happy to help! Enjoy your lunch Keith.