4: Support vs Accommodation, How to Help Your Anxious Child Without Feeding the Anxiety

Do Less Parenting

Support vs Accommodation, How to Help Your Anxious Child Without Feeding the Anxiety

Robyn breaks down the difference between support and accommodation, showing how small shifts in language and response reduce distress and build skills.

In this episode, therapist and mom Robyn Isman explains why the words we use and the actions we take matter when a child is anxious. She defines accommodation as anything we do or avoid doing that lowers distress in the short term but keeps anxiety in charge over time. She then contrasts this with true support, which helps a child face hard moments, feel safe, and practice coping skills.

Robyn shares everyday examples from home and school. She talks about what we say when a child refuses to do something, how we respond when worries spike before an activity, and the ways we can step back while still staying connected. She offers practical language shifts, such as moving from promising certainty to naming the feeling and pointing to the next brave step.

By the end of this episode, you will understand how intentional “doing less” helps create more independence and less anxiety. You will also leave with a simple way to check your own patterns: ask yourself if you are easing distress right now or helping your child build confidence for the future.

Shared Resources:

• Follow Robyn on Instagram @parentingtheanxiouschild
• Parenting the Anxious Child Membership
• Sign up for Robyn’s Newsletter and find additional resources