Season 1, Episode 85: Getting To Know Arik, A Greek Stealing Sexton

The Hate Napkin

Carol speaking and fielding questions from the THN crew was so much fun. Arik broke out the hot sauce and let us give it to him. Arik shared the birth of The Hate Napkin, his first girlfriend experience, and his propensity to steal from the self-checkout. He told us how he gets wood, and no one seems to want to look at it or scan it. He never stole as a child and the hot sauce defense is a new one that we may see again in a future presidential administration.

Arik also shared the time he lost an arm wrestling match or "let the man win" and claims it was because he was going to shit himself. As a young student, he admitted to cheating once on his self-graded homework, but his teachers didn't believe him. Carol did her older brother's homework and, of course, was the one who got in trouble. It appears cheating has become more formalized in education, and there is no need to learn civics when cheating is ingrained.

Arik then shared his experience as a sexton, being the caretaker of the church, and what an awkward walk of shame it was. He welcomes everyone into his holy places with open arms as long as the lights are on.

Golden Corral and chain buffets could have their own special, but Paulie doesn't know when to let Arik end the show. Riots at Golden Corral show that people in America are way too on edge. Relax, folks, and get your angst out with things you hate at [e-mail].

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