146. How to move out of old emotional patterns and bring more of your authentic self into your work with Christie Pearl

Private Practice Elevation with Daniel Fava

In this episode of The Private Practice Elevation Podcast, EMDR therapist and consultant Christy Pearl delves into the impact of childhood emotional patterns on our professional lives.

She emphasizes that most people have experienced some form of insecure attachment or emotional abandonment in their early family life, which can influence decision-making and the way we show up in our careers.

Christy explains that these patterns can manifest in various ways, such as struggling with boundaries, handling money, and feeling reactive rather than responsive in professional settings.

She highlights the importance of doing our own healing work and cultivating self-compassion and curiosity to overcome these patterns.

Christy also emphasizes the role of the body in healing and suggests that accessing our unconscious material is crucial for aligning our thinking brain with our emotional and physical memory.

If you’re feeling stuck, under-confident as a leader, or you’ve seen how certain situations trigger you in your private practice, this episode will help guide you toward healing and growth.

Key Takeaways:

• Unresolved emotional patterns from childhood can impact decision-making and the way we show up in our careers.

• Many people are surprised to discover that these patterns also affect their professional lives.

• Doing our own healing work is essential for showing up in a grounded and present manner.

• Cultivating self-compassion and curiosity can help us overcome negative self-talk and shame.

• Accessing our unconscious material is crucial for aligning our thinking brain with our emotional and physical memory.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• www.christiepearl.com

This Episode is Brought To You By

Alma is on a mission to simplify access to high-quality, affordable mental health care by giving providers the tools they need to build thriving in-network private practices. When providers join Alma, they gain access to insurance support, teletherapy software, client referrals, automated billing and scheduling tools, and a vibrant community of clinicians that come together for education, training, and events.

Alma gives clinicians the tools they need to build thriving private practices. When you join their insurance program, you can get credentialed within 45 days, and access enhanced reimbursement rates with major payers. They also handle all of the paperwork, from eligibility checks to claims submissions, and guarantee payment within two weeks of each appointment.

In addition to their insurance program, Alma offers timesaving tools and administrative support — so you can spend less time on paperwork, and more time delivering great care to your clients.

Learn more about building a thriving private practice with Alma at helloalma.com/elevation.

About Christie Pearl

Christie Pearl is a Certified EMDR Therapist and EMDR Consultant in private practice with over 18 years of experience in the mental health field. She specializes in EMDR Intensive Therapy for Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families who are struggling with work stress and performance anxiety. She helps Adult Children create a healthier relationship with work so that they can own their brilliance and be who they want to be today, instead of who they had to be as children. Her mission is to inspire, encourage and equip Adult Children on their journey to reconnecting with their authentic selves.

The Impact of Childhood Emotional Patterns on Professional Life The Impact on Parenting and Personal Relationships

Pearl highlights that these unresolved emotional patterns not only affect our professional lives but also spill over into our parenting and personal relationships.

She explains that many individuals who have experienced emotional immaturity or dysfunction in their own upbringing struggle to show up as the parents they want to be. They may feel guilt and shame for not being able to break free from these patterns and may find themselves repeating the same dynamics with their own children.

"The best thing you can do for your kids is what you're sitting here with me doing right now for yourself. And in my experience, most people, at least most adult children that I work with, have an easier time accessing that inner loving place within themselves for their kids or for other people. And it's a matter of learning how to turn some of that compassion and grace towards yourself." - Christy Pearl

Navigating Emotional Patterns in the Professional World

Pearl acknowledges that running a business can be a catalyst for uncovering and addressing these emotional patterns. As business owners, we are faced with various challenges, including client relationships, financial decisions, and time management.

These challenges often trigger our unresolved emotional wounds and can lead to reactivity, self-sabotage, and difficulty in setting boundaries.

"I think there's a really good reason for that, which is we might have adapted early on in our early life by really learning how to compartmentalize... So we grow up and we continue functioning like that in our work. And whether you leave the house or not to go to your job at this point, we bring it all to work with us." - Christy Pearl

The Importance of Self-Awareness and Reparenting

To navigate these emotional patterns in the professional world, Pearl emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and doing our own inner work. She encourages individuals to cultivate curiosity and gentleness towards themselves, recognizing that healing is a process that requires patience and self-compassion.

By addressing the unconscious material stored in our nervous systems, we can align our thinking brain, emotional memory, and physical sensations to respond from a grounded and authentic place.

"I think it's about doing your own work... It's not just a mental exercise. We've got to get into the body because part of what our brain can do is conscious. And then we've got all this unconscious stuff that's hanging around in our nervous system... If we don't get down into that unconscious material and allow ourselves to bring that up into our conscious minds where we can deal with it, then our thinking brain and our emotional physical memory never match." - Christy Pearl

Conclusion

In conclusion, addressing childhood emotional patterns and their impact on our professional lives is a transformative journey that requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and a commitment to doing the necessary inner work.

By recognizing and healing our unresolved emotional wounds, we can break free from repetitive patterns, set healthy boundaries, and show up authentically in our careers. The process of reparenting ourselves and cultivating emotional safety within can lead to profound personal and professional growth.

As we continue to explore the intersection of our personal and professional lives, it is essential to approach our careers with curiosity, gentleness, and a willingness to confront our emotional patterns. By doing so, we can create a more fulfilling and authentic professional journey, one that aligns with our true desires and values.

The path to healing and growth may be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. Let us embrace the opportunity to transform ourselves and our professional lives, one step at a time.