Is this real life? There is no spoon!

Porch Drunkies

It seems like I fell asleep a month and a half ago and didn't wake up. And the people are telling me, "but you ARE awake!" And the government is saying "I'm not saying that you're awake or asleep, but I'm telling you that whatever you ARE, you'll never experience the opposite ever again. So, whatever we ARE at this moment in time, we decided that we need to voice our experience with the rest of the world. We're sorry. Or you're welcome. We're not going to tell you which one is true. Again, is this REAL life?!?!?!