45. Dating Shameless + How to Transcend Shame with Jessica Stahl

Flirtations! with Benjamin, the Flirt Coach

On the show today, we are joined by Jessica Stahl, creator of the indelible @vanillcooldance, to have an empowering conversation with us all about shame.

Indeed, shame is an incredibly strong emotion that can hold us back from fully embracing our authentic selves. Shame can keep us repeating the same patterns of beliefs and behaviors, and affect how we show up for ourselves. Shame can certainly impact our dating lives and how we form connections, too!

But what if we could date shamelessly?

Well, that's exactly what we're gonna do today!

In this episode, we explore the origins of shame, how it manifests in our dating experiences, and most importantly, how to overcome it. We'll discuss practical strategies for recognizing and addressing shame, and offer insights into building confidence and self-acceptance so you date - and connect - more authentically and fearlessly.

So, whether you're struggling with self-doubt, past relationship wounds, or societal pressures, this episode is for you.

Now let's meet Jessica and date shamelessly!

Then don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Flirtations on your favorite podcast platform, and share this episode to spread BFE - big flirt energy, all over the world!

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About our guest: Vanillacooldance is a taboo-breaking cartoon and global community of over 72,000, founded by Jessica Stahl. Named the 2024 Sex & Relationships bCreator of the Year, Vanillacooldance sparks fearless conversations about sex, relationships, and living life unapologetically. Through bold cartoons and her newsletter SHAMELESS, Jessica tackles the topics we’re all secretly craving to discuss but too scared to say out loud, creating a space for people to reclaim their shameless selves. From viral street art to empowering workshops and brand collaborations, Vanillacooldance has evolved into a movement challenging societal norms. Jessica’s groundbreaking work was recognized by Cannes Lions, who named her one of 19 global female creative leaders in their 2024 See It Be It program, selected from over 1,400 applicants.

You can connect with Jessica on Substack, vanillacooldance.substack.com, and Instagram, instagram.com/vanillacooldance.

About your host: Benjamin is a flirt and dating coach sharing his love of flirting and BFE - big flirt energy, with the world! A lifelong introvert and socially anxious member of society, Benjamin now helps singles and daters alike flirt with more confidence, clarity, and fun!

As the flirt is all about connection, Benjamin helps the flirt community (the flirties!) date from a place that allows the value of connection in all forms - platonic, romantic, and with the self - to take center stage and transform lives for greater healing and deeper connections.

You can connect with Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok, stream the Flirtations Flirtcast everywhere you listen to podcasts (like right here!), and find out more about working together 1:1 here.

💗 Happy flirting!