I'm sorry, I need to apologize. I'm guilty.

Enchanted Beast Podcast

In this episode, Ella shares her take on the differences between saying "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" and how understanding those differences can lead to more #intimate communication between #women and #men in their #relationships.

KEY POINTS OF INTEREST

• When a person says, they are simply expressing how they feel about a situation.
• An apology isn’t filled with regret and/or remorse; although it may be, in general, it’s a formal admittance of a wrong we’ve done.
• In a psychological study, it was found that men and women apologize for about 81% of the time when they feel they’ve done something offensive or wrong.
• EVERYONE HAS BLIND SPOTS.

[Nanny]: "Honey, de white man is de ruler of everything as fur as Ah been able tuh find out. Maybe it’s some place way off in de ocean where de black man is in power, but we don’t know nothin’ but what we see. So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man tuh pick it up. He pick it up because he have to, but he don’t tote it. He hand it to his womenfolks. De nigger woman is de mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see.“ There Eyes Were Watching God. ZNH

• Women apologize from a place of empathy and responsibility
• Men apologize from a place of self-justification and preservation
• Focus—take responsibility for personal actions without causing or feeling guilt
• Facts—Event, item of information, or state of affairs existing, observed, or known to have happened, and which is confirmed or validated to such an extent that it is considered 'reality.’ BusinessDictionary.com
• Fight: in reality, you both want the same outcome
• Fair—marked by impartiality and honesty: free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism

RESOURCES

• https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/01/04/sorry-language-shamers-but-women-just-dont-need-your-new-email-policing-app/
• https://www.gracepointwellness.org/109-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/article/55760-reptilian-brain-of-survival-and-mammalian-brain
• https://patch.com/illinois/darien-il/the-male-reptilian-brain
• https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1246219/Why-men-really-feel-guilt-women.html
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201503/the-surprising-upside-guilt-and-shame
• https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2013/02/peering-into-our-blind-spots/
• https://www.uschamberfoundation.org/blog/post/are-men-intentionally-insensitive
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/20855900/

UPDATES AND HAPPENINGS

Starting in November, I’ll be producing Enchanted Ecstasy; a weekly 10 to 15-minute podcast where I read adult contemporary romance short stories and erotic poetry written by yours truly for my #Patreon patrons. I’ll let you all know when my Patreon will launch.

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