17th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival, Part 2 (House of Usher, The Invisible Ray, Jennifer, Killer Party, The Loved Ones, Malignant, Nightmare, The Other, The Phantom Carriage)

A Cure for the Common Craig

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It's time to rejoin the October Halloween horror action, in progress, with part two of the 17th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival! If you could choose three people to hang out and have dinner with during the spooky season, Edgar Allan Poe, Roger Corman and Vincent Price would probably be ideal. Unless, of course, everything is literally crumbling down around you. Which certainly seems to be the case with the House of Usher (1960). Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi might take exception with not being invited, but they have their own problems to contend with in The Invisible Ray (1936). And it's sad, but Jennifer (1978) may not be an ideal guest for everyone, especially if she arrives with two handfuls of serpents. Or a giant snake emerges and bites someone's head off. That's probably going to ruin the evening. Poor Paul Bartel would enjoy a fine evening of dining, but he's obligated to attend the dreadful Killer Party (1986). Princess Lola, and her reluctant date, regret to inform you that they have a night of dancing and torture, which seems like a priority in The Loved Ones (2009). Should you invite Maddie? Well, it would probably be okay. Unless she starts having visions of death. And you see some creepy thing that seems to be running around backwards. If that happens, you may want to move to a different country, because things are about to get Malignant (2021)! You could invite Janet, but it's not her birthday. And let's be honest, she's not much fun unless someone is getting stabbed. Otherwise, her paranoia is kind of a Nightmare (1964). Holland and Niles probably wouldn't make the best guests. They won't wash their hands and wouldn't sit still long enough to actually eat or have a conversation. Plus, there seem to be a lot of unfortunate accidents while they're around, as evidenced in The Other (1972). And it's a good thing that it's not New Year's Eve. Not that you would necessarily anticipate anyone dying at the dinner party. But if it happens, I suppose that you could always summon The Phantom Carriage (1921).