We realize you probably don't want to think about the Bears right now but this ep is going to change your mind. As luck would have it, Dan and Bill magically discover they have a similar personal issue occurring right now, and they are about to go on a similar journey together. That is more important than Santos getting his worm-burning kick blocke…

Three OCs in 11 games seems like something bad franchises do. Haven't we done this show before? Maybe twice? Shane Waldron was terrible but is there any doubt Green Bay is going to put the negative spotlight back on Flus and his horrible tenure? Just protect Caleb, FFS. And let's have some fun with the return of Keep An Eye On Dan. --- Support this…

Rick Feelsmen took over Twitter Spaces on Election Day and his predictions for what's to come for America and the Chicago Bears are a must-listen. Plus maybe he'll slide in his three hot picks for this weekend? Special thanks to Elon Musk for his Spaces technology providing speaking guests an involuntary + thick lisp from time to time. Happy (?) El…

Welp, that Cardinals effort suggests the Flus has lost the locker room. The fan base already hated him but the Hail Mary probably sealed his fate and there's no real reason to keep him around anymore. The Illini football squad keeps kicking Bill Doinks in the noots. What are good teams? Can someone please introduce them to us? --- Support this podc…

Honestly, this episode might be the medicine you need after Sunday if you are a long-suffering Bears fan. Bill has been buried in familiar feelings of despair since Washington's Hail Mary landed and he's unsure if he's ready to talk about it. Can Dan (and/or Grover) cure him? Right on cue, Rick Feelsmen went 0-3 with his hot picks, the Illini got t…

Football in Chicagoland is so hot you’re going to need to guard all of your unmentionables as we go into a weekend of huge games. Jayden Daniels better not sit this one out, we’ve been looking forward to Caleb going toe-to-toe with the No 2 pick since Week 1. We’ll warm up your trousers for the headline NFC matchup and take Bill’s temperature about…

The Bears are riding high and taking a three game winning streak into the bye. The boys of Zero Doinks are taking a mini-bye with them, with the voice of Bill Doinks guiding you home this week. Rick tries to stay hot, the B1G has huge games ahead and we all get to sit back and watch one, and hopefully two, NFC North teams lose this weekend. Caleb i…

Two game winning streaks aren't super common around here. Three games? You'd have to go back to 2020. We're ready for one of those again. Are the Bears? Let's preview a big swing game in London against the Jags, after recapping a sensual win over Carolina. Plus tons more, including the 10-5 Rick Feelsmen. #zerodoinks #rickfeelsmen #hamms #grover #g…

The Bears are back to .500 with no signs of ever going back under. Dan Doinks was on the field on Sunday pregame for the Rams game, and has stories for days about his experience. Thank god he and B are alive. There is no question the Bears are back, possibly all the way, after Sunday's win against the Rams, especially with the Red Rifle looming for…

That loss still hurts days after, but we will talk you through it, loyal listener, and hope to make you crack a smile or two along the way. So many special guests this week, including Grover, Rick Feelsmen x2 and so much more. At least Illini football is all the way back? Thank you for bearing through a very familiar start to the season. We do love…

There is nothing to worry about. The Texans might end up winning the Super Bowl and the Bears took them down to the final minute, on the road, in front of a very sweaty Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth. A four game winning streak starts this weekend in Indianapolis as Caleb and the offense are close to clicking unlike anything Chicago has ever see…

The Bears have never lost a game in the 2024 season and there is a chance they never will. Rookie QB Caleb Williams had a shaky debut, and Dan Doinks was there to see it. Is he concerned or has he already shaken it off? You'll hear from him and ZD's resident gambling shark Rick Feelsmen. You won't hear from Bill Doinks, at least directly. But he'll…

We have been waiting our whole lives to have a quarterback worth getting excited for, worth putting our hopes into with the idea there will be a payoff. Finally, the end of the beginning starts on Sunday with Caleb's first real game. But first, we'll wrap a bow around the Hard Knocks experience as Episode 5 was pretty great, at least in the mind of…

Episode 4 of Hard Knocks is now out for our enjoyment and the boys of Zero Doinks break it down for you like only they can. Can HBO Max find other storylines besides Flus, Caleb and the Ferret King? Maybe. Kind of. We’re almost living in a world where the football is real, and we’re here to get you through the next few days. Plus a quick look at th…

Episode 3 of Hard Knocks might be the best of the season thus far. We hope you jump right in after you’ve watched, so you can listen to the often perverse perspective of two middle-aged Bears fans who are just trying to survive until Week 1 of the 2024 season. Thanks for listening. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/z…

After HBO Max finally decided to upload this ep an hour late, which put Dan Doinks an hour past his evening feeding time, we took notes on Ep2 and bring it to you with spoilers left and right. The bottom line with this episode, in our humble opinion - protect Theo at all costs. And cut Velus Jones yesterday. --- Support this podcast: https://podcas…

If you haven't watched Ep1 of Hard Knocks yet, please revisit our insanity shortly thereafter. This is clearly the place to get a unique take and an instant Hard Knocks review of the first episode of Chicago Bears "Winds of Change.” It was an absolute doozy. Dive right in for our unorthodox perspective. #canadianeagle --- Support this podcast: http…

After a hiatus, the boys of Zero Doinks are back as the Bears begin camp in Lake Forest. Caleb looks amazing already and there is no chance our predictions of 11-12 Bears victories will fall short. Injuries are scarce, the vibes are hot and the Bears are all the way back. Dan expresses some nerves about the upcoming Hard Knocks season, of which we …

Dan Doinks avoided schedule leaks all day and he's ready for all 17 Bears games to be teased to him one by one this week. Will Bill have the beloved at 17-0? Will Dan shock us all with over-the-moon optimism? How will Caleb fare against NFC North foes this year? We dive so so deep and put our sizeable necks on the line with hot takes and prediction…

Caleb Williams is officially a Bear and he has already taken over the team and city. He's our weird QB and it is about time we have a dude who does not give a F. With his new WR weapon Rome Odunze, clearly this new era cannot and will not fail. The boys of Zero Doinks chat through each of the five new Bears rookies, with a hat tip to The Average Ch…

Bonus ep of Zero Doinks as the Illini march into Boston for their first Sweet 16 appearance in nearly 20 years. Will Bill Doinks be there in the flesh to witness a potential run to the Final 4? Odds are decent. Plus Dan Doinks pops his head in from Florida to give his take on the Justin Fields trade and the Bears current state of being all the way …

We are sitting here, as free agency is beyond hot, waiting for a big move from Ryan Poles and the Bears. Depth is great (that's what she said) but where is the star power? It's time, Bears. Wow us. Also, does anyone want Justin Fields? Are we still Team Caleb? Plus, March Madness is just around the corner. Thank you for hanging with us for SIX SEAS…

We didn't die, we just needed time to digest the reality that the Flus is back. At least there's a new offensive playcaller in the house now in Shane Waldron, and at least he has had success in the league. But what's the plan for 2024 and beyond? We look at how free agency could shape Ryan Poles's options in the draft and we finally pick a QB lane,…

Incredibly, the Bears land the number one pick for the second-straight year thanks to the 20/20 vision of GM Ryan Poles. Is Poles going to ride with Matt Eberflus, Luke Getsy and Justin Fields in 2024? Or will the opportunity to clean house be too enticing? Perhaps Week 18 at Green Bay, with a chance to ruin their season, will carry some weight one…

Well, that weekend of football was quite disheartening. We try and find words that make us feel better about the present while keeping an eye on the near and long future. We also try and figure out what Tiny Tim's deal is. Plus tons more. Thanks for listening, it's still worth it we think. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/po…

This is an absolute squirrely one, though we mix in actual Bears talk. The Bears are actually giving us hope and a vision for what they can develop into. They somehow find themselves one game out of the wild card yet still would be drafting fifth (and first, thanks Carolina) if the season were to end today. Dan and Bill are jazzed for what is going…

The Bears had the week off but the NFL rolled on, with most local fans focusing on the Panthers continued cold streak, inching us all closer to the No 1 pick in 2024. People are getting nervous about Jordan Love possibly being really good? Dan returns to the lab this week, as does Rick Feelsmen with his hot hot picks. Bill pays his #hat game debt t…

That was a Matt Eberflus masterclass, wasn't it? Are we done with him? I think we're done with him. Justin Fields and the Bears looked pretty good against Super Bowl contender Detroit until that smug bastard had to make some difficult changes. Bill Doinks talks all about it today because Dan is away from the show for holiday reasons this week. Enjo…

We are hopeful that Justin Fields will be back this week because we are sick of watching Tyson Bagent play (no offense). Dan might have severe diarrhea this episode so stay tuned if that backfires at some point. We wonder about the bedroom activities of the Muppets and their puppeters. Plus much more. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.sp…

Dan and Bill do not link up "live" for this episode but we bring you all sorts of audio nuggets to get you oh so hyped for Bears-Panthers. We're getting a little concerned that the Bears are never going to play Justin Fields ever again. Thank you to Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank for your contributions this week. --- Support this podcast: https…

Tyson Bagent and the Bears came back to earth on Sunday night against the Chargers but that feels like years ago. We focus more on the acquisition of Montez Sweat from Washington and one of us is very confused about the timing and logic behind it. Plus tons more, including fingering the coach de jour to replace Matt Eberflus as well as another rive…

The Bears, shockingly, have won two of three, this time coming behind a solid performance by rookie QB Tyson Bagent. Can the Bears make it three of four this Sunday night against the Chargers? Vegas says no. We say .... ? Plus the debut of our coaching segment within a segment, the return of Keep An Eye on Dan, a fresh tune plus tons of surprises a…

With Justin Fields now having a busted right thumb, what more is there to even talk about for the 1-5 Bears? So we decided to not talk too much Bears. Enjoy, maybe? 0:00 - 02:51 - Apologies to Cowboy Junkies. 02:51 - 03:45 - What's on tap tonight? 03:45 - 29:06 - Bears-Vikings Review. Fields is hurt. Bagent is whatever. Do we need to start looking …

After nearly a full calendar year of losses, the Bears have finally won a football game and the boys of Zero Doinks don't know what to do with themselves. Is this sustainable? Did Dick Butkus have to die for our sins? We discuss the beauty in Washington and look ahead to the Vikings coming to town on Sunday for what could lead to an actual winning …

I mean, how in the world did the Bears blow that one? Still curious where the next win will come from as a short week awaits this Thursday at a decent Washington squad, led by Jan 6th mastermind in DC Jack Del Rio. This episode is a weird one, apologies in advance. Hope, at the least, you enjoy the intro song courtesy of Doctor Dan Doinks and Daugh…

The sun hasn't come out yet this week as we were reminded that the Bears are a football team that continues to rip out our soul, week after week, year after year. Is there any hope for any of us, being that it's only going into Week 4 of the 2023 season? What are we even hoping for at this point? Is JF1 ruined completely? Is anyone worth keeping ar…

As Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs await our 0-2 Bears, some tough questions have to be pondered. One of us is ready to take a stand on something, one of us is not. We do not spend too much time on the Bucs game and instead move onto the next opponent who we hope to god the Bears can actually hang with and not embarrass the whole fandom for once. Lo…

As much as we'd love to ignore the Bears-Packers Week 1 game, and whatever Luke Getsy drew up after months of preperation, we'll talk about it, but we'll focus more on our experience regarding the joint-smoking professional chef next to us at the tailgate, and other observations. After another contest of 'Keep An Eye on Dan," focus switches quickly…

The excuses are over, Rodgers no longer can hurt us, it is time for the Bears and Packers to switch roles after 14 years of beatings. Week 1 is finally here and our pants are involuntarily flying off our bodies thinking about what the trajectory of this team could be once they get rolling. Come with us for the ride. 00:00 - 02:45 - Compliments and …

A mixed bag for the Bears this preseason as they head into Saturday's finale against Buffalo. Two straight years of preseason injuries on the offensive line, including the recurring theme of a ding-y Teven Jenkins, leading us to wonder what's next? Roster cut down date is a week away and the Bears find themselves with a good problem to have at Edge…

The Bears finally have a dude that eats quarterbacks in Yannick Ngakoue. Took long enough but hey, it's only August. Real fake games are coming and we're here to ignore most of it. Are the Bears all the way back? Our yearly ritual of justifying The Athletic's QB Tiers article has arrived. How much are we pretending to not care about what's happenin…

It's been so long since our last episode and we missed you so much. The Bears are mere days from getting back together to start their climb out of the NFL basement. Justin Fields had a football camp today that Bill's son went to and wow, you have to hear the inside scoop that was learned. Will Fields merely answer some doubts this season or will he…

The 2023 Bears schedule came out tonight and as best as Dan and Bill Doinks can tell, there are no losses here. Is this the year Chicago rises in the NFC North? They have an old rival with a new signal-caller coming to town on September 10th to kick off the undefeated season. Bill and Dan both missed the schedule release show and are going through …

The 2023 NFL draft is over and the Bears made out pretty well, wouldn't you say? 10 freshly-plucked lads, featuring a giant of a man in OT Darnell Wright. We dive deep as only we can, matching each new player with the perfect comp for you to consider. How did divisional rivals Green Bay, Detroit and Minnesota fare? And what's next for our boys in n…

Draft week is finally here. The boys of Zero Doinks cannot stand mock drafts, as you may or may not know, but in order to understand the want to do such things, one must at some point participate. Dan and Bill go through the Bears picks as if they're a drunk Ryan Poles and the results are .... not amazing. Who do we want the Bears to actually take?…

Season five of Zero Doinks is underway and the Bears are so back. We dive into the huge trade of the number one pick to Carolina for a haul that includes WR DJ Moore. Should we apologize for our level of arousal? What do we want to see at pick nine, now? SO many picks. But that's not even the news of the day, now that free agency is wet and wild an…

These 20 minutes will tell you all you need to know about the boys of Zero Doinks and their special guests. You will hear the voices and inappropriate nature of Dan and Bill Doinks plus Rick Feelsmen, Coach Cuse, Greasetank Frank and Darren from Dublin. Enjoy the best moments from all 32 episodes of Season 4 of Zero Doinks.--- Support this podcast:…

The NFL season has come to an end and so shall Season 4 of Zero Doinks, but not before an explosive season finale. Rick Feelsmen and Coach Cuse join Dan and Bill Doinks in a special subterranean location in the suburbs of Chicago and a lot of ground is covered and Hamm's are consumed. Will additional special guests adorn your ears? A new musical tu…

Could Week 18 have gone any better? Bears end up with the #1 pick of the 2023 draft thanks to Lovie Smith's Texans stunning win over Indy. The Packers lose a shocker at home to Detroit to knock them out of the playoffs, while the Lions have to watch Seattle sneak into the number one seed thanks to a tiebreaker. The regular season is over, thank the…

One (pointless?) game to go this weekend against the Vikings. To play Fields or to sit him out, that's one of the questions on our mind. We don't really acknowledge the Lions game because who cares. We, along with Bears Nation, are huge Lovie Smith fans this weekend as the Texans can gift wrap the top pick to Chicago, assuming the Bears don't light…