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Chris Coursey brings you the THRIVEtoday podcast, full of real-life stories of encouragement and transformation from people using relational skills every day! www.thrivetoday.org
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Join therapists Jerry Sander & Kristy Gaisford as we look at both the hard truths, and joys, that accompany intimate relationships. Our perspective is personal, practical and based on experience: we've both been married, divorced, and married again after finding great partners for our second marriages. (Both of us had four children apiece in our first marriages; Kristy has four step-children in her second one). Both of us maintain relationally-focused private therapy practices, focusing on c ...
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Chris tells the story of a time of uncertainty and despair in his life, and how practice with relational skills, including the skill of appreciation and Godsight, helped him stay relational, remember who he was and not feel alone. 🔗 Watch our Stories of Emotions webinar on YouTube. NEW 'emotions' resources are coming in 2025! 🔗 Learn more about Pre…
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Send us a text Triumphing over technical difficulties for today's episode, Kristy and Jerry talk about that long ride home after couples' sessions. Variations on it are proposed, along with a reaffirmation of the purpose of couples' therapy. Hints are dropped about a 2026 event.توسط Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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Hear from 4 of our friends as they each share their love for the skill of appreciation and how it has taught them to continue to find joy in past memories. 🔗 Visit our Skill 4 page for more info and resources and highlighted podcast episodes on Appreciation. Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Skill 18 helps you know what is needed when, for yourself and for the people around you. If you, or a loved one, are stuck in pain and big emotions, there are things you can do to figure out where in your brain you are stuck and how to help! 🔗 Visit our Skill 18 page for more info and resources. 🔗 Learn more about Track 3, part of our in-person Pre…
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Today, we listen to a story from our friend Rebecca who addressed feelings of dread with the skill of appreciation. If you are struggling with the world's uncertainty, are unable to enjoy the present moment, or are just looking for more joy and peace, we hope you find encouragement in Rebecca’s story. 🔗 Visit our Skill 4 page for more info and reso…
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Chris shares a new view on the brain skill of Godsight (Skill 13) and uses Bible stories to illustrate how this skill can give us an eternal perspective to stay connected with God even through the hard times in life. 🔗 Visit our Skill 13 page for more info and resources. 🔗 Visit www.thrivetoday.org/anxiety for resources on this topic you can use an…
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Chris uses examples from the life of Paul the Apostle to show what a life lived with Godsight (Skill 13) looks like. 🔗 Visit our Skill 13 page for more info and resources. Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.توسط Chris Coursey
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This is the third installment of our series of stories about relational repair when we have messed up. Everyone messes up at times. We can either mess up and make problems bigger than relationships, or we can mess up well and stay relational. This story highlights sharing someone's pain even when you are the one who caused it and returning to joy t…
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Send us a text In this conversation, Kristy and Jerry explore the concept of the 'adaptive child'—the immature part of ourselves that can dominate our reactions during conflicts. They discuss how to navigate situations when one partner is stuck in this state for an extended period, emphasizing the importance of self-care, compassion, and understand…
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What are complex emotions? Why are they so hard to recover from and what can we do about it? In this episode we hear some stories about how to recognize what you are feeling and come back to a place of peace and joy even in the midst of really big emotions. This episode talks about Skill 19 - 'Recover from Complex Emotions'. 🔗 Visit our Skill 19 pa…
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Special guest, Michel Hendricks, describes the amazing difference it makes in our interactions and relationships when we stay relational, notice and validate others emotions. 🔗 Read this blog post from Thriving Mamas: Returning to Joy 🔗 Read this blog post from Thriving Mamas: Skills that Even Calm Darth Vader 🔗 Visit our Skill 11 page for more inf…
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Chris takes an in-depth look at how our attachment styles that were developed by the environment we grew up in, affect how people interpret our maturity level. He describes how hidden wounds show up in certain behaviors and how our attachment styles are an indication of the places we need to grow. 🔗 Dr. Jim Wilder has a new book series on maturity:…
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Send us a text In this conversation, Jerry and Kristy discuss the importance of self-soothing in relationships. They define self-soothing as the ability to observe oneself and step in to soothe oneself before reacting negatively. They explore different techniques for self-soothing, such as deep breathing, listening to soothing music, spending time …
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What do gas pedals and traffic have to do with managing our energy levels? Quiet Interactively (aka Skill 15), is about being able to read facial cues to build safety and trust in our relationships. Listen in and learn more about this essential skill that may sound simple to some, but many people in our society actually lack. 🔗 Visit our Skill 15 p…
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How can we handle big emotions that come up within political tensions? In this episode, Chris Coursey and Kristy Harrang discuss tensions that can arise in politically charged atmospheres, tips for managing your big feelings, and guidance for staying connected with people who hold opposing views. This is a non-partisan discussion. 🔗 “Relationships …
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This episode Chris discusses a skill that we all need to learn: When to stop. Chris tells about a time when he escaped Enemy Mode by using this important skill and shares how we can all grow in it. 🔗 Visit our Skill 9 page for more info and resources 🔗 Learn more about Thrive Premier Training 🔗 Check out this blog post from Thriving Mamas: The Firs…
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Send us a text Jerry and Kristy discuss the gap that can exist between "having good sessions" and actual change taking place, for either an individual or a couple. Tips for bringing the best of therapy to your actual relationship life are shared.توسط Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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In this episode, we hear from a counselor and relational skills trainer about how inner healing and brain skills work together to accelerate and deepen the healing in her clients. 🔗 Visit our Counseling webpage for more resources 🔗 Learn more about Relational Skills Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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In this extended episode, Chris shares stories that illustrate what it looks like to act like the person God created us to be and shares tips to help us do that when we get stuck. 🔗 Learn more about Track 2 of our 5-day Premier Training 🔗 Learn more about Skill 12: Act Like Myself Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future e…
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Chris shares the encouragement that you can hear from God personally, and gives tips on how to remove some of the barriers that might have kept you from hearing God's voice in your life. 🔗 Check out our after-event course Defeating Your Barriers to Jesus 🔗 Learn more about Skill 13: See What God Sees Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't …
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We've referred to the skill of 'Returning to Joy' quite a bit throughout our podcasts, but today we focus on what this skill is, why it is so important, and how you can begin to develop it in your life. 🔗 Explore the Thriving Mamas blog for practical examples of doing this with our kids 🔗 See our Return to Joy webpage with resources 🔗 Learn more ab…
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Sometimes the people around us can feel intimidating or stir fear in us. Our friend Terri shares a short story from her own life and then Chris discusses practical ways to deal with fear and learn how to engage others in love. 🔗 Check out The Joy Switch book by Chris Coursey 🔗 Check out the Escaping Enemy Mode book and resources 🔗 Watch our free Es…
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Send us a text It's almost astonishing how -- after lamenting how little time we "get" to spend with our partner -- we routinely ignore the basics of positive connection in the time we finally set aside to be together. Kristy and Jerry review how some of these dynamics work and suggest corrective measures that can enhance your relational health.…
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Today's episode is on Skill 16: Recognize Energy Responses. Chris shares the benefits of recognizing the energy responses in ourselves and others. He gives suggestions to help discover your energy style and shares examples of both high and low-energy responders. 🔗 Check out the Transforming Fellowship book by Chris Coursey 🔗 Learn more about Skill …
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This episodes explores the need to 'quiet' and gives many tips and suggestions about how to implement quieting into your life, using high energy and low energy examples. 🔗 Online Courses focused on Skill 2: Simple Quiet 🔗 Habit Builder Groups give you an opportunity to practice with others. The next groups start September 2024. 🔗 See all of our Ski…
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In this special anniversary podcast episode, Jen Coursey, Executive Director of THRIVEtoday, joins Chris as they reflect on the podcast's first year and look forward to what is coming in future episodes! If you are new to the podcast, this is a fun episode to jump in on. Intro resources for relational skills: 🔗 Subscribe to this podcast! Continue t…
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Send us a text The perils and pluses of reaching a diagnostic understanding about your partner are considered. Voicing diagnostic lingo to your partner is considered in terms of being an usually-losing tactic. Of special consideration when one of the couple is a therapist her/himself....توسط Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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Hear from Heather Meades, author of children's book, "Switched on for Joy", about her inspiration for helping children understand relational circuits. Chris also shares some practical tips and stories about helping the children in our lives learn these skills. 🔗 Spreading Joy to the Next Generation Don't miss the free webinar with Heather and Chris…
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In this episode, our friend Pam shares how she used her relational skills to attune to and quiet with her adult son, and how she has learned how to be a safe person for her adult children to come to at stressful times. 🔗 28 Day Joy Challenge 🔗 Explore our Foundational 5 page and learn more about strengthening your relational foundation. Thank you f…
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Following 'Bonds for 2', Chris explains the difference between that and a family bond, and lists reasons both are important and how they affect us. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 5 - Form Family Bonds 🔗 Check out the Transforming Fellowship book by Chris Coursey Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Chris explains what a "bond for 2" is, how it works in the brain and how it naturally grows. He also gives ideas for how to grow a healthy bond for 2 in your brain if you are missing this skill. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 3 - Form Bonds for Two 🔗 Check out the Transforming Fellowship book by Chris Coursey Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don…
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Send us a text Jerry & Kristy take an extended look at the process of repair. Frequently misunderstood as a "moment" it is actually a relational project that requires vulnerability, bravery and follow-through. Specific applications of the process of repair to four different fight-scenarios are illustrated.…
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How do we teach children relational skills before they understand the value? In this extended episode, Chris shares some tips and tricks we can use in the course of everyday life to help our kids get the nutrition (relational skills) they need to thrive and grow. 🔗 Register for our next free webinar "Spreading Joy to the Next Generation" on July 2n…
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We all have loss in our lives. Chris dives into why it can be so hard for us, how we can recognize what we're dealing with, and some things we can do to start healing. This podcast addresses Skill 18: Intervene Where the Brain is Stuck. 🔗 Check out The Joy Switch book by Chris Coursey 🔗 Explore taking our Foundational 5 Intro Course 🔗 Take a look a…
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Send us a text Couples usually stumble over this ever-present elephant-in-the-room; what if you have different backgrounds, expectations and habits when it comes to personal finances? What are the implications for the two of you as a couple? How do you even begin to talk about it? Jerry and Kristy ponder this out loud, with numerous common examples…
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Josh shares his story about he paused in the middle of a busy life of ministry to pursue healing and maturity and how he was able to re-enter his life with greater health and capacity. 🔗 Foundational 5 Resources for beginning your relational skills journey 🔗 Learn more about Thrive Premier Training 🔗 Read the book: The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People…
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Brett tells how his journey of learning relational skills has helped his ministry and family life in many ways. Skill 0 (Relational Circuits) is a skill he uses daily and has a huge impact on how he relates to those around him especially in a ministry context as a pastor. 🔗 Check out The Joy Switch book by Chris Coursey 🔗 Take a look at our 5 Habit…
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Our guest, Monica, shares how increasing her own capacity and relational skills helped her personal life and now impacts her work in a therapy/counseling setting and she helps others recover and thrive in their own lives and families. 🔗 Check our Monica's website: https://www.cftinstitute.com/ 🔗 Explore our YouTube playlist for Counselors 🔗 See our…
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How can you tell when you lose your peace? What about when the people around you lose their peace? Chris shares about how to notice your peace level and how to refresh it when your peace is gone. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 2: Simple Quiet 🔗 Skill 13: Godsight - theory course Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Send us a text Jerry and Kristy consider the thorny impact of worldwide patriarchy on the way we function in our relationships. Alternative models are considered, as well as an understanding of how the status-quo we were born into results in a bad deal for both men and women.توسط Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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Our friend Jessie DeCorsey shares her story out of perfectionism and striving. How can we release our fear of failure that and start seeing situations through God's eyes? This episode explores that journey towards Godsight and encourages us that change is possible! 🔗 Jessie DeCorsey's website - Buy her book! 🔗 Transforming Fellowship book 🔗 Foundat…
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Chris explains what "the sark" is, how it interacts with the relational brain skill of "Stop the Sark" (Skill 14), and what Jesus has to say about it. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 14 - Stop the Sark 🔗 Free Webinar: My Life Through God's Eyes 🔗 Skill 13 in our Foundational 5 resources 🔗 Check out our self-paced relational skill courses Thank you for lis…
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Helping children build capacity and practice skills is something we can make a daily habit of in our lives. Dan and Betty share fun and helpful ways they have shared relational skills with children in many different settings in their lives. 🔗 The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids Book 🔗 28-Day Joy Challenge Thank you for listening! Subscribe so y…
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Send us a text You know the feeling when you just want to throw things away? When one too many things have occurred and you would just love to get rid of things (or your partner?) instead of working to fix them? Jerry ponders the convergence of a number of mechanical breakdowns that came his way as Kristy puts it in context of the ever-present chal…
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Maturity - what it is and what it isn't! Chris shares things we can do to grow the maturity in our lives, our families, marriages and communities. 🔗 We go most indepth on this in our Premier Training. 🔗 For kids, check out 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids book. 🔗 There is also a chapter on this in the Transforming Fellowship book and Living From…
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Your pain tells a story, and what bothers you can actually reveal some of your unique heart values! This episode addresses Skill 6: Identify Heart Values. 🔗 Learn more about Skill 6 - Identify Heart Values 🔗 We go most indepth on this in Track One of our Premier Training. 🔗 See the Transforming Fellowship book. Thank you for listening! Subscribe so…
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Chris tackles the million dollar question,"If I'm stuck in my healing, what can I do?" You are not alone and there are some practical things you can do! 🔗 Watch our free 3-part webinar series "Unlock Your Healing" on YouTube Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out on future episodes.…
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Send us a text What role does our ego play in helping, or hindering, connection with our partner? Kristy & Jerry unpack some of this together. Jerry reports some about his travel to Southern India and how long it took him to finally unpack after returning.توسط Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW
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Sometimes we fall out of relational mode in a situation, but we can repair by noticing, quieting, taking a break, and acting like ourselves again. Today you will hear a story from our teammate Lizabet for a great example of this. 🔗 Join a LIVE online practice class 🔗 Check out our 10-week online Habit Builder Groups Thank you for listening! Subscri…
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Chris talks through the importance of noticing how you are feeling in any present situation, and we hear a story from Annie, who walks us through a time in her life when she went on that journey of discovery. 🔗 Thrive Premier Training - What is it? 🔗 "Emotions That Energize & Drain" - Webinar Thank you for listening! Subscribe so you don't miss out…
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