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What's Lightsabers, Precious?

Joanna and Ryan

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In this inspirational, hyper-informational encyclopodcast, husband-and-wife team Ryan and Joanna attempt to explain their respective nerd passions to each other. Each week, Joanna schools Ryan on one topic drawn from the web's oldest J.R.R. Tolkien resource, the Encyclopedia of Arda. In return, Ryan learns Joanna a thing or two about one topic drawn from the deliriously comprehensive Star Wars database, Wookieepedia. Will they turn each other into Lord of the Rings and Star Wars aficionados ...
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EMERGENCY POD! What happens when you get a chance to adapt Tolkien's epic for Leningrad TV with no budget, two horses, and a prog rock band right before the fall of the Soviet Union? Khraniteli, the recently excavated 1991 2-part miniseries! It's a weird one, so buckle up, buddies!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What were Morgoth's bud holes like? What happens when you mix Titanic, 2001, and WarGames with a sprinkle of terrible decisions? Answers to these questions, plus shilling for Disney, loving lamps, and the glorious return of Dash "The Man" Rendar.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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How is Mordor like Florida? How many chapter cliffhangers involving bugs can your book have before actually being scary? Answers to these questions, plus a rare Lord of the Rings-Star Wars news crossover, Tolkien's heavy metal streak, and the return of the skimboard.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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It's time to get SPOOKY! What's scarier - naked Nazgul or Clay Aiken? When will Tash Arranda learn the meaning of stranger danger? Answers to these questions, plus THE SPARAT WALD, Boba Fett being cool, and seriously, Clay Aiken?توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Does Bombur have a personality besides "fat guy?" Who's the shrewd blue dude Disney was wooed to include? Answers to these questions, plus in-depth discussions of Force Friday, real Norwegian TV shows, and art appreciation gone wrong.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What are the secret origins of J.R.R. Tolkien's breezy children's novel "The Hobbit?" Why should Splinter of the Mind's Eye actually be a movie? Answers to these questions, plus pacifist coward heroes, DBZ battles, and cool teen boys at the movie theater.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Regarding Sauron's rings of power, who wore it better - elves, dwarves, or men? How do you write a low-budget sequel to one of the biggest blockbusters of all time? Answers to these questions, plus more baffling musical cues, the dreaded return of horny paragraphs, and two separate references to Kamala Harris being a cop.…
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Did Pippin have god-like powers in the Swedish Lord of the Rings? Who is Ratio Tile and what does he have to do with the Presbyterian Hopeless Situation Warriors? Answers to these questions, plus Master Thief King, Reaching the West of Reaches, and some actual interesting stories from the world of language translation.…
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Rotoscoping: the economical future of animation or weird uncanny garbage? Is using literal Nazi propaganda to represent evil a little too on-the-nose? Answers to these questions, plus butterfly balrogs, fairies vs. Hitler, and the secret origin of the WLP theme song in our NICEest episode yet.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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How is 9/11 connected to Lord of the Rings' satantic agenda? Is there a religion out there that allows one to wear a hood in public? Answers to these questions, plus taking a stand, George W. Bush's magic ring, and the Dark Mageocracy.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Who deserves a Middle-Earth's Greatest Dad coffee mug? Would anyone actually read something titled Document CO(CL) 56-95? Answers to these questions, plus ninnyhammers, Shirley Temple bugs, and Khan, all in this special Father's Day episode guest starring Joanna's mom!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Can one act of bro-ish one-upsmanship end a line of kings? Should you be wary if a pilot droid offers to show you "something neat?" Answers to these questions, plus TEN THOUSAND YEARS, references to Ruben Studdard, and the shocking truth behind Joanna's Mountain Dew experience.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Can you call yourself an anarchist if you support the idea of a stamp-lovin' king? What do Max Rebo and Celine Dion have in common? Answers to these questions, plus hot dugs, Secret Stoner Saruman, and the iconic cargo shorts of Droopy McCool.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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With Ryan parasailing with manatees in Florida, Joanna takes it upon herself to eat some chips! Oh, and also call up her friend and fellow Tolkien nerd Teresa to discuss the Tolkien exhibit at the Morgan Museum in NYC. What do World War I, seven-year-old boys sitting on their infant sisters, and a strange man who can't stop talking about Watership …
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Can you justify being a deadbeat dad if you're secretly fighting Sauron? What would Freud say about Jabba making a dancer look like his mom-dad? Answers to these questions, plus trees & seas, Gamorrean detective work, and the conclusion to the Worst Name Challenge (for now!)توسط Joanna and Ryan
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DARK GREETINGS!!! KYLO REN HAS ARRIVED WITH YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DESPAIR IN THE KYLOCAST!!! THIS WEEK'S SEGMENTS:*KYLO'S HIGH-LOWS*REN-LATIONSHIP ADVICE*BB-9E'S RANT OF THE WEEK *PISSIN' ON THE RESISTANCE*KYLO RAPSDO YOU DARE LISTEN TO THESE DARK TRUTHS?? SHARE LIKE SUBSCRIBE OR SUFFER!!!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What's an entwife look like? What do you get when Groot shops at Hot Topic? Answers to these questions, plus the truth about Lord Farquaad, girlfriend in the Brown Lands (you wouldn't know her), and an unidentified talking tree species.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What shocking revelations are contained in Tolkien's last recorded letter? Should you sleep with a H'menthe? Answers to these questions, plus lots of other fun facts about Tolkien's only friend, Sullustan skin care routines, and lots more as we spin the Random Article Roulette!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Would Gandalf's return be as glorious if he emerged from a shallow moat after biting the balrog? Is there anything in the rulebook that says a blob can't play golf? Answers to these questions, plus Gollum's spider dance, Ted Sandyman's Cookie Factory, and lots of completely original sportsgames.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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How does one set up a tryst with a wizard on Weathertop? Is it possible for just your ears to melt off in a podracing crash? Answers to these questions, plus Pippin hating mpreg, man-sized balrogs with gorgeous hair, and lots of funny Star Wars noises.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What was the alternate, more heavy metal ending to Return of the King? Is Mara Jade incredibly cool or just a Mary Sue? Answers to these questions, plus Sam-dad, Tatooine as a right-to-work state, and some heartwarming reader's theater.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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In this one-off special, Eric (of Vertiguys), Connor, Joanna and Ryan (of What's Lightsabers, Precious?) talk NINJA SCROLL, the 1993 anime movie with a lot of ninjas and a distinct lack of scrolls. Is it awesome, awful, or somewhere in-between? We aim to discover the truth in this amoral world!WARNING: If you don't want to hear discussion of sexual…
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Are sheep better than men? Does a wookiee life debt entitle you to a wingman even if you're stuck in carbonite? Answers to these questions, plus a guy named after a crystal ball, slight hooting noises, and a couple of musical numbers.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What phat loot dropped from the 40-man raid of Dagor Bragollach? How many incredibly cool and normal dudes can one introduce in a single book? Answers to these questions, plus Numenorian jellyfish, Breaking Bad analogies, and snacks.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Who says princesses are for girls and starfighters are for boys? Do you want an Arwen doll or an X-wing toy? Your personal answers to these questions, plus semi-appropriate Disney songs, looking at plastic spaceships, and blowing up the Happy Meal dichotomy.توسط Joanna and Ryan
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To celebrate our one-year podcast anniversary we created a game called HOBWOKS and played it with our special guests Abbey and Jack! Stay tuned for the Worst Name Challenge, a preview of what's to come, and completely real ads not recorded for comedy purposes!Download HOBWOKS here: https://goo.gl/xRa8Rp…
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What's the most contentious argument in the Tolkien legendarium? Can a hologram eat a guy? Answers to these questions, plus balfrogs, poker night, and naming someone after a stomach gurgle in our last week of SPOOKY OCTOBER!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What category of ghost do the Dead Marshes fit into? Can you trust an organization called the Imperial Biological Welfare Division? Answers to these questions, plus two Sherlocks, monster blobs, and possibly our worst intro ever as Spooky October spooks along!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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Why are there ghost dudes trapped in a mountain full of skulls? How do you retell Re-Animator for kids who love Star Wars? Answers to these questions, plus Isildur's giant dad, a trip in the Numenoran Delorean, and jetpacking away from conversations as SPOOKY OCTOBER continues!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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What happens when the Witch King's demons gentrify your neighborhood? What's your creepy shape-shifting uncle doing all day? Answers to these questions, plus Tom Bombadil's fire tracks, Hey Chood, and other thrills and chills in our first installment of Spooky October!توسط Joanna and Ryan
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