Meghan Markle’s Distant Third Cousin Claims Seat to Throne from Moab Utah: Meet Matthew Lawson

The Mike O'Reilly Show

Virgin Galactic rockets into space.... 60 Minutes sinfully slams Elon Musk... and the newly-minted Ninth Exchequer of Canterbury Matthew Lawson joins us as the very first Royal on our show. Welcome to the 16th ever episode of the Mike O’Reilly Show: News and Reporting and Getting the Facts. Today’s episode is sponsored by SmartTeeth. Are you frustrated not being able to speak intelligently? Maybe You find yourself at a cocktail party sounding like a total moron? With all the impossible social scenarios - from office parties to asking someone to marry you - let’s face it, sometimes, you just sound like a psychotic drunk monkey in a human suit, right? Literally stupid. Well, if you feel like I’m speaking directly from the horses mouth - your life will change for the better with “SmartTeeth” Think Siri meets Master Chef, only this gourmet dish doesn’t give you food, it gives your mouth words. Finally - you can be an intelligent human again. In three easy steps, stop sounding like a confused bird in the wild, and start sounding like a sober smart human. Step one: put on a smart tooth, fits like a glove in your mouth, without the handles. Step two: configure your accent of choice with your synced smart watch or bluetooth device Step three: hit the social scene and let your teeth do the talking from now on. Our smartteeth app will speak for you, using the data straight from Wikipedia, google, bing, and Duck-Duck-Go. Imagine walking into work tomorrow with your new smartteeth, when someone asks you what you did over the weekend by the water cooling tower, instead of responding with a dumb blank stare - your smartteeth will respond in perfect timing using your voice or any voice or accent you choose: “I went on a boating excursion and nearly lost the barracuda off my fish rod” But wait - there’s more! Choose from any of our 71 language packs with custom accents to boot. You can even choose a celebrity voice - like pierce brosnan, jerry Seinfeld or even Oprah. Go to smartteeth.com/Mike to get your first month absolutely free. Then, every single month, you’ll get a new smart tooth. And if you choose our platinum bonus package, we’ll throw in a t-shirt, “I’m not an idiot, you’re the idiot” signed by our ceo and co-founder, Marty Spellbinder. Go to smartteeth.com/Mike right now and get the goods, first month free. Just because you are an idiot, doesn’t mean others need to ever know. SmartTeeth: Born dumb? Sound smart...from your teeth!