Fertility - Shame & Guilt

The Short and the Long of it – Fertility & Feelings Podcast

Experiencing failures when trying to conceive and the associated feelings of shame can be debilitating. In this episode we talk about how shame can hold us back from making connections, getting the support you need and remind you that you are not defined by a failure and are never alone.

Episode Notes

1:42 - definition of shame
3:24 - definition of guilt
5:32 - the difference between shame and guilt
6:39 - it’s not all on you, it’s not your fault
8:26 - an essential mindset shift to help deal with feelings of shame
10:13 - shame triggers
12:23 - shame requires constant self-talk
13:00 - judgement and your shame bubble
14:07 - when other things going well make your question yourself
15:07 - slipping into a lack of trust around others
16:55 - guilt and engaging with the world
20:01 - shame makes you question your identity
20:50 - separating yourself and facts from your thoughts
22:31 - what happens in a shame spiral
23:57 - the expectation reality gap
25:17 - feeling pregnant - motivator or fear?
28:43 - will my partner leave me?
30:16 - does visualisation work?
32:54 - the stories you tell yourself
34:17 - belonging and feeling accepted
35:58 - personality traits and building resilience
37:07 - the value in saying ‘everything is fine’
38:05 - everyone needs a f*ck it switch
40:09 - unpicking your brain
42:29 - dealing with a Big Fat Negative
53:01 - you are not your failure
55:30 - navigating compassion and comfort
1:01:11 - we’re all human, emotions are normal

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