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The Greatest Movie Ever Made

The Greatest Movie Ever Made

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With countless films produced during the course of over a century of film history, determining the greatest movie ever made seems like an impossible exercise. Thankfully, Justus Burkitt and David Scandura — God's favorite idiots — have taken on this Sisyphean task. Join these two film fanatics each week as they meticulously and rigorously review a wide range of movies, painstakingly searching all corners and niches of film history to once and for all find the Greatest Movie Ever Made.
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We’re Jackson Off and aping out this week with Peter Jackson and his 2005 remake of King Kong. Swing through the vines of Skull Island with Kong and the gang and find out if Peter Jackson is Hollywood’s best Jackson. The first challenger enters the arena as the Jackson Off begins on The Greatest Movie Ever Made! King Kong (2005) is directed by Pete…
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Nunchucks, ninja stars, and roundhouse kicks are flying this week as David introduces Justus to yet another obscure no-budget, DIY action flick. This time around, it’s the crust punk nightmare odyssey of Jim Van Bebber’s Deadbeat At Dawn. Join us on the mean streets of Dayton and find out if this grindhouse splatterfest is the Greatest Movie Ever M…
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This week the boys take to the skies accompanied by David’s brother Matthew and a pig man who can fly biplanes! TGMEM tackles their first Studio Ghibli film from the creative mind of Hayao Miyazaki, Porco Rosso. Don’t worry, they do discuss the pig’s penis and debate if they would eat him. Soar through the clouds of the Adriatic and find out if Por…
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It’s January 17, 2025, and if youuuuuu can believe it, it’s time for TGMEM to talk about their favorite movies of the year once again! It was a year of Longlegs, whole concerts that were traps, Lisan al Gaibs, and Octobosses, and your favorite drunken idiots are here to break down all the cinematic highs and lows of 2024. It’s Episode SIXTY NINE ba…
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Christmas may have just come and gone, but TGMEM is keeping things cold and snowy as they venture to the harsh Scandinavian wilderness to talk about The Northman! It’s a film with a lot of yelling, a lot of blood and guts, and a lot of butts! Justus busts out a Bjork impression and David tries to get through the episode without dying via coughing f…
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It’s the final TGMEM episode before Christmas, so of course the boys are rounding things out with another holiday classic. This year it’s the film with the most family friendly depiction of suicidal depression ever, starring America’s golden boy and possible pegging enthusiast Jimmy Stewart. Merry Christmas and a hearty “HEEHAW” from us at The Grea…
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Gather the family ‘round for this holiday double feature episode, covering the first two installments of the Silent Night, Deadly Night Christmas horror franchise. David and Justus tell the tale of two killer Santas, two Christmas Eve killing sprees, and two notoriously controversial holiday horror films. Merry Garbage Day to one and all on this sp…
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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, both around the TGMEM offices and around the seedy New York dreamscape of Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut! This week, David and Justus explore the deceit, lust, and clandestine orgy clubs of this heartwarming holiday classic. Do you know the second password? It’s “The Greatest Movie Ever Made!” Eyes Wid…
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Thanksgiving’s right around the corner, and David and Justus are celebrating with this obscure 80’s Thanksgiving slasher. It might have three different official titles and be really hard to find on the internet, but that can’t be because it’s a bad movie, right? Set the table and say grace with David, Justus, gigachad slasher Terry, Condom Salesman…
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This week, the boys touch down on this Icelandic coming of age drama. The only thing darker and more brutal than the current state of the world is a teenage girl channeling her grief and angst through heavy metal music in the desolate frozen wastes of rural Iceland. Crank it up to 11 and eat a big ol’ plate of some sort of gray indistinct Icelandic…
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This week, escape from the cruel ugliness of our world by venturing to the cruel ugliness of the world of Mary and Max, two depressing little goblin freak characters who find love and human connection in each other. Join your depressing little goblin freak hosts as they discuss Max’s various chocolate culinary creations, life under President Jill S…
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This week, we move on from the horrors of spooky season and return to the omnipresent horrors of capitalism. IN A WORLD RUN BY RICH NERDS only one over-privileged jackass can claim ownership of the biggest tech innovation of the new millennium. But who will it be - Lex Luthor, Spider-Man, or the creepy twin brothers who totally swear they aren’t ar…
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Halloween Horrorthon II: Dead By Dawn comes to close with a wickedly witchy tale courtesy of Mr. Dragula himself, the one and only Rob Zombie. Join Rob’s hot wife, the GEICO caveman, and Ken Goddamn Foree for this psychological and psychedelic horror flick. Meanwhile, David and Justus savagely critique morning radio shows and the Salem Witch Museum…
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The Halloween Horrorthon continues truckin’ along and we have a delightfully demonic treat for this installment! This week, Bruce Campbell gets groovy with some Deadites as David and Justus talk about this classic slapstick splatter fest! Open up the Necronomicon and recite the incantations to find out if this is the Greatest Movie Ever Made! Evil …
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The Horrorthon celebrations continue with the triumphant return of guest Tony Moschetti! This week, the trio discusses this cult classic straight from the wave of 80s kid power films. Hop on your bike and ride on down to the TGMEM clubhouse, it’s time to find out if Woflman has nards and if The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie Ever Made! The Mon…
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TGMEM’s spooky season celebration returns with the bigger and better sequel, Halloween Horrorthon 2: Dead By Dawn! The festivities kick off with this genre-bending Halloween thriller, so come on in, stay for dinner, and grab a drink on this episode of the Greatest Movie Ever Made! The Guest (2014) is directed by Adam Wingard and stars Dan Stevens, …
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David and Justus waggle their dicks and become closer as friends this week as they discuss this British comedy. Meanwhile, they still have a few more things to say about The Judge and David discusses his home defense strategy (hint: it also involves him waggling his dick). Crank up the Donna Summer and shake your stuff on the Greatest Movie Ever Ma…
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When David decided to pick The Judge for TGMEM’s next episode, he didn’t realize the insanity he was about to unleash upon himself and Justus. Join them as they explore the many plot lines, jarring tones, and bodily fluids of this legal drama. This week, Roberts Duvall and Downey Jr. unite for a show-stopping episode of the Greatest Movie Ever Made…
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Pride AND PREJUDICE? It’s more likely than you think. On this installment of “TGMEM probably would have never covered this movie unless someone suggested it,” the Podmaster herself decides to subjugate the boys to this panties-soaking horny adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic. Flex your hand as you long for the touch of your partner’s hand, practic…
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Well the years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ as Justus closes out the first TGMEM-iversary with a controversial take: Shrek actually bad maybe? Join the boys as they revisit this animated family film with farting and dick jokes and see if this meme classic still holds up all this time later. Shrek may be love, Shrek may be life, but is Sh…
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Justus continues the TGMEM-iversary festivities by selecting this classic hyperviolent Jesus metaphor directed by a Dutch pervert. Join the boys as they talk about the bullets, the squibs, and the 80s acting titans of the almighty RoboCop. Dead or alive, you’re going to find out if this is the Greatest Movie Ever Made! RoboCop (1987) is directed by…
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The first annual TGMEM-iversary continues with the Emoji Movie. Abandoned by God and condemned to a fate worse than death, David and Justus gaze into the abyss and confront the incomprehensible horrors of late stage capitalism. But the scariest horror of all waits for them: the possibility that the Emoji Movie might be the Greatest Movie Ever Made.…
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The TGMEM boys celebrate 50 episodes and one year of the show the only way they know how: by talking about some shit that kicks ass. Join Gator Trap and Dicksmash as they break down the mind blowing action maximalism of this little known low budget action film. Crack open a cold one and celebrate the first TGMEMiversary on the Greatest Movie Ever M…
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So ya thought ya might like to go to the show? To feel that warm thrill of dipshittery, that movie podcast glow? Well I’ve got some good news for you, sunshine, David and Justus are your hosts and they’ve got the most, and they came along to discuss and debate. They’re gonna find out if The Wall’s the Greatest Movie Ever Made! Pink Floyd - The Wall…
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This week, David and Justus pack their bags for dinosaur island to hang out with the raptor that says “ALAN,” that kid who harvests T. rex pee, and the ninja Spinosaurus. Is this often derided sequel actually the second best Jurassic Park movie? What are David and Justus’ favorite dinosaurs? Can they come up with ideas for Jurassic Park sequels tha…
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TGMEM’s S̴̄̄ͅh̸̢̯͒á̸̩̌́k̴͔̳̄y̴͇̓̈̕ ̵̙͂̓C̸̛̻̱̯͋̀ą̵̡̟m̶͓͊́ ̷̛̬͆S̵͉̽̈u̷̥͘͜m̵̧̺̺͒m̶̢͛̕ḛ̸̕̕r̷͈̣̗͆̎ ̵̟̲͂̆C̸͚̼͗a̶̢̐̑͘m̷̤͉̖̄̋̅p̶̟̮̻͋ came to a dramatic end with its episode on The Blair Witch Project. The m̴̞̤̤̅̀͝a̸͇̮͐l̵̻͚̀̿e̴̬͚̊̐͘v̷̡̠̄̋͂ǒ̸̠̔l̶̹̔̈́e̷͖̜̞͌́n̴͓͘t̴̨̓̍ ̵̜̈́̅f̵̖̅͂ͅo̶̥̜̔͜ŕ̴̠͍̼̓̕c̶̛̰̠̟e̶̬̟̩̔ş̷͂͘͘ present in their podcast studio had long made t…
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Charlie Anwar’s search for David Scandura and Justus Burkitt has so far revealed nothing about the whereabouts of the idiotic podcast hosts. On this week’s installment of the duo’s final recordings, however, the supernatural forces that may be behind their disappearance begin to make their presence known in a dramatic fashion. David and Justus disc…
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What happened to David Scandura and Justus Burkitt? In Charlie Anwar’s search for answers, he has only found more questions. This week, he explores the second of four final recordings made by the podcast hosts: their episode on the Korean paranormal horror film Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum. Join him as the search for the Greatest Movie Ever Made podcast…
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In July 2024, movie podcasters Justus Burkitt and David Scandura embarked on an episode series entitled “Shaky Cam Summer Camp.” These episodes would prove to be the final recordings of the duo. What happened to David and Justus, and does the truth behind their mysterious disappearance lie in their episode on found footage horror film As Above, So …
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The podcast welcomes Kelsey Hontz to discuss this cinematic adaptation of the off-Broadway musical about a plant that eats people! Join these mean green mothers from outer space and hear about all the musical numbers, special effects, and shockingly horny moments from Little Shop of Horrors this week on The Greatest Movie Ever Made! Little Shop of …
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This week, David, Justus, and the Muscles from Brussels head to Hong Kong to fight in an illegal underground fighting tournament that Actually Totally Happened Guys Trust Me! Join us for the pec-flexiest, screamiest, splits-to-nuts-punchiest episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made! Bloodsport (1988) is directed by Newt Arnold and stars Jean-Claude …
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Justus and David touch down on some Tumblr sad girl shit this week as they chronicle the nightly activities of a young Iranian vampire who loves skateboarding, eating people, scaring children and jamming to indie rock. Hear our hosts discuss the first Iranian vampire western and find out if it’s the Greatest Movie Ever Made! A Girl Walks Home Alone…
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It’s time to solve the demonic Rubik’s cube and experience pain and pleasure beyond your imagination! Journey through the labyrinth and meet your Cenobite hosts, as they discuss this film’s single cheap hallway set, single cheap matte painting, multiple cheap stop motion effects and the evil floating shape in the sky. We have such sights to show yo…
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The boys are back to discuss yet another Justus Burkitt Childhood Classic™ with this 80s fantasy film. George Lucas crawls out the walls of the podcast studio once again, but this time, he’s shamelessly ripping off Tolkien. Meanwhile, David advocates for genocide and treating yourself to a delicious hamburger. I don’t know what either of those thin…
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What a podcast, what a lovely podcast! The show rolls down the post-apocalyptic highway to hell this week to discuss this mind-boggling action spectacle from mastermind George Miller. Join your resident War Boys, David and Justus, as they talk about all the cars, characters and themes of the crazy world of Mad Max on this episode of The Greatest Mo…
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Peggy Sue got married. But what if she didn’t? What if, by some magical force, she was transported back to 1960 to relive high school? What if didn’t end up marrying Nicolas Cage and his wang, and instead married an edgelord beatnik or an angsty nerd? These are the questions asked by this film directed by…*checks notes* Francis Ford COPPOLA?!?! Whe…
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Ape podcast. Apes talk about ape movie. Charlton Heston want to bang ape and shoot ape with gun. Apes want to cut off Charlton Heston balls. Oooh ooh ahh ahh. Ape throw poop at you and eat banana. Is ape movie Greatest Movie Ever Made? Planet of the Apes (1968) is directed by Franklin J. Schaffner and stars Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunt…
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Excuse me…I believe you have my podcast. It’s Office Space, dipshits! Join our fearless hosts as they discuss this 90s comedy, commiserate over sharing stories of working for psychopathic bosses and bemoan the horrors of our capitalist dystopia. Crank up the gangsta rap and battle that case of the Mondays this week on the Greatest Movie Ever Made! …
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This week, David celebrates his favorite corporate-manufactured pop culture holiday, Alien Day. He and Justus ship out on the Nostromo to cover the 1979 original classic film that spawned a franchise centered around an evil penis monster in spaaaaace! Press play on your podcatcher to open up the xenomorph egg and take all 2 hours and 45 minutes of …
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Justus and David take things back to Bible study to discuss this faith-based animated family musical from their Christian upbringings. Listen to them square off like Moses and Ramses as David threatens to destroy Justus’ podcast empire with plagues of bagel-related tangents, Star Wars impressions, and sexy horses. Celebrate the Jewish holiday of Pa…
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Justus and David touch down on a critical and box office failure from the early 2010s (that’s totally not trying to rip off 300, seriously guys), but it’s from an underappreciated director they both love! Hopefully this goes well! If not, they’ll at least get to see a lot of people get decapitated along the way. Tune in to hear the boys talk about …
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Guest Kevin Hurley joins the boys this week to discuss another Actually Good Movie. Together, they venture off into the night with John Cassavettes, Peter Falk and director Elaine May on a strange and darkly funny journey into the human soul. Find out if Mikey and Nickey is the Greatest Movie Ever Made!Mikey and Nickey (1976) is directed by Elaine …
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This week, our fearless hosts enroll in Miskatonic University and get deep in the goop to discuss Stuart Gordon’s zombie horror comedy Re-Animator! Justus attempts to debut his new “calm Justus” persona and David fawns over the film’s outrageous performances and gore effects. Don’t lose your head; it’s time for another episode of the Greatest Movie…
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David and Justus tackle some dreaded capeshit for babies this week, but thank god it’s at least a Sam Raimi film! Listen to the dynamic duo go full Green Goblin mode, debate if Aunt May actually sucks and try to imitate all the insane New York extras in this generation-defining superhero movie. BRING US PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN this week on the Great…
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This week David and Justus welcome Audrey Young to the show to discuss a 90s teen horror cult classic that influenced a generation of young women. Hear the trio go gaga for 90s horror icons Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich and that ethereal lady who runs the witchcraft store in this movie! Join the circle, enter the coven and call upon the…
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THE SPOILERS MUST FLOW on this special episode from TGMEM! David and Justus are back to deliver a double dose of Dune deep dives to their devoted dipshits. Take the Water of Life and hear them discuss all the juicy details of this blockbuster sequel. Join Muad’Dib’s uprising and fight for Arrakis this week on the Greatest Movie Ever Made! Dune: Par…
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Our hosts don their suits you can pee and poop in and venture into the deep deserts of Arrakis to discuss Denis Villeneuve’s epic adaptation of…well, roughly 50% of Frank Herbert’s landmark science fiction novel. Catch the boys at their nerdiest as they ramble for nearly three uninterrupted hours about the most minute and inconsequential details of…
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David concludes his mandated Valentine’s Month with a bang by discussing this romantic action comedy romp courtesy of James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hear the slow degradation of David and Justus’ Schwarzenegger impressions over the course of these two and a half hours as they talk about the one liners, explosions, misogyny and (yikes!) Is…
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David’s mandated Valentine’s Month takes a depressing turn this week as our hosts explore the loveless marriage at the heart of Blue Valentine. Certified Wife Guy Justus meets his match with Ryan Gosling’s deadbeat balding husband Dean. David fantasizes about torturing Bobby Ontario. Is the dog that dies at the beginning of this movie more worthy o…
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David’s February podcast takeover continues with this holiday slasher straight from the Great White North! Welcome to Valentine Bluffs, a cozy Canadian town known for its love of Valentine’s Day and mining-themed slasher villains. When you’re done getting hot and heavy with your Valentine down in the bowels of the Hanniger Mine, head over to the Ca…
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