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The Survivor’s Guide to Life is an on-going series of discussions between Dr Peter Bernstein - a coach and mentor with nearly 50 years of experience working with emotional trauma and its impacts and podcast host, Jenny Stevenson - a seasoned coach and mentor who has worked with Dr Bernstein for more than a decade. Each podcast will cover real-world examples of the various traumas, difficulties and struggles of life, and how developing an attitude of resilience can do more than merely help on ...
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Patrick, who also goes by the name “See Music” shares how a tragic childhood of loss and rejection created in him a “life pattern” in which he sought out others who had similar childhoods. Unfortunately, this life patten – his need to rescue others like himself even at his own expense – lead him into a years-long toxic relationship that wound up hu…
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Caregivers give greatly of themselves in time and energy. Effective self-care includes paying attention to preserving energy and seeing to physical and emotional needs. Many caregivers are unaware, however, that caregiving also involves taking in often-painful energy from a loved one or client. In this podcast, we share from our Lynn's Legacy Resil…
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On March 28th, the New York Times Magazine published a powerfully revealing article about young adults caring for their aging parents - while trying to earn a living, parent their children, and preserve their own health. The statistics were dramatic. "The share of caregivers who are under 45 quintupled over the past two decades, to nearly 66 percen…
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Are you holding on to something that's holding you back? Is there something - or someone - that feels essential but in fact is getting in your way of moving on to better things? The Survivor's Guide to Life's social media coordinator Patrick Cyuzuzo (SEE) shares from his experiences and urges you to "let it go" in this inspiring episode of our podc…
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Many people face the reality of having a loved one in need of caregiving. What will it take for them to succeed and preserve their health and well-being in this sacrificial calling, this "extraordinary reality"? Caregiving can be exhausting, depleting, and emotionally draining. The keys to resilience as a caregiver are many and in this podcast we h…
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What are you leaving unfinished? What excuses could you make for giving up now? Patrick Cyuzuzo has a message for you - keep moving forward, keep waking up each morning and pushing on. Have persistence; believe your season of pain and struggle will end. Through challenges big and small, you can make it through. There is hope for tomorrow…
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CNN news contributor Harris Faulkner, a smart, savvy woman of faith, has a new best-seller, "Faith Still Moves Mountains". In her book, Faulkner profiles stories from people who've experienced God's hand in their lives during very difficult times and crises. When we're feeling depleted, incapable, weak and hopeless, Faulkner's book reminds us that,…
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2022 was a year of significant stress, loss and grief. Many people took on caregiving roles for loved ones without appreciating the physical and emotional toll it would take, leading to depletion of health and well-being. We've said it many times, "Self care is not selfish, it is essential," but caregivers must move beyond head knowledge to taking …
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Born and raised in Rwanda. SEE, a Gospel and Inspirational artist, is a dedicated young man who is passionate about youth transformation, mental health, and the rise of Christ-centered youth through his music and his motivational speaking. In this special episode of The Survivor’s Guide to Life, SEE shares about some of the tragic and scary times o…
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A recent series of articles highlighting the destructive nature of relationships between narcissists and empaths has a direct bearing on caregivers and caregiver burnout. Attention-seeking narcissists, who use manipulation and exploitation to get their endless needs met, see selfless, giving empaths as the perfect people to meet those needs. Empath…
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Fragile individuals in need of caregiving can find it hard to ask for help or accept help when it's offered. Attitudes and fears can get in the way. Pride, shame, a fear of vulnerability, and a desire to remain independent can all play a part. Knowing someone who truly needs and deserves help to preserve their safety and well-being can present a ch…
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On his recent visit to Canada, Pope Francis, visibly aging, set an example in word and action. His message was - we must all embrace our frailty and humanity, preserve the dignity of the elderly, and realize that each of us, regardless of age, is a fragile human being. From a profile in the New York Times article, "Pope Francis, Slowed by Aging, Fi…
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Many people are experiencing significant pain and loss in our community and nation. The willingness to face our difficulties, and not run away - to be open and available to hear other people's pain - gives us a chance to heal, grow and experience a shared humanity with others who are suffering. Behind our fears of facing difficulties, health or fin…
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We return to an article by Dr. Sunita Puri, a palliative medicine physician: "We Must Learn to Look at Grief, Even When We Want to Run Away" (New York Times, 2-23-22). The Covid-19 pandemic has bombarded our world with grief and loss. Dr. Puri writes, and we agree, that there is value in facing our own pain and mortality. We also have the valuable …
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Caregivers across the country are suffering emotionally, deteriorating physically, and even getting injured, as Peter learns as he travels to Florida to spend Mother's Day with his 97-year-old mom, Pauline. As part of our new program, Lynn's Legacy: Caring for the Caregiver, we are committed to advocating for the physical, emotional, and mental wel…
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Episode 131 - FIRST SCREENING OF LYNN'S LEGACY VIDEO & SHARING SPIRITUAL MOMENTS IN CAREGIVING
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Join us for a first-time screening of an informational video for our Lynn's Legacy: Caring for the Caregiver program. Also, we read from Patti Davis' caregiving memoir, "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's". In this excerpt, Patti writes about a meaningful time near the end of her father's life when they recalled the…
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Episode 130 - COVID-19 DEMENTIA IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP: LOSS OF INTIMACY AND DEVASTATING GRIEF
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In today's episode, we focus on the devastating experiences of spouses or partners in committed relationships who have lost a loved one. The intense grief following such a loss causes great distress and impacts physical health and well-being. Many people don't know how to handle and express their grief and need support, even when they don't reach o…
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The pandemic has been a wakeup call, challenging us to look at ourselves and our mortality. Dr. Sunita Puri, a palliative medicine physician, writes movingly of her work with dying patients and their families in "We Must Learn to Look at Grief, Even When We Want to Run Away" (New York Times, 2-23-22). Dr. Puri shares our firm conviction - that faci…
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We return to "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's", Patti Davis' memoir of caring for her father during the last stages of his life. Davis clearly and powerfully describes the emotional challenges she faced as a caregiver to recognize and deal with her old family-related pain and disappointment. To be compassionately…
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Not all caregivers are able to open up, or fully describe, the "extraordinary reality" of caring for a loved one. Patti Davis, in her memoir "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's", expresses clearly and eloquently her experience of caring for her father, Ronald Reagan. She is able to communicate the full range of emot…
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In today's podcast, we profile Patti Davis, author of "Floating in the Deep End: How Caregivers Can See Beyond Alzheimer's". Davis, the formerly rebellious daughter of Ronald Reagan, provides a powerful example of a person who turned her painful challenges into an opportunity for growth, resilience and purpose in life. On learning of her father's d…
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We are coming to the end of a most difficult year. This podcast brings you our gifts of encouragement and hope for 2022. Most of all, we urge you to turn your challenges - even the overwhelming, frightening ones - into opportunities. To do this, we offer the concept of reframing and the necessity of action, moving forward, not running away or getti…
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We share encouragement and support for caregivers everywhere by reading portions of the strategic plan for "Lynn's Legacy: Caring for Caregivers". Whether caregivers realize it or not, they play leading roles in providing and managing care for their loved ones. Principles of leadership and resilience which can help sustain them are also found in "T…
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Today's podcast emphasizes our conviction that hope is found in taking action. We continue to revisit "Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World", by Ama and Stephanie Marston, reviewing the skill of Active Engagement. We introduce and explain the six stages the Marstons identify for "turning adversity into growth". They a…
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We revisit "Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World", by Ama and Stephanie Marston, focusing on the skill of Active Engagement. When we started our podcast three years ago, we spent several episodes sharing key concepts from "Type R". Transformative resilience, according to the Marstons (and we agree) stresses that the k…
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We're excited to share a new initiative by our sponsor, Sonoma Coast Trauma Treatment, in support of caregivers and the vitally important caregiving profession. SCTT is launching a new strategic plan with the goal to provide education, support, training and resources for caregivers, to promote resilience and help prevent burnout. This effort will d…
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This podcast episode explores the hardships and rewards of being a caregiver through the lens of two recent articles of note. "Long Hours, Low Pay, Loneliness and a Booming Industry", published by the New York Times, profiles the difficult life and Covid-related death of two New York caregivers, and throws some light on the questionable practices o…
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Caregivers serve others in a stressful reality of suffering, disability, crisis, sickness, and death. The caregiving experience places emotional burdens on caregivers, and these experiences often stimulate painful, unresolved emotions from the caregiver's past. To release these old, stored negative emotions, it's essential for caregivers to learn t…
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Caregivers - needed now more than ever - experience physical, emotional and psychological burdens as they empathetically serve those who are sick, disabled or dying. The toll these stresses take can result in depletion and ultimately caregiver burnout. Effective self-care protocols for caregivers are essential for resilience and longevity. From our…
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The need for caregiving - by medical personnel, first responders, family members and paid caregivers - is increasing astronomically but high stress work situations, low pay, and lack of support and respect for the profession is putting caregivers at risk across the country. The nature of caregiving with its intense commitment to giving selflessly, …
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Life isn't linear, transitioning smoothly from childhood, to career, to parenting and eventually to retirement. Major transitions - significant life changes - can and do happen at any time. Sometimes several changes happen at once and can leave us feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Every one of us is now experiencing at least one major life ch…
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The Covid19 crisis is easing. Variants are still with us, Long Covid with its spectrum of lingering physical symptoms is affecting up to a quarter of the population, and residual emotional symptoms of distrust, negativity and fear are widespread. What should we do? This is a good time to take a deep, honest look at ourselves. Who are you now? What …
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Vaccination rates are up, infection rates are down, restrictions are easing - after over a year of COVID pandemic life, the White House is declaring this the "summer of freedom, summer of joy". Many of the activities we've missed, such as vacation travel and gathering with extended family are now more possible. But is feeling "joy" the whole pictur…
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Millions of Americans have suffered serious losses over the last year, including the death of loved ones and the loss of jobs and finances. Related articles appear in the news and online, the losses and grief are real, and yet how often do people talk openly about their painful experiences? Peter shares how to relate to others in a genuine way, sin…
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As we begin to recover from the Covid pandemic, millions across our country are grieving the death of loved ones. Our experience of bereavement is affected by many things - whether our loved one died isolated in a living facility or at home in the care of family, whether our relationships were troubled or loving, or if we have other losses in the p…
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We grieve the recent passing of Lynn Bernstein, knowing that millions of people continue to grieve for loved ones lost during the Covid-19 pandemic. Grief in losing someone we love - bereavement - is one of the deepest pains we will ever know. Each of us will experience grief in uniquely individual ways, both emotional and physical. Our culture ten…
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On April 12, 2021, Peter's wife Lynn passed away at home, surrounded by those who loved her. In this episode, Peter shares his experience of intense grief over Lynn in the desire to help and encourage the many others grieving loved ones now. The Covid pandemic alone has taken the lives of over 550,000 Americans. Millions worldwide are grieving for …
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In hard times, good leadership is critically important. Surprisingly, studies show that brilliance alone does not usually make someone a good leader. Grit, hardiness, and a willingness to embrace challenges as opportunities are qualities which set apart good leaders from bad ones. How does someone develop grit? During a crisis, people can allow the…
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In hard times, good leadership is critically important. In this episode, Peter shares from his personal experience of learning the qualities of a good leader. From an early age, Peter was expected to take a leading role in his family's construction business. His desire to learn benefited from both positive and negative examples of leadership. Bruta…
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Times of crisis separate good from bad leaders. In this episode, we continue to define the qualities of a good leader. An ability and willingness to innovate in response to difficult times is one mark of a good leader. Innovation and creativity - responding effectively to new and changing situations - means not falling back on old coping mechanisms…
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Times of crisis separate good from bad leaders. Leaders who give in to the temptation to abdicate and run away from their responsibilities fail the people depending on them. Good leaders do the opposite - they stay the course through adversity to continue to guide and provide for others. In this episode, we explore several types of leadership and b…
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True self-care is essential for everyone experiencing stress and adversity. Leaders, caregivers, first responders, parents - anyone on whom others depend for direction and support - have a greater responsibility to discern between legitimate avenues for self-care and negative self-indulgence. Attitudes and actions which are primarily self-protectiv…
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Covid vaccines are becoming more available, and yet times are still very difficult for us all. For front line medical personnel dealing with our pandemic, the heavy stress and burdens of providing care are leading to illnesses, family life difficulties and burnout. Self-care is essential for all caregivers to preserve their health and ability to ca…
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While there is hope for a better year in 2021, the Covid crisis has been devastating in loss of life and loss of income for many. Without being insensitive to this reality, we see reason for hope. People are starting to get back on their feet. We can all come out of this time for the better. Our crisis has been a time to reevaluate, to see where we…
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We continue to live in a tumultuous time of transition, of political, financial, and personal disruption and change. What does it take to successfully navigate these times? Those who are gifted or well-trained in only one part of life will discover their need for broader skills for resilience. Very early in his career, golfer Tiger Woods became a d…
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The old year, 2020 is over; 2021 begins. We are still in the midst of a complicated, difficult time. How can we create resilience and success in our lives in this new year? Peter and Jenny suggest a series of essential steps to take. In this podcast, we cover five important principles. We explain the value and necessity of: 1) self-care; 2) seeing …
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Athletes who have trained themselves to endure the greatest mental and physical challenges can teach us a lot about how to survive the marathon that is COVID19. Physical pain and mental discouragement are the enemy of an elite athlete who wants to perform at the peak of his or her abilities. What attitude or mindset do extreme athletes find necessa…
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This has been a year of uncertainty, sickness, loss and grief. Dr. Peter Bernstein reminds us that one of the best ways to heal from painful losses is to step out of ourselves and think of others. The core of fulfillment is giving from the heart to those around us who need our support. In giving, we find joy. Peter also encourages us all to hold on…
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In a special holiday message, Peter stresses the importance of focusing on what really matters during this time: the priority of the spiritual over the material aspects of life; compassionate giving to others; caring for ourselves; and taking time to cherish the lighter moments of joy and hope.توسط Peter M. Bernstein, Phd
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Creating a meaningful holiday gathering this year can benefit from early planning. Talk to those you love and listen to their desires and concerns. Balance safety with an opportunity to connect with family and friends by staying non-judgmental, allowing everyone to set boundaries consistent with their values and priorities. In this podcast, we incl…
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