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Say Podcast and Die!

Say Podcast and Die!

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Two queer horror nerds sit in a closet and revisit R.L. Stine's Goosebumps series. Season One looks at the original books, and Season Two tackles Series 2000 and Tales to Give You Goosebumps. New episodes every Monday!
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At long last, Andy and Alyssa wrap up Series 2000 with the final installment: Ghost in the Mirror. Along the way, they discuss interior design hot takes, monster twists, friendship reversals, scary furniture, splatterpunk, and more. Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com…
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This month, Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #24: Earth Geeks Must Go! As they discuss the penultimate book in Series 2000, they consider aliens, bugs, animal intelligence, bad assignments, baffling world building, body horror, and more. Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com…
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In their first episode of 2023, Andy and Alyssa discuss Goosebumps Series 2000 #23, Slappy's Nightmare. Along the way they discuss curses, stand-up horror, the nature of good deeds, doubles, multiple POVs, and a twist on the usual Slappy narrative. Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com…
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Winter is upon us, so let's revisit some seasonal horror! Andy and Alyssa take a detour into the Fear Street series with Ski Weekend (1991). They discuss a notable lack of skiing, gender troubles, balaclavas, elaborate schemes, terrible driving, Tom Bombadil, ravines, unclear warnings, Vertigo (1958), bullet eating, lodge horror, snowed-in horror, …
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In honor of the new Netflix series, we're re-releasing our episode about Christopher Pike's The Midnight Club. In this episode, Andy and Alyssa venture into their first non-Stine book: Christopher "Kevin" Pike's The Midnight Club (1994). They discuss conversation ventures into chain letters, Starvation Heights, Boccaccio's Decameron (ca. 1353), dea…
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This week, Andy and Alyssa discuss Goosebumps Series 2000 #22: Full Moon Fever. Along they way, they talk monster prejudice, Halloween rampaging, aphorisms, Deliverance, Dr. Satan, frickin' mermaids, scary old men, The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, sideshows, The Phantom of the Opera, lunacy and moon pseudoscience, family dinner and messed up hungers,…
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Andy and Alyssa talk with Alan Doucette, prop master for every episode of the Goosebumps TV series! As Alan takes them behind the Goosescenes, they discuss Adam West and other childhood heroes, the multitasking life of a prop masters, starting fires, angering snakes, tarantula fangs, how to get orange pumpkins in winter, Animorphs, Witchblade, Cana…
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On this Guestpunk episode, Andy and Alyssa talk with Alex of the Gattsy on Goosebumps podcast about the TV adaptation of Calling all Creeps. The message is media rare. You can find Gattsy on Goosebumps on any podcast platform, and you can follow Gattsy on Goosebumps at @goosebumps.podcast on Instagram and follow Alex on Twitter and Instagram at @la…
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At long last, Andy and Alyssa return to Goosebumps Series 2000 with #21: The Haunted Car. Along the way, they discuss Home Improvement, cars, Jocelyn from Bob's Burgers, The Virgin Suicides, ghost missions, dangerous dads, The Conjuring, Dr. Death, faking expertise, Catch Me If You Can, evil sexy cars, Stephen King's Christine (of course), Titane, …
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This week, Andy and Alyssa read Give Yourself Goosebumps #8: The Curse of the Creeping Coffins. Along the way, they discuss art and science; Liz & Dick; desecrated graves; tile puzzles; seraphim; Elvira; Last Night in Soho; co-op living; real estate schemes; transing characters; the yellow pages; humane ghost trapping; The Most Dangerous Game; sett…
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This week, Andy and Alyssa get NSFW with arguably the best Give Yourself Goosebumps they’ve read to date, GYG #7: Under the Magician’s Spell. Along the way, they discuss nonbinary representation; your local tv listings; Joan Crawford; fog machines; the Necronomicon; the crucifixion; a fanart request; fireballing; dolly jelly; regular tools; The Wiz…
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This week, Andy and Alyssa read Give Yourself Goosebumps #6: Beware of the Purple Peanut Butter. Along the way, they discuss Ritter sport; childcare costs; Staying Out of the Basement; undercompensated academic labor; counting by fives; Persephone; Peppermint Patty; broken windows theory; George Washington and George Washington Carver; Officer Jenn…
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This week, Andy and Alyssa read Give Yourself Goosebumps #5: Night in Werewolf Woods. Along the way, they discuss their new relationship to the closet; 30 years of Goosebumps (shorturl.at/HIQ34); wolf dance parties; nerds; Robert “That F*ckin Guy” Frost; Shark Week; pewter figures; triskaidekaphobia; Warhammer; The Boy 2; howling; trailblazing; gua…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #20: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. Along the way, they discuss anagrams; Arkham Horror; goths; Gertrude Stein; RPGs; Mazes and Monsters; Stranger Things; Through the Looking Glass; chess piece gender; Choose or Die; Stay Alive; A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court; The Sand Kings; destroyed towns; The…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #19: Return to Ghost Camp. Along the way, they discuss gayness; the Snatch…er; viral encephalitis; muscles; Mark McGwire; Gertrude Stein; bee-fueled ghosts; Kitty Genovese; Camp Crystal Lake; West Milford, NJ; deranged set pieces; summer camp taxation codes; the Rapture; scary foxes; “The Gingerbread Man”…
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Andy and Alyssa continue their discussion of Even More Tales to Give You Goosebumps (Special Edition #3) with "For the Birds," "Aliens in the Garden," and "The Thumbprint of Doom." Along the way, they discuss The Staircase; taxidermy; topiary; The Shining; Alice in Wonderland; Edward Scissorhands; speculative hedge maze history; creepy hotels; The …
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Andy and Alyssa continue their discussion of Even More Tales to Give You Goosebumps (Special Edition #3) with "I'm Telling," "The Haunted House Game," "Change for the Strange," and "The Perfect School." Along the way, they discuss art contests, King Midas, turning to stone, Patrick Skene Catling's The Chocolate Touch, gargoyles (the creatures, the …
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In the first of this three-part series covering Special Edition #3 - Even More Tales to Give You Goosebumps, Andy and Alyssa read "The Chalk Closet" "Home Sweet Home," and "Don't Wake Mummy" Along the way, they discuss 17th-century recycling; Natalie Sideserf; Dante’s Inferno; time loops; Triangle; too-strict teachers; Roald Dahl; The Third Wave; T…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #18: Horrors of the Black Ring. Along they way, they discuss HR Giger’s jewelry box; slow deaths; sociopathic joiners; Barbie rating scales; A Dangerous Son; unrequited love; Angel; Maria Bafmord; Shrill; corruption; possession; ruining school events; Never Been Kissed; Grease; Daria; cursed rings; passin…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #17: The Werewolf in the Living Room. Along they way, they discuss Fritz Haarmann; shark tooth necklaces; Mario jokes; werewolf teeth; bifurcated story form; The Bailey School Kids; human trafficking; merchandizing; raisin squares; Teddy Roosevelt; Sylvia Likens; the layered look; following someone who do…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #16: The Mummy Walks. Along they way, they discuss some first-rate #FoodWatch; hijacking; the basis of national economies; Jeep safety; snake wranglers; Shirley Jackson’s “Paranoia”; the Black Mirror episode “White Bear”; Old Enough; Michael Chabon’s The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay; The Da Vin…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #15: Scream School. Along they way, they discuss new heights of GooseDaddy issues; circling around good storylines without entering them; Doug Jones; postmodern ennui; L.A. novels; Don DeLillo; Harold Bloom’s The Anxiety of Influence; awkward snakes; the new VW Bug; British colonial uniforms; #MeToo; Carl…
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Andy and Alyssa return to the Fear Street series with R.L. Stine's controversial tome The Best Friend (1997). Along the way, they discuss My Cousin Rachel; man hands; Brian de Palma; memory lapses; mirroring; gendered exercise; Love is Blind; Guns n' Roses; hysteria; queer villains; Single White Female; Nella Larsen’s Passing; All About Eve; hair t…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #14: Jekyll and Heidi. Along they way, they discuss grief; Walt Disney’s Beauty and the Beast; billboards in Vermont; 411; class tensions; fiction v. nonfiction; Gothic tropes; ski sweaters; the Foundation; Heidi; exposition; IT: Chapter 2; Spiral; Shamela; orphans sent to live with mysterious relatives; …
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #13: Return to HorrorLand. Along they way, they discuss Tom ; meta horror; Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit; mini Super 8 cameras; Pedro Almodóvar’s Bad Education/La mala educación; computerized puppets, or robots; complex machines; avant-garde signage; sadism; Prometheus; Videodrome; COPS; the monorail; sports…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #12: Brain Juice. Along the way, they discuss alien orthography; New Jersey’s South Mountain Reservation; theatricality; the smart kid bullies of New Jersey; Surgeon Simulator; cow tools; exposing the ignorance of the faculty; norming and intelligence; Shel Silverstein; hiding your drug use; A Body to Die…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #11: Attack of the Graveyard Ghouls. Along the way, they discuss Pickle Rick; personal essays; literal field trips; metamorphosis; the danse macabre; Torrey Peters’s Detransition, Baby; gravestone curses; Helen Gurley Brown’s Sex and the Single Girl; the Manson family; coded trans stories; gender euphoria…
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In this episode, Andy and Alyssa finish their discussion of Special Edition #2 - More Tales to Give You Goosebumps with stories 8-10: “Shell Shocker,” “Poison Ivy,” and “The Spirit of the Harvest Moon.” Along the way, they discuss science fair strategies; the Australian trumpet; yonic imagery; Michigan J. Frog; Wonderfalls; piles of bones; Texas Ch…
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On this minisode, Andy reads from Give Yourself Goosebumps #4: The Deadly Experiments of Dr. Eeek, while Alyssa chooses her own adventure. // Music by Haunted Corpse // Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com…
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Andy and Alyssa continue their discussion of More Tales to Give You Goosebumps - Special Edition #2. They read "You Gotta Believe Me!," "Suckers!," "Dr. Horror's House of Video," and "The Cat's Tale." Along the way, they discuss the Emperor of San Francisco, the dangers of television, Rent-A-Pal, cornfields, The Twilight Zone's "It's a Good Life," …
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In the first of this three-part series covering Special Edition #2 - More Tales to Give You Goosebumps, Andy and Alyssa read "The Werewolf's First Night" "P.S., Don't Write Back," and "Something Fishy." Along the way, they discuss marshmallows on hamburgers; Rocky Horror Picture Show; The Matrix: Resurrections; Through the Looking Glass; secretive …
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On this minisode, Andy and Alyssa play a game of LMN vs. RLS: Alyssa reads a plot description, and Andy has to guess whether it's from the Lifetime Movie Network or R.L. Stine. // Music by Haunted Corpse // Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and ge…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #10: Headless Halloween. Along the way, they discuss going headless; sadism; My Cousin Vinny; Dr. Bunsen Honeydew; low-budget raves; anagrams; A Clockwork Orange; audience complicity; Job’s suffering; Hostel; the Saw franchise; sinister parties; Eyes Wide Shut; le Théâtre des Vampires; Blade; falling to a…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #9: Are You Terrified Yet? Along the way, they discuss Battleship Potemkin, the meaning of bravery, crushing, strange bets, Stanley Milgram's Obedience to Authority, changing schools, There's Someone Inside Your House, runaway babies, The Witches, Louise Erdrich's "I'm a Mad Dog Biting Myself for Sympathy…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #8: Fright Camp. They discuss The Art of Goosebumps; cinema verité; McKamey Manor; sailing sunfish; meeting your maker; Basic Instinct; Marianne; The Amber Spyglass; unethical artists; In the Earth; The Haunting of Hill House; Scream 3; sadism; Funny Games; Haunt; real-life horror; Peeping Tom; No Escape;…
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On this minisode, we read Goosepunk messages and discuss R.L. Stine's take on classical literature and what we love about Melbourne. // Music by Haunted Corpse // Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #7: Revenge R Us. They discuss abusive relationships, #JusticeForTara, frosted tips, classism and xenophobia, Karens, store-bought cake, small businesses, whether birds can have twins, hair horror, The Way Down, Dragula Season 4, xenophobia, Drag Me to Hell, The X-Files, urbanoia, sibling abuse, We Need t…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #6: I Am Your Evil Twin. They discuss Mortonville, PA; donut hacks; infernal architecture; mack trucks; screensavers; THE FUTURE OF CLONING; The Full Monty; old college roommates; experimental prose; Hugo Simpson; The Parent Trap; It Takes Two; Luke and Leia; Blood Rage; Dead Ringer and Dead Ringers; Eve …
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Andy and Alyssa conclude their three-part series on Tales to Give You Goosebumps #1 with a discussion of "Click," "Broken Dolls," and "A Vampire in the Neighborhood." In their discussion of "Click," they talk about laser discs, capitalist boredom, ironic wish fulfillment, time-controlling devices, the "Time Out" episode of Creepshow, Charmed, the "…
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On this minisode, Alyssa reads from Give Yourself Goosebumps #3: Trapped in Bat Wing Hall, while Andy chooses their own adventure. // Music by Haunted Corpse // Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com…
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Andy and Alyssa continue their three-part series covering Tales to Give You Goosebumps #1, covering "Strangers in the Woods," "Good Friends," "How I Got My Bat," and "Mr. Bear." In their discussion of "Strangers in the Woods," they talk about peanut butter fudgies; why directors wear baseball caps; Far From Home: The Adventures of Yellow Dog; errat…
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In the first of this three-part series covering Tales to Give You Goosebumps #1, Andy and Alyssa read "The House of No Return," "Teacher's Pet," and "Strained Peas." In their discussion of "The House of No Return," they talk about the first person plural, Jeffrey Eugenides's "The Virgin Suicides" (1993), Edwin Arlington Robinson's "The House on the…
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On this minisode, Andy and Alyssa play a classic field trip bus ride game, with a Goosebumps twist. Andy learns that they completely missed the point of this particular activity as a kid. Alyssa wants to get ripped for Vanessa. // Music by Haunted Corpse // Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com Fo…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #5: Invasion of the Body Squeezers, Part 2. They discuss exoskeletons; screen doors; AIDS panic; pillow fights; the LAPD; communal swimsuits; locker rooms; Elder Things; mind-body dualism; foreign invasion; Train to Busan (2016); aliens with attachment issues; The Puppet Masters (1994); xenomorphs; alien …
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #4: Invasion of the Body Squeezers, Part 1. As they talk about the first half of this two-parter, they discuss War of the Worlds (1953), disturbing nature program(me)s, The Children's Hour (1961), phone creeps, horror movie special effects, beepers, problems with authority, Andy's go-to excuse for getting…
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On this minisode, Andy and Alyssa return yet again to the Amazon, and its reviewers deliver. They cover opinions on Goosebumps 20-25: The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight, Go Eat Worms!, Ghost Beach, Return of the Mummy, Phantom of the Auditorium, and Attack of the Mutant. Could one of the reviewers be R.L. Stine himself? Listen to find out! // Music by…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #3: Creature Teacher. Along the way, they discuss eating the irregular cookie; prologues; comedy as coping mechanism; Nancy Grace; eugenics in the U.S. educational system; complex molecules; scary boarding schools; Clive Barker’s “Pig Blood Blues” (1984); Milgram; A Little Princess (1905); Suspiria (1977;…
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Andy and Alyssa read Goosebumps Series 2000 #2: Bride of the Living Dummy. Along the way they discuss Goodnight Mommy (2015), passive aggression, Slappy's new look, anger and anxiety, artist dads, The Bone Collector (1999), awkward gags, children's entertainers, coffin questions, Slappy's themes, heteropatriarchy, domestic abuse and implied sexual …
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On this minisode, Andy and Alyssa revisit Give Yourself Goosebumps #2: Tick Tock, You're Dead! This time, Andy does the time traveling. Along the way, they encounter, dinosaurs, quicksand, knights, and coin flips. // Music by Haunted Corpse // Follow @saypodanddie on Twitter and Instagram, and get in touch at saypodanddie@gmail.com Follow @saypodan…
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Season 2 of Say Podcast and Die! kicks off as Andy and Alyssa discuss Goosebumps Series 2000 #1 Cry of the Cat. We talk musical theater; #BirdWatch; Spartacus; severed heads; Carrie White; moms with boundary issues; Aunt Gayle; a possible Dogface cameo; cat ladies; Pet Sematary (1983); the return of Whitey; raising the dead; another mad science twi…
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