Parenting A Struggling Teen عمومی
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Parenting Post-wilderness is your guide to parenting a struggling teen, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment. Your guides to Parenting Post-wilderness are Beth Hillman, a life coach for parents of struggling teens and mom to a post-wilderness teen, and part-time co-host Seth Gottlieb, a wilderness therapy guide turned teen and young adult recovery coach. Their unique combination of experience and training yields candid conversations chock full of practical, act ...
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Going back to old patterns is part of the process. In a perfect world, we’d change our behavior and never make the same mistake again. And so would our struggling teens. But perfection doesn’t exist, and there’s no such thing as a magic switch that makes everything work out perfectly all of a sudden. I know how hard it is to experience a setback yo…
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Are you allowing your child to learn through failure? There’s a thin line between offering safety and comfort. Just like safety, offering comfort to your kid is a way of protection. It’s a way to protect your child so they don’t have to experience the hardships and difficulties that you had to go through yourself. But is it really in your child’s b…
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When does your help start to hinder your teen’s growth? As parents, we want to help our kids as much as possible and protect them from discomfort. It seems like our generation has taken this belief to an extreme though. Did you know that the age at which parents allow their kids to go out and explore the world by themselves autonomously (for exampl…
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Listening is the key that unlocks understanding and it allows us to be more helpful to our teens (and others!). So how can we become better listeners? Not only to our struggling teens, our children, but to everyone around us? “The more I let go of what I think my adult children should or shouldn’t do, the more they have taken accountability for the…
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How can you help your teen become more independent? This one simple question will help you boost your parenting skills for daily decision-making. Parenting is an interesting thing… One day our child is completely dependent on us and we’re in charge of everything. Then they grow up and it’s hard to know what we’re still in charge of and what not. Ho…
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How can you help your struggling teen take more accountability? What can you do to help your teen understand choice, consequence, and accountability? Those are the questions Seth and I will be exploring in today’s episode. [Struggling to set boundaries & consequences? Check out my free guide to help you create your own Parent Home Plan 🗺️] Our brai…
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How can you prepare for your teen to come home after treatment? Last week’s guest mom of a teen struggling with his mental health, suicidal ideation, and self-harm is back and we dive deeper into the journey after treatment, and the lessons she learned (and is learning) in order to come to her own way of being so she can be the best parent she can …
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“We were mentally panicked. We didn’t want our kid to die and we didn’t know what to do.” Today's episode will hit close to home for many of you. We're diving into the raw and real journey of a mother facing her son's struggles with mental health, including suicidal ideation and self-harm. She reflects on her son growing up as an emotionally needy …
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80. What to Do When Your Teen Is Stuck in Unhealthy Behavior? Have you ever found yourself in that heart-wrenching place where you're watching your child or young adult spiral into unhealthy behaviors? Seth and I know that pain all too well, both from our professional experiences and personal journeys. Today, we delve deep into the complexities of …
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Ever noticed your brain filling with worst-case scenarios when you have limited information on what’s happening? We’ve all been there. It’s what our brains do. But why? And how can we make sure we’re not parenting out of fear? In this episode, Seth and I explore the concept of fear-based parenting and the tendency to jump to negative conclusions wh…
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Collaborating with your child on technology habits, can you imagine? Or your child making the decision to put down their game console and go for a run instead, not because ‘mom’s been nagging about it’ but because it’s what they want themselves? In this second part of my interview with Emily, we’re diving deeper into how you can collaborate with yo…
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Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant battle to manage your children's screen time? Maybe you worry that it’s too late? Today’s guest, Emily Jones, is the brain behind Family Tech University and shares her insights with us today on how to approach this modern parenting dilemma. She emphasized that while it's crucial for parents to set effecti…
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How can you shift your parenting focus from your children's behaviors to understanding the emotions and needs driving those behaviors? We know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of focusing solely on your child’s behavior. It’s what you see, what’s on the forefront, and it’s so easy to notice: whether they wake up in time, their grades, etc. …
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How can I not rescue, and not enable, and at the same time not leave my kid completely in the dark when they’re struggling? This is the question we’re going to dive into in today’s episode. As a parent, it’s SO hard to see your kid struggling and not knowing how to help. I’ve been there, and I know it’s beyond a nightmare. You’re fearful of doing t…
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How can you support your teen with their college applications without writing every single essay for them? If you have a graduating senior in the house, this question has probably crossed your mind. Are they actually writing their essays? Are they putting in enough effort? How much should you bug them about it? Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, MD, found…
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Are you choosing to suffer? Pain is part of life – we can’t avoid it. Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, experienced this first-hand when her 9-year-old daughter got diagnosed with a rare disease. The pain this brought was inevitable. But there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Suffering happens when we resist the pain. By resisting to accept wha…
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How do you respond when your kid is feeling sad? Will you try to fix things for them? Help them out? It might feel like the right thing to do but you’re sending out a different message than you likely intended. Seeing your kid struggle with their emotions is hard for many reasons. You want to make them feel better. Sometimes, you might even be runn…
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How do you live with your teen who’s using? And how do you know whether your behavior as a parent is supportive or enabling? There’s a fine line between the two… As if that isn’t hard enough to figure out already, additionally, many parents are afraid of losing the relationship they have with their teen by having hard conversations or sticking to t…
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School and academics can cause a lot of tension in your household. No matter your good intentions or whether or not you have the skills and knowledge to help your teen with their school work, getting guidance and encouragement from you can be triggering for them. On the other hand, it can also cause a lot of frustration for you as the parent when y…
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What would it feel like if you just got to love your child at the dinner table instead of having conflicts over due dates or presentations? To be able to take that completely out of the equation? An Executive Function coach might be exactly what your family needs. Chrissy Nichols is an Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reint…
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The journey your teen is on isn’t an easy one. They’re trying to make healthier choices, also when it comes to the people they hang out with. As a parent, you might feel relief when your child decides to cut ties with a ‘bad influence’, making it hard for you to empathize with them. But remember that it’s a completely different experience for them.…
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Christmas is around the corner and brings along a certain level of stress and anxiety in parents and teens alike. We want the holidays to be fun and merry and have a lot of expectations about what it will or should be like. But when not everything turns out the way we expected, it’s those expectations that bring frustration and disappointment. Join…
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Backburner issues: those little things we’re annoyed about but feel too small or irrelevant to discuss. So we put them on the backburner where they keep growing and growing until they become this big issue in our relationship. Sounds familiar? In this second part of my interview with Tanya Hale, who’s an incredible mid-life relationship coach, she …
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Are you parenting your kid as a team or does it feel more like you’re in the boxing ring with the other parent, trying to prove that you’re right and they’re wrong? When emotions run high, it’s sometimes hard to acknowledge that you’re on the same team as the other parent. Instead of sitting down and listening to each other, we automatically shift …
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How much support is too much? There’s a therapist, a tutor, an EF coach, maybe a mentor, and a basketball coach, and sometimes our kids are just like: ‘That’s enough!’. We must figure out how to listen to them and still give them the support they need. At a certain point, we need to give our kids the time and space to implement what they've learned…
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Wilderness isn’t bad, nor good. Hard, nor easy. A blessing, nor a curse. These are the thoughts we might have, but they’re not the facts. In this episode, I’m (re)introducing the concept of facts versus thoughts (in other words, the stories we make up in our minds) in the concept of our wilderness experiences. The experience of wilderness is made u…
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Sending your kid away to treatment often comes with a lot of shame. The shame of not being a good enough parent, not being the person that can help them, and so on. This inner critic shows up in your head and can be incredibly loud, right? I’m continuing my conversation with David Bedrick and we invite you to have a different look at this inner cri…
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As a parent, one of the hard things is living with regrets. We’re trying our best to make the right decisions for our children and always do the right thing but none of us is perfect. When I took David Bedrick’s Unshaming course, it completely changed the way I see myself and some of my past actions as a parent. It truly changed my life. So without…
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But Beth, how can I de-escalate my teen when they’re blaming me for something I’ve actually done? It was one of my clients asking me this the other day. And I know she’s not alone, hearing things like: “My basketball career is ruined because you sent me to treatment” “I’m losing my friends because you don’t allow me to use my phone” And yes, you DI…
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Let’s continue our conversation on how to de-escalate ourselves and take the conversation a bit deeper. Inspired by a Brene Brown interview, Seth and I explore the importance of communicating our levels of regulation to our partners. What do each of us, at this exact moment, have the bandwidth for? We only have so much energy in the day, and knowin…
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When emotions run high, it’s not just our teens that need de-escalation. We do too. Learning how to de-escalate yourself and regulate your emotions can be revolutionary in your life and relationship with your teen. It sure was for me. It might seem unattainable right now (I’ve been there), but you can do it too. Believe me, you can! Let me guide yo…
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We’re not just responsible for our kids, we’re also responsible for teaching them how to be responsible for themselves. We want to teach our kids how to solve their own problems and be self-reliant and self-governing. I get it. It’s SO hard not to intervene when you see your teen trying to figure something out by themselves, taking the long route, …
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The tension is building and the situation is starting to escalate from bad to worse. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? As easy as it is to join our teens in this escalation, they need us to be regulated and available in order to de-escalate. Opening up the conversation helps us create a deeper connection and enables both sides to open up a bit more…
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Sometimes it’s hard to trust our teen’s journey. We might not be able to visibly see the progress our teen is going through, even though it surely is happening. At the same time, we have our own ideas of what our teen’s progress should look like. When you hold on to your ideas of what progress should look like, and where your teen should be, the pr…
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Ready to start creating your very own Parent Home Plan? Don’t worry, you don’t have to start from scratch, because I’m sharing my Parent Home Plan Template with you for free! Click here for your free copy of my Parent Home Plan template! In this episode on creating your parent home plan, we discuss: The ins and outs of my Parent Home Plan template …
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We’re a few episodes into our mini-series on boundaries and creating a Parent Home Plan to be consistent and follow through on your boundaries. Now, we’re getting closer to the actualization of your own home plan! In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through the three phases of building your Home Plan: Phase 1: Preparation Phase 2: Structure P…
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Moments of disagreement are perfectly normal when there are more than one person involved in raising a (struggling) teen. One parent wants to implement a certain boundary, while the other doesn’t. One parent wants to be more strict, while the other prefers a looser approach. Today, I want to propose some ideas to you about ‘same page parenting’, as…
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Let’s get into action parents! Today we’re talking all about setting the stage to create a parent home plan that actually works! If there is one takeaway from this episode, it’s this: Boundaries are not a way to control your teen. They’re a way to control yourself. They’re a way to take up your role as a parent and lead. The change begins with us, …
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Some people think that being a parent coach means I have it all figured out. Hah! I’ll tell you about a situation that happened just last week that will show you how untrue this is! Even though I’m a coach, and Seth’s a mentor, we’re not done. We’re still a work in progress. And we always will be. But by being intentional, and realizing the growth …
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Many parents confuse setting boundaries with requests or expectations but they are not the same. The way you phrase your boundaries and present them to your teen is incredibly important. Let’s learn more about these common pitfalls in setting boundaries in today’s episode! In this episode on common pitfalls in setting boundaries, we discuss: Unders…
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Are you having trouble setting healthy boundaries with your teen and actually sticking to them? If you are, you’re not alone! It’s one of the topics I get the most questions on, and I used to be the worst at it myself! But I can tell you this: Setting boundaries and following through with the consequences is in the best interest of your whole famil…
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I’m continuing my conversation with Les Harris, wilderness therapist and LCW, who has some incredible insights to share about the importance of listening to the feedback our children give us. Let’s start with an important reminder: none of us are perfect. We all mess up from time to time, and that's totally okay. Now, here's a game-changer: listeni…
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Today, I’m joined by Les Harris, a wilderness therapist and LCW to talk about the things we can do as parents before thinking of sending our kids to wilderness. Here’s one thing both Les and I know to be true: A regulated parent has the ability to regulate a dysregulated child. Isn’t that what we all want to be able to do? If this feels unattainabl…
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How often do you wake up and your mind starts racing about all the things you have to do that day, leaving you paralyzed? How many times do you start thinking of everything that needs to be done this week, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted? When tasks or to-do lists seem long and overwhelming, it can become hard to accomplish even the s…
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What advice would a wilderness guide give us parents? That’s a question we’ll get answered today. Mark Adamski is back with invaluable advice about parenting and our relationship with our teens. With the right mindset, anything in a relationship can be fixed. That’s how Mark sees it and I couldn’t agree more. So what does this mindset entail? What …
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Being the sibling of a teen that’s struggling and goes to treatment isn’t easy. Mark Adamski, who is now a wilderness guide himself, experienced this first-hand. In today’s episode, he shares his experiences when his brother went to treatment for substance abuse and how this eventually led Mark to become a wilderness guide. Mark is sharing his stor…
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Every one of us has about 80.000 thoughts each day. Most of our life is created with our minds. And the more we have a specific thought, the more it tends to become a belief. So, what if you’re having negative thoughts about your teen? What if thoughts like ‘I just really don’t like my kid right now’ or ‘I can hardly stand my kid right now’ have cr…
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If your teen is coming up to their sobriety anniversary, or even their anniversary of going to or coming home from wilderness, you might feel the need to celebrate. But should we indeed celebrate during those anniversaries or does your teen need something else instead? With his own 5-year sobriety anniversary coming up, Seth shared his perspective …
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Is it time for your kid to go back to high school after treatment? Maybe the transition back to school will run flawlessly. For many families though, returning back to regular high school isn’t the preferred option. Or possibly it’s simply not working. Online education might be an excellent solution! Today, I’m interviewing Anjilee and Sara, co-fou…
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Feelings can be described as a vibration we experience in our bodies. Often we think that those feelings are involuntary and caused by life circumstances out of our control. But actually, our feelings are caused by what we think. And the good thing about this is that we can control our thoughts pretty well! The pause is a space we can create in ord…
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