Sooooo this week we called in Pod Papi "The South Got Sum'n To Say" Huss to chat about strip clubs! That's right...we get down to the nitty gritty about Atlanta being the strip club capital of the world, which clubs have the best atmosphere and just why Baltimore strip clubs ain't the most happening places to hang out. I run down my strip club adve…

So after a nice long hiatus we turned on the mics and what we thought was going to be an easy cruise back into discussing the world of pRon quickly went off the deep end as we high-dived off the cliff of wild shit and talked about...uhhh... everything! For the Porn Clip of The Week I ran down my new favorite search words on The 'Hub. Then we gave a…

WE'RE BAAAAAAAACK! The world's most problematic porn podcast is back to missionary your screens and backshot your ear waves. And as usual, we take off at warp speed and shit goes off the rails rather quickly. We tried to hold together as long as we could which lasted all of about 1 minute. The Porn Clip of The Week turned into our version of Who's …

This week we turned on the microphones and things got wild (as usual). We started out with the Porn Clip of The Week and give some play-by-play on Kendra Allure's strap-on scene. And then I do my first sexual wellness device review aka I tried out a sex toy for "research purposes". I bought a masturbator from Get Lucky Toys to try out. Not gonna li…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* B-A-W-L-S...That's this week's episode. All about balls. From regular self-checkups to cleaning them, we talk about balls. The Porn Clip of The Week is from RickNastyXXX. It's a nice threesome quadruple-handed gawk gawk scene with plenty of attention on the balls but me and the homie weren't seeing eye-to-eye on the rimjob in th…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* This week was another wild one as we turned on the mics and got to talking about the wild shit we see all around the wonderful world of porn. Before we got started MC Baltimore County Forever decided to work on his 90s hype man skills and do an audition for the remake of "Who's The Man?" starring all the old rappers. Then we tal…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* Have you ever wondered who wins in the Kinky vs Nasty battle? We sure have. So, County Trill and I sat down, plugged in and talked about it. But first we discussed this week's Porn Clip of The Week and oh boy!....It was an interesting one. What started out as a venture in watching the legend of Nina Hartley turned into an intere…

WE BACK BAY-BEEEEEEE! After an adventurous summer of WTF (at least for me) me and Country Trill are back in the lab talking all the shit in the world as only we can. This week's Porn Clip of The Week is from Alexis Tae. Hop on your favorite porn site and search for "Alexis Tae gets pounded" and watch this excellent anal extravaganza. After that we …

"Supervisor called me 'bout 4 o'clock. Said they got me on tape stealing boxes." That's not just a line from one of my favorite movies, it actually happened to me! In another ridiculous adventure that is my, yes, I got fired for stealing boxes from my job. It's cool though, they called and unfired me later that same day (LOL!). But none of that mat…

IT'S JULY!!! Which can only mean one thing...it's our birthday month b*tches! Me, Lauren (@shxt_vegans_eat), and County Trill turned on the microphones and talked about how awesome Cancer season is. Period...that's it.This week's PCOTW makes a good use of the term: jawn. The scene is a mediocre watch but it was chosen as a salute to our Philly Lapt…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* Ohhhhhhh boy! This week is a WILD one! For the Porn Clip of The Week we head over to Xvideos and dive into the "ebony massage" category. While giving a rundown of the clips by Andell_Flow_Sensual (@andell_flow) we both realized that we both fell down the porn rabbit hole and stopped on the same clips LOL! Our main topic is about…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* From the slums of Porn City, Poon-Tang Clan strikes again. Huss, Norm, Dirty Timb Vic, Baltimore County Forever, Big Sis Stace and the LAPTOP Man. L-A-P-T-O-P MAN...L-A-P-T-O-P Man, L-A-P-T-O-P Man here I am, here I am the Laptop Man! Yooooo...this week we come through kicking doors in with black Air Force Ones, black hoodies, s…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* Have you ever watched a movie with a sex scene and thought to yourself "They GOTTA be doing it for real!" No? Just us? Yeah okay! Well this week we talk about a few of our favorite sex scenes. From "Idlewild" to Rosie Perez's boobs in "Do The Right Thing" we cover quite a few things. We even give some honorable mentions to the o…

We're baaaaaack! Your favorite porncasters are back in the building this week with the filth, flarn, and filth that you've been missing. It's May, which means that it's a lot going on. Mother's Day is coming up and we would like to send love and respect to all of the mothers around the world. But, it's The Laptop Chronicles so we definitely have to…

This week, we were sitting on the porch like Craig and Smokey and we saw a car creeping up the block with the lights off. We yelled "DRIVE-BY!" but then the car stopped in front of us and we saw it was our homie, Stacie! She pulled up and we got to talking about a few things starting with some friend zone issues, a few random questions and we talke…

This week we got down and dirty with our resident problematic homie, Dirty Timb Vic. What started out as a shoutout to the legendary Mr. Marcus went left and off a cliff rather quickly. Vic definitely brought the "drunk uncle at the cookout" energy and County Trill wasn't helping. Saying this episode was WILD is an understatement. Somewhere along t…

This week's episode is all about being random! Me and Corey pulled out the red cups, poured some rum and went cruising down Random Blvd in the '64 hittin' switches. For this week's news we have some very sad news for the Hip-hop community as we talk about DMX and his life's struggles and victories. We ask everyone reading this to say a prayer for D…

Thank you for tuning in to the 2021 Laptop Chronicles Porn Final 4 brought to you by Handy's Hand Lube, "If you're jerkin' that means it workin'!" And also by the Lotus Flower Bomb Company makers of fine vagina spray and nipple softeners. Today, we have two great match-ups between some real heavy hitters. In the East Region, we have Black Patrol vs…

*NEW EPISODE ALERT* This week Corey and I took off on a wild ride! We journeyed into the career of the incomparable, the legendary Nina Hartley. Miss Hartley's career in the adult entertainment industry has spanned more than five decades of fun and teaching. From performing in hundreds of adult movies and scenes to speaking to government agencies a…

I am back! And this time I brought some friends. This week I got to sit down with my podcast partner in crime, Corey, and his girlfriend Lauren of Shxt_Vegans_Eat on IG. From the second we hit record hilarity ensued. We talk about why Corey got the dirty channels cut off to Lauren accidentally going on vacation to a swinger's resort. And of course,…

WE PODDIN' BABY! This week we're back! I sit down with my main man Corey from Baltimore County Forever Podcast and we jump off the high dive into the porn deep end. We start off with a MAJOR announcement: Baltimore County Forever Podcast is now available on YouTube! For this week's discussion we talk about the trailblazing career of Desiree West. S…

This episode is all about the man, the myth, the legend: Benjamin Franklin. He may have invented bifocals but he also invented the $40 price tag for clapping cheeks. The original International Player, he tried to fuck his friend's girlfriend in London and spent countless hours in red light districts. He may be one the reasons the Declaration of Ind…

This week's episode begins with an announcement to stay TF out of DC for the next few days. No really, they're shutting the town down until after the inauguration. The Porn Clip of the Week involves some watersports, the sniper pussy eating position, and a hair Sharpie. And for the main topic: ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Median Response). Is there a p…

This week is the first week of the new year and it's been a long year already! This week, friend of the podcast and homie for life, Norm Regular has blessed the world with his first full length LP available at: NormRegular.bamdcamp.com Buy, download, and play for the world to hear this work of musical art. This week's Porn Clip Of The Week is about…

*BREAKING NEWS* Pornhub has announced that it is removing uploaded user content from unverified accounts. The move comes after a report from the New York Times that followed the lives of child sex trafficking victims whose videos were uploaded to the site. MasterCard and Visa also announced that the financial companies will no longer transactions t…

From the early onset of our education we are taught that the Pilgrims and Native Americans were brought together in a harmonious ceremony of partnership and that is why we deep fry turkeys, wonder who made the mac and cheese, and fight over things that are marked on sale. And that is absolute bullshit. So this episode I talk about just how wrong th…

Tumblr is an expensive social media network that encompassed art, music, knowledge, and of course, sex. The platform was used by millions of people worldwide and was great for networking and finding common interests. However, Tumblr was set to be bought by several corporate media giants and thus, sexual explicit content had to be purged from the si…

The United States has always been a society of political and social differences. Currently, in 2020, we are facing one of the most important voting movements of our lifetimes. The issue of voting has been a contested issue since the passing of voting rights in favor of certain individuals and excluding others such as: Blacks, Native Americans, Lati…

Hear ye! Hear ye! No your ears are not deceiving you...The Laptop Chronicles is now in surround sound. The homie from Baltimore County Forever Podcast comes through and we talk about the issue of races and politics in adult entertainment, the world of Only Fans, the importance of voting, sex workers unions, and of course, music. Make sure you get o…

I was perusing some adult entertainment (as usual) and found myself knee deep in the "tribbing" category and decided to add some "squirting" to my search which proved to be some very good watching. So the episode I give a quick rundown on the definition of "tribbing" (hint: there's an academic term for it) and squirting. Also, shoutout to Mental He…

This year has been some shit: socially, politically, culturally, and personally. It's taken almost 2 months to plug the microphone in and get back to the world of Laptop Chronicle-ing. The door is open to my mind and I pour out a few things that have weighed me down. Welcome to season 3 of The Laptop Chronicles…

This episode I parked myself down at Kosmic Nails with the grooming guru Ms. Katie and we started off talking about the 2020 anthem that is controversial but shouldn't be, "W.A.P." And from there the conversation went in a few directions from threesomes to rubbing one out at work. Don't forget to stop by Kosmic Nails for a great experience. Enjoy!…

I got a chance to sit down with Amiyah Deziire and we talked about the importance of mental health, working from home, effective communication, getting comfortable with your partner, and a whole lot more. She is the author of "Midnight Confessions", a book about being open to love and positive affirmations. So grab some sangria, sit back, tune in a…

This week I get a chance to talk to Alex of GirlChatChronicles on Instagram. We talked about how funny group chats are, ethical porn, hygiene (hint #1: CLIP YOUR DAMN FINGERNAILS!), and most importantly, some proper techniques for rubbing the clit (hint #2: it's not a turntable). So listen and enjoy!…

Open marriages are cool when folks know how to keep their mouths shut! This week I give my take on what August Alsina should've said in telling the world that he had a relationship with married woman (here's a hint: he shouldn't have said anything). And then I switch it up...this week will be my 41st trip around the sun. I talk about Cancer season …

2020 has been a year of change, pain, frustration, and pessimism. June is Pride month for the LGBTQIA+ community and Black Music month. But we have seen this year's June be a time of communities and people rising en masse for social and cultural change that is centuries overdue. This episode, I sit down with a new guest to The Laptop Chronicles and…

'Erotique Noir/Black Erotica'...the sensuality and openness; The book that became a turning point and defining moment in my life. I was coming of age and looking around my social and cultural environment for things that reminded me of me. Going through puberty in a world full of Playboy's, Penthouse's, and Hustler's was fun and challenging. Then I …

This week, my main man from Baltimore County Forever Podcast comes through and we talk about...stuff.

I grew up listening to 90s Hip-Hop so when LL Cool J said "Back seat of my jeep/ let's swing an episode" I knew that I wanted to have car sex because he made it sound so awesome. So I did. And it is. But this episode I give a rundown on the ins and outs of car sex, from my "Pussymobile" to cab drivers having anal sex on London side streets. Tune in…

Since we can't watch the tournament this year I decided to run down my own bracket...porn style.

Not all lubes are created equal! But not enough lube is a bad thing. So I give a quick rundown on the different types of lube, which lube ingredients to avoid, and which ones may help you out.

This episode is all about dicks! Sure, you worry about getting it up but what about keeping it healthy? Is your prostate in good health? How is your bladder control? Is your dick skin smooth? Do you even think about your dick health aside from staying hard? Well, this episode is for you. What comes out of our bodies is just as important as what goe…

This week's episode is all about erotic asphyxiation also known as the "Choke Stroke". I give a quick history of how erectile dysfunction was cured before the invention of the blue pill and the dangers of choking yourself out. Then I give you a quick rundown on how I learned my Choke Stroke technique. Tune in and enjoy!…

This week is the start of the annual awards season for the adult entertainment industry with the Adult Video News (AVN) awards. I give you a few of my favorite categories and who I hope takes home awards this year. I talk a few of the other awards shows around the globe that recognizes the work that people put in to keep the world sex positive. Als…

I'm giving away some prizes! Check out the Instagram page: @the_laptop_chronicles on Saturday, January 11th for the 3 questions that will he asked about the podcast. The first person to answer each other correctly will be the winner!

Just some thank you's to everyone that listens, likes, reblogs, and supports The Laptop Chronicles. None of it would be possible or even matter if it wasn't for you all. So thank you for season 1 and get ready for season 2!

What can I say? My podren from Baltimore County Forever Podcast came through and what started out as a conversation about the best boobs in porn went absolutely left. From Jada Fire to newborns forming their own union and going on strike, we were completely smacked for this episode. There was WAY too much coquito a f vodquila in our cups for this o…

This week I grabbed my fedora and whip and went off to search for the porn holy grail. I learned quite a lot about how the concepts of sex that we use today have existed for thousands of years. I also learned that sodomy was problematic in 18th century France for a few reasons.

I went to get some chicken wings and ended up thinking about the hashtag FoodPorn. From there it led me to thinking about what turns us on and how do we navigate that in a relationship. Btw...the chicken wings were SLAMMIN' 😉