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Are you the woman who has everything except your man? Dating coach Evan Marc Katz will help you find him. Evan is the author of four books, has a blog with over 35 million readers, and has coached 13,000 women through Love U, his signature course that helps smart, successful women find lasting love. With a rare blend of wit, wisdom, and warmth, Evan is an invaluable asset to any woman who is frustrated with dating and wants to fix her broken man-picker. Each week, Evan gives tangible, practi ...
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I agree: the masculine/feminine thing is a little overdone. And yet I still think there’s value in emphasizing that women tend to have certain traits that men lack and therefore, crave. In this Love U Podcast, I’ll run down six of the most important ones and share examples of how I get to experience them in my marriage. If you listen and think, “He…
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My client Diana taught me a valuable lesson last week. After dating man with excellent long-term relationship potential, she wasn’t quite feeling it. Since she didn’t want to let a good catch go, she started to talk herself into why she should keep seeing him. Then she asked this ONE question that clarified EVERYTHING for her. In this quick Love U …
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Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Match… at a certain point, you’ve tried all the apps and you’re getting burned out. It’s so bad, you become convinced that the best way to find a partner is to stop dating online, lead your best life, and hope that you run into a quality, relationship-oriented single man. It may feel good to take a break from online dating; t…
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We all engage in wishful thinking, to some degree. Even when the evidence points to the answer being no, we find some sliver of hope that it can become a yes. Nowhere is this more evident than in dating. In this Love U Podcast, I share a story about my tortured “When Harry Met Sally” relationship that took up nearly two decades, and give you the co…
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Online dating apps have done two things: 1. Given men and women infinite options at their fingertips. 2. Tortured those same men and women since so few of those options pan out. In this Love U Podcast episode, I break down the five most prominent ways you can tell that your relationship isn’t going anywhere. Starting from the first date and going c…
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You know the feeling. You go on a great date or two. You catch feelings. You start to think about a future. You sleep with him. And then, a few weeks later, you discover that he is NOT the man you thought he was. It may be maddening but since it’s common, we need to talk about it. In this episode, I’ll share how dating is a show and why you don’t w…
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I’m returning to my roots from 20 years ago, when it was all about people and relationships and tangible breakthroughs that lead to lasting love. In this short video, I’ll share what that means for me and why it’s great for you. If you’re in pain and want coaching over the summer, I will be taking clients on a very limited basis. You can apply thro…
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Although dating coaches tend to emphasize compatibility over attraction, make no mistake: attraction is important. Good sex is important. And figuring out the blend between passion and comfort is the most important. In this episode, I walk you through the formula from Love U that has helped thousands of women find satisfying relationships – both ph…
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Even good relationships involve conflict and compromise. You know what it’s like to be with a guy who isn’t a fair fighter. He raises his voice. He shuts down. He hurls insults. He brings up other arguments. He doubles down and escalates the conflict even when he’s mistaken. You don’t want to be that guy. In this Love U Podcast, I share a communica…
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When you’ve been hurt and disappointed, it’s easy to assume that the next guy is going to do the same. The problem is that not all men are bad. And if you’re dating a nice, commitment-oriented guy and treat him like a composite of all the jerks you’ve dated in the past, you’re never going to get a nice guy. In this podcast, I tell a powerful story …
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You may find it annoying or triggering but it’s common for men to ask you why you’re still single. Instead of shutting down or overexplaining, it’s important to be able to answer this question with poise and confidence. If your reflexive answer to why you’re still single is “I just haven’t met the right guy,” you REALLY ought to listen to this. My …
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I know it should seem obvious but the fact that I recorded a podcast about it means that plenty of women still find married men alluring. In this episode, we’ll talk about why married men are often more romantic than single men AND 4 reasons why it absolutely doesn’t matter and you should run far, far away from any married guy who shows interest in…
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If you didn’t have a healthy nuclear family with loving married parents, its likely that you formed an attachment style that is either anxious or avoidant. But what happens when your anxiety turns into avoidance, and your avoidance turns into anxiety? This is something I see with women in Love U and a phenomenon that I felt was worth airing in toda…
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My readers often ask me to create specific programs for them. “Why can’t you create something for women in their 60’s who are facing a smaller dating pool with men who are retired, widowed, unhealthy and dealing with erectile dysfunction?” The answer is that despite the unique challenges facing women of different ages, 95% of dating and relationshi…
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You know the narrative. Men suck. There are no good ones left. They’re all narcissists or losers or emotionally unavailable. The cute ones don’t want to settle down. The ones who want to settle down aren’t attractive. When you finally find one you like, the compromises are too great. I’m not here to argue with you. What I will say, as a happily mar…
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My smart, successful clients have all loved and lost. Yet they recovered to rebuild their lives and fill it with meaningful work, travel, hobbies and friendship. Today’s question is whether this is enough. Is being happy alone a condition for finding love or is a trap that allows you to stay alone indefinitely? What’s the benefit of lasting love wh…
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While it’s easy to get mad at guys who overvalue youth and beauty, the truth is that you need more than looks to be with a quality man. In fact, quality men are all about how you make them FEEL. If your default behavior in relationships is to feel anxious and critical of your partner, it’s time to choose better men and make a big shift in how you s…
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When you’ve had bad luck with men, it’s easy to question your judgment. How important is chemistry? When can you tell if there’s compatibiity? How much time should you invest to discover if there’s enough of both? Most women waste years on the wrong men – and have no idea what to do differently. Today, I’m going to give you a three step process to …
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Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements. One of them is “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” Nowhere is that more relevant than in the world of dating. Texting, hooking up, ghosting, breadcrumbing, endless amounts of rejection. And yet none of it is personal. No one is out to get you. You’re just collateral damage in someone else’s journey. To succe…
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No one wants to become a dating expert. No one wants to go on 300 dates. No one wants to renew their Match membership. Yet, in order to find someone special, there is nothing more valuable than the power of perseverence. If you are one of the many people who have been dating online, on and off, for many years, I’m going to make a case for why you s…
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After 20 years of coaching, 1000 blog posts, 300 podcasts, I was bound to make some mistakes. We’re all human. We all have biases. We all have blind spots. On this episode, I’m going to share a few ways in which I’ve evolved over time and make a case for how it’s important to know the rules before you make exceptions to the rules. 🫶 Subscribe to Lo…
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Dating brings up all your insecurities. Am I attractive enough? Young enough? Smart enough? Am I worthy? When those thoughts are running through your head, it’s hard to be the best version of you. What IS the best version of you? Well, after listening to Selena Gomez on Smartless talk about her mental health issues that stem from being in the publi…
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If you’ve ever tried to rekindle a relationship with your ex, you’re aware of how powerful the allure can be. There’s a deep love, a deep understanding, a deep friendship that you don’t want to let go of. It seems much more comforting to go back to someone you love than to try your hand at meeting strangers online. Yet there’s a reason there’s a bo…
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If you were in a relationship without passion, you’ll look for passion your next partner. If you were with a financially unstable man, it makes sense to seek a man who is much wealthier. But sometimes, when you’re trying to correct a problem, you end up OVERCORRECTING. And when you swing too far in the other direction in reaction to your last relat…
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You may go months or years without a strong connection with a guy. When you find it, you want to preserve it at all costs. But what if you discover, sometime in the first month of dating, that there are major obstacles to a long-term relationship? Do you act on them? Or do you sweep them under the rug because it feels so good to be with him. If you…
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Dating can throw you off your axis. Whether you’re getting rejected by strangers online or being treated poorly by someone who claims to care about you, it’s easy to become anxious, confused, or angry. What I’m advocating for in today’s Love U Podcast is anchoring yourself in your own core values. Inspired by the book Master of Change by Brad Stulb…
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When you’ve been burned by men, it’s easy to see danger lurking around every corner. He’s friends with his ex? Probably a cheater. He’s unhappy at his job? Clinically depressed. He texts multiple times a day? Either needy or a lovebomber. In this Love U Podcast, we zoom out to ask an important question: is this a real problem or are you just afraid…
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It’s been said that happiness is the gap between our expectations and reality. In reality, no man is going to do exactly what you want, when you want it. This doesn’t mean that no man can ever love you; only that you need to close the gap between who you want him to be and who he is. Once you discard the men who are incapable of making you happy, h…
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Sex is important in a marriage, especially since you’re only going to be having sex with one person for the rest of your life. What happens when your libidos change over time and you’re not on the same page any longer? How do you handle the gap between your sex drive and his sex drive. My wife and I are lucky to have grown together on this issue bu…
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You’re not alone if you feel like the world’s on fire. But the type of complaining I’m talking about is the day to day stuff – the normal indignities of 21st century living. If you’re a smart, successful woman, you may have just about everything going for you but still stay in a negative space over half the time. That’s what we’re covering in this …
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I often mention that good relationships should be easy. It’s true. But that doesn’t mean there should never be conflict. Conflict is normal between two free-thinking adults; the key to your relationship is how you resolve that conflict. In this Love U Podcast, I share a small story from my marriage that is indicative of how two people who are deepl…
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Ever gone out with a guy who said he was attracted to you, was starting to fall for you, and wanted to get married someday – but later dumped you? Why would a man say such things if he didn’t mean them? The answer is trickier than you might think. See, he DID mean them – he just meant them in the moment. Check out this Love U Podcast to understand …
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Men and women have different advantages in dating. Women have the power to no to male advances. Women are the gatekeepers to sex. Women can usually expect a man to pick up the check and set the next date. So why is it that men are called “privileged” for taking advantage of the fact that we have a different biological clock? Beats the hell out of m…
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You’re willing to make tradeoffs at work. You’re willing to make tradeoffs with your home. You’re willing to make tradeoffs with friends and family. But you do not want to give up anything when it comes to choosing a spouse. And when you do, you usually compromise on the wrong things. So many things can derail a relationship that you need to know w…
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You’re busy. You’ve got work. You’ve got friends. You’ve got family. You’ve got travel and hobbies and anxiety and health issues. So many things are out of our control – and those things can slowly erode a solid relationship. In this Love U Podcast, I share a few stories about couples – including my wife and I – who managed to pull together when li…
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When you’ve been hurt before, the obvious move is to avoid getting hurt again. Guy slept with you and never called? Stop dating. Guy didn’t want to be your boyfriend after two months? Stop dating. Guy didn’t want to marry you after two years? Stop dating. Because intimacy has always led to heartbreak, your choices in men actually become WORSE. Sudd…
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It’s unfortunately commonplace for women to fall in love with men, who, due a confluence of events, are not emotionally available for the relationship that she wants. Sometimes, he’s separated. Sometimes, he’s divorce. Sometimes, he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Sometimes, he slammed with the normal trials of middle-aged men: loss of work, si…
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After 15 years with my wife, I realize I’ve lost touch with a common emotion: being in a dissatisfying relationship but not having the courage to leave. The gap between the confidence my clients display at work and the insecurity they display in relationships is astonishing. This all just goes to show that we’re emotional people, often raised with …
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I know men are supposed to be heartless and soulless. Sex machines who only text. Losers with no moral compass. Opponents on the battlefield of love. Surely, some of them are. But more of them, you may be surprised to remember, are actual human beings. Like you, they’re attracted to what they’re attracted to. Like you, they’ve made questionable cho…
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We all have a voice in our head. Michael Singer wrote about it in The Untethered Soul. Echkhart Tolle wrote about it in The Power of Now. And recently, I heard Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, talk about it in a podcast. The problem with the voice in your head is that she’s relentlessly negative and critical, and if you al…
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Love is scary, especially if you’ve been burned by men repeatedly. Women who are repeatedly burned by men often got a broken template in childhood about what healthy masculine love looks and feels like. Abusive, critical, selfish, unavailable fathers set the tone for the kind of men women choose in the future, to the point where every man feels equ…
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Nice is one of those words that everyone says they value. But when it comes to attraction, more people – men and women – gravitate towards confident, funny and rich over “nice”. It’s a shame because there aren’t too many traits more important to a relationship than nice. Nice may mean selfless, nice may mean thoughtful, nice may mean “willing to co…
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I’ll admit: I’m a bit of an intellectual snob. Okay, maybe a lot. Listen, I don’t have many hobbies, so I read a lot and nothing turns me on more than great conversation and sparkling wit. I spent a decade trying to find an Ivy League grad who also had a gift for banter – only to discover that few people possess those respective skill sets. The few…
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Second wave feminism was great for women in the United States. Today, more women graduate college than ever before and more women are financially independent than ever before. The result of this is that because women don’t “need” men to provide for them, far more women are choosing not to get married and to exit bad marriages. On top of that, the q…
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The Barbie movie is now a billion dollar phenomenon – with good reason. It’s a movie told from a woman’s point of view that is unabashedly feminist but fairminded in how it treats its other protagonist, Ken. While it’s visually stunning and the soundtrack is fun, there’s a deeper message about gender roles, expectations, society and romantic relati…
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Have you ever been in a relationship where you are afraid of speaking your mind? Where every disagreement produces high anxiety because if you speak up, it could cause a fight, he could lash out, or he might even break up with you? It may be common but it sure isn’t healthy. Good relationships are strong enough to handle respectful disagreement bec…
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After many years on Earth, it’s common to feel like you know what you like and what kind of partner would work for you. The problem is that the more we get ground in to looking for our “type” (which is usually the opposite sex version of you), the fewer people qualify and you end up alone. In Love U, we flip that script and learn to date on the mar…
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It’s normal to feel anxious about dating. Too many men are selfish, emotionally unavailable, and incapable of making you feel secure. But when you find a secure man who treats you well, your anxiety can be a real detriment. When you treat a nice, consistent guy as if he’s a constant threat to hurt you or abandon you, most of those nice guys will ev…
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Masculinity is suddenly a hot topic in America. Is masculinity – aggression, decisiveness, ego – inherently toxic? Would men be better off acting more like women? If so, what does that mean for women who remain attracted to stereotypically masculine men? This is a common theme of my coaching in Love U and in this podcast, I wanted to share some of …
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Yes, it’s a provocative title. But there’s some science underlying it. Because women are more sensitive to each others’ needs and emotional cues, they’re often more likely to withhold the truth. Think of all the times you didn’t speak your mind to your boyfriends (or tell your girlfriends what they really needed to hear). And because you don’t alwa…
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