Send us a text It's the beginning of the Holiday Season so we asked Jim's Mom, Ellie, if she'd like to join us and class up the joint a bit. We'd like to have Mark's Mom on, but her agent is playing hardball. Shout out Apple Valley License Bureau Age gaps Newt's--Jim goes rogue More George Washington tooth talk The Hands Story Thanksgiving favorite…

Send us a text We got our years a little bit out of order, but this week is 1979 albums. The fall off between 1979 and 80 is kind of the beginning of the end, so we need a new premise. Some decent laughs on this one. Enjoy--and thanks for listening You had ONE job Mccarthur Park Newt's Seriously Great Burgers Boat piss Bootleg wine Singer transitio…

Send us a text Here we go on a first of two recordings in one session. We haven't done a double in a while, and next week you'll find out why. Original plan was to talk 1979, but time got away, and we improvised. Bootleg/Pirate Radio Purple People Eaters Mark goes blue Let us salvage your week USA! Ta Daah! Newt's: Contract discussions Rennaissance…

Send us a text We were overdue for a guest, so we invited neighbor Jeff from WI to come on and impart his wisdom on us. We were going to talk about state stereotypes, but we wound up just shooting the breeze and learning a thing or two about MN's neighbor to the east. We'll do music next time. Special guest neighbor Jeff Nobody prepared Newt's--fea…

Send us a text Following up on the smashing success of our inaugural Mount Rushmore series, we explore 1978, which happens to be a very strong year for rock music. Jim forgets his dollar--again Mount Rushmore explained--again Another thanks to feegee for our original theme music Pat K's email Eddie Money miss Newt's--Apple Valley Minnesota's premie…

Send us a text Instead of just talking about cool albums from a great year, 1977, Jim decides that we come up with a definitive top 4 each. Mark did not understand the assignment, which is as entertaining as it is disappointing. Mark's red beer in his giant mug Vikings choke again Iceland's famous Penis Museum Newt's was HOPPING! Shoutout neighbor …

Send us a text Look, they're not all first round picks. OK? --Allen Gamble to Terry Hoitz, The Other Guys It's not your fault Mark starts swearing Right in the breadbasket Newt's--Pull tab Winners! PUP list for curling is apparently a thing Radio Game--Newt's staff picks Headphone guy at the bar Another Shark Tank idea 1976 Rock Albums--Boston, Lef…

Send us a text It's Episode 82 already. You'd think the product would be far better by now. There are actually a few good laughs on this one, so please enjoy and thank you for listening! Venus Flytrap Mark's musical frustrations Jim's airport reunion MN Vikings remain undefeated at 5-0 Go Lynx? Jim's wreath kid The Schenker brothers Newts--Apple Va…

Send us a text Back at it after a week off. Give it a listen to see if it made any difference. Visit to the Corporate Office Newt's Come for the Burgers, stay for Sara's new hair style! "Up North" Shoutout Jim's old friends Bruce S and Rob K How will the Vikings blow it this year? RIP Pete Rose--they made an example out of you Updating "the list" H…

Send us a text Due to our very demanding social calendars, we couldn't record on our normal night, so we grabbed this episode off the top shelf of the pantry--next to the Cream of Tartar and coffee filters for a pot no longer owned. Mark's movie review of Go Shoutout to Mark's buddy and former Ascertainers guest, Steve Are we killing off rock stars…

Send us a text We think we may have found a loophole to play music without being sued. Stay tuned and save up bail money for us just in case. Newt's--still #1 in our hearts, livers and stomachs. Go there! Should we go green? Mark spurs international tension The big watch Pickpocket vs Peeping Tom Radio Game* Who's better than Rob Halford? Hooked on…

Send us a text Today we are joined by multi-episode guest, Jason. This one is the second attempt of the night as the first one got a little too real (colonoscopies were discussed). This one is pretty fun, though. Apologies to Dr Seuss Jerry Garcia's nub Radio Game First 8oo8 witnessed in a movie National Geographic Newt's--Jalapeno Popper Burger. G…

Send us a text Dripping with overconfidence from the previous episode, our heroes realize that luster will soon fade, so they barely even try on this one. They lean into the suck. Enjoy! Another one bites the dust Best of the worst? Easily Distracted Errors and Omissions Newt's--Legendary Tots Radio Game --the pot grows Jim's non-partisan political…

Send us a text Taking a rare break from music (pause for laughter) to bring you a universally popular topic--Pizza. Of course, we get to it and then distract ourselves a time or three. During Errors and Omissions, we get very close to passing out while laughing. Sci Fi philosophy Jim's gets his podcast review from Mark Jay Mohr Brokeback denial New…

Send us a text This one is a tad spicy and faster paced. Makes up for when we usually mail it in. Early shot at Noah Lyles Convention synopsis Jim's playing hurt Todd O shoutout Mark's fashion mastery White socks--in or out Newt's--New bartender Beth is legit Radio Game Errors & Omissions Word game in last write up (answers in the hashtags below) O…

Send us a text We went into this episode with the best intentions of talking about singers with average-to-bad voices that worked perfectly for their band, but then Jim made a life choice at dinner. He ordered a big salad and somehow that decision--and its aftermath--took up a healthy portion of the episode. Should've known better. Touch and Go Ber…

Send us a text Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, and nobody doesn't like Little River Band. It had to be said. Join us as we rip on each other for a solid 45 minutes (but in a good way). Your non-political oasis Radio Game enhancement $$ More on Mark's giant watch Golf controversy (and bonus Goldmember reference) Shoutout potential new listener LeeAnn …

Send us a text When you hit rock bottom, you've got nowhere else to go but up! Our daubers were down after last episode, but we rallied and this one is just about as good/bad as the average. Some laughs, some interesting trivia, and (spoiler alert), nobody wins the radio game. Davenport Sears--what happened? Newt's--New Bartender--possibly named Be…

Send us a text Due to scheduling issues and a bout with Covid, we had a 3-week hiatus from recording. You might think we'd be rejuvenated and ready to deliver some mind-blowing stuff, but we both agreed that this episode might be one of our most low-key yet. Maybe you like that sort of thing, but we are working on bouncing back with some more upbea…

Send us a text Super-guest Steve (Mark's friend, not Jim's brother--who is no slouch) is on for our first ever successful 3rd recording in one session. We really wanted to talk about 1981 music, but what do you know? We talked mostly about cars of that era. Around the world with Steve Guest Newt's spokesman Radio Game Water beds Aaand we're talking…

Send us a text This is part two of our recording session with Mark's HS buddy, Steve. So much natural conversation that we dang near blew through without an introduction and even omitted the Radio Game. You're welcome. Bob Dylan fading Bruce Springsteen still gives it That time Ted Nugent babysat Steve Oregon Trail Newt's: Because we asked nicely L…

Send us a text Today we are joined by Mark's best friend from High School, Steve (not to be confused with Jim's brother Steve). If you judge someone's character by the company they keep, Mark must be a good dude. RIP Saxophonists Newt's--New Burger of the Month and we're not even mad Even more disorganized live Shoutout Jim's car guy, Griffin Mark'…

Send us a text We dial it down in terms of tone and volume from last episode with Jim's family. Throwing another music one at you --seeing as we are supposed to be a music podcast and all. Public corrections Newt's and Mark's bacon Shoutout Feegee (creators of our theme music) Mark's championship editing skills Free Tootsie Pops, er no? Unfrosted R…

Send us a text I know what you're thinking--are these the people Jim grew up with or was one of them bitten by a radioactive spider. The jury is still out on that one. We celebrate Jim's mom's birthday with some laughs and just the right amount of brotherly angst. **Because we had 5 people and only 4 microphones, Jim decided to sit between 2 mic's …

Send us a text We finally persuade Mark's wife, Dianne, to sit in on an episode. We told her she didn't have to talk or anything--just check it out and she could chime in if she wanted to. Basically, the podcast version of just the tip. Well, we got more than we bargained for as she did chime in, and she was awesome! Meatloaf again Newt's--The Plac…

Send us a text If you ever wanted to know how Jim would react to winning the Radio Game--this episode is for you. What started innocently as a second episode of the night turned into some pretty good laughs and a good time overall. Mark really liked this one. Multi-media exposure Grab bag redux OG Newt's Kiss Army Mark's grooming tips The Miracle W…

Send us a text New concept tonight. We're not pointing any fingers here, but everyone knew Mark and Jim would run out of topics sooner or later. So tonight, we break out the Grab Bag. Might be a worthy concept, but who's kidding who? Newt's shoutouts Mark and Jim leave fashionably late Thank goodness we're not political RIP Bill Walton Team America…

Send us a text As the title indicates, we could use some of YOUR input on music topics. I mean it's not like we talk about any topic for more than 1/4 of any episode (although there is some juicy Molly Hatchet and Jethro Tull stuff in the radio game today). Thanks for the theme music, feegee (@feegeeband) Mark shot a 50 and he's going to STATE! Err…

Send us a text In the spirit of the new golf season, we had to use a Mulligan on this one. We recorded on our usual night, and it turned out even less good/more bad than usual. We added Jim's wife for support and got a much better result. Golf recap We put the suck in seersucker Mark's Bird Island-Lake Lillian glory days story Puckered has entered …

Send us a text Hey, we made it to 60--and still aren't very good. What does say about you for listening? Newt's is HOPPING New car to Mark Size concerns Movie Reviews: Clerks and Blade Runner 2049 Radio Game Bee Gees Documentary Eff Jimmy Fallon Timberwolves--can they do it? Sprewell's financial prowess Kentucky Derby update Errors & Omissions 2024…

Send us a text We take a slight left turn from almost being a music podcast to talk about the thing everyone in our demographic can relate to in some way--Wide World of Sports. Reunted and it feels so good International listeners Wedding recap--guy style Jim's cool friends New Newt's Featured Item--we're not mad....just disappointed Beyond burger s…

Send us a text May was rough on us schedule-wise. We'll record a fresh episode on the night this one is released. In other words, this episode was recorded a while back and has been aging in the barrel. Careful--we don't know how strong it is. No matter how you spell it... Earth's gonna earth The European Model Iman and other one-named celebrities …

Send us a text Due to scheduling conflicts with Mark and Jim's super busy social calendars (or something like that), we went to the episode pantry and pulled this one off the shelf. It was this, or canned peaches. Hey German listener... The Subaru of sandals Jim's milestone birthday Old guy stuff Uncle Milty's is bigger Newt's--The We'll See Burger…

Send us a text Ran into super listener Pat K at Newt's (nobody was hurt) and recruited him to come on a future episode. He claims to have listened to every Ascertainers episode. Be like Pat. The Rain the Park and Other Things South Park Randy Shoutout CSI: Jim's Basement Vikings Middle Linebacker or Porn Star? Still no Ascertainers Burger at Newt's…

Send us a text For all you Viking's fans, this is also known as the Scott Studwell episode. Not because we talk about him or anything--but he did wear #55. I bet he also knows Joey Browner. In this episode, we finish up on 1976 by talking some music, TV shows and other useless banter. Well, my broker is EF Hutton Newt's--yum--you should go there Sa…

Send us a text We're still trying to get our groove back (as if we ever had one). Jim's wife, Kris makes her Ascertainers debut. What would you say you do here? Gramma's Boy Introducing Mrs Jim Mancini's shoutout Girl drinks Fancy Ray sighting Newt's: Featuring the All-New Ascertainers Burger Errors & omissions Radio Game 1976 songs, pop culture, e…

Send us a text The sophomore slump hit your boys hard. We enter year two of this adventure by failing on our first two attempts at getting anything worth sharing with you, our loyal listeners--both of you. What we ended up with should be an indicator of how very bad the first two were... Listener shout outs Prospective guests Newt's and how Mark pi…

Send us a text That couple is Mark and Jim. During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal. Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out. Extra Kleenex for this one..... Another new friend at N…

Send us a text One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast. This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers.... The TDD people probably knew that one already). If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen. Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD) What's with all the Kleene…

Send us a text Big week--Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast pay us a visit. Jim has known Lance for going on 20 years and The Ascertainers have looked up to T.D.D. for a while. With four guys in the Dojio (Dojo/Studio--copyright pending), there's a little bit of cross talk and a whole lot of laughs. What The Ascertainers lack in t…

Send us a text We spent a little more time at Newt's before recording this one--you decide for yourself if it shows.... Thick glasses? Choose positivity, damn it! Have to or get to? Cheat day Ice Fishing story (a/k/a Aurora BOREalis Newt's is delicious Where the heck is Sara??? John Cameron Swayze Mark's new neighbor Fake meat during Lent Bob Marle…

Send us a text We were so ready to get started that we skipped the intro. As Ascertainers episodes go, this one is pretty close to the original recipe--50% of people won't like it. The other half will hate it. Enjoy! Big Shots Newts Shoutout--Welcome to MN Ken and Renee! Is it hot out there or is it just us? The two Parris's Think twice about lendi…

Send us a text After teasing 1973 as a topic last episode, we decided to actually tackle it this week and stuck with the plan. 1973--come for the easy listening, stay for the easier listening. This one was challenging to spice up. Knee Job Newt's you say? Symbiosis Who bites gum? Paging our German listener 1973--The rise of Heavy Music? Kind of. Ma…

Send us a text Well, we finally did it--we went the whole episode without talking about our topic-- which does get mentioned in the episode, but since we didn't cover it at all, we don't want to further mislead by using it in the episode title. One way to look at this is that it's like a choose your own adventure. Another way is to question the (la…

Send us a text It's been brought to our attention that we maybe not mention a topic in the title of the episode since we only get to the topic with about 11 minutes left (margin of error +/-1 minute). Hey, at least we're consistent--and this one is NO different. We make up for it with extensive inaccurate rumors about former MN Vikings All Pro Safe…

Send us a text Just Mark and Jim on this one. Feeling guilty about not giving his guest/brother much of a chance to speak on Episode 43, Jim vows to do better on this one--and pretty much succeeds. The bar is set pretty low for him. Smiley face emoji Mark's visit to Como Park Zoo Conservatory No gibbons for you today Chuck Foreman When to execute a…

Send us a text Unusual night in that in addition to our typical pre-game visit to Newt's (in Apple Valley--ever heard of it?), we then went into St Paul to catch a live set from the band Feegee (@feegeeband)--who is the technically the artist that recorded the Ascertainers theme. We had a designated driver, our guest for the evening, Jim's brother …

Send us a text At this point, I feel a little bad putting a topic in the title, because we end up getting to the topic in the waning minutes (spoiler alert). Today, we fry some bigger fish with Broadcast Legend and across the street neighbor--Roy! Jim's anatomy Get to know Roy Deep dive into sportscasting, play be play and color commentary Doc Emri…

Send us a text Special/recurring guest Jason from the 'hood joins us to kick off 2024. After the usual chit chat, we get around to discussing Ballads. Yes, we can see the bottom of the topic bucket--please send in your suggestions to TheAscertainers@gmail.com Also, to help you with the visual, the conversation before the theme music kicks in was ab…

Send us a text This is technically our 40th episode (our Special Holiday Episode was not numbered). Jim had to be up early the next morning, so we only recorded one episode. However, we still hit our normal hydration quota, so I don't think we gained much. Also, we decided to try without a topic. Sorry Ma--Forgot to Plug in Your Headphones Radio Ga…